David, NEED HELP!

[Packo]

We can no longer get into the site at home, only here at work. When we try all we get is something that comes up saying "Test Page" and a bunch of other stuff. We are having no trouble getting into anything else, just this site.

Is this a problem with my providers server? What can I do?

Despondend in Beaufort.

(thought it sounded like a Dear Abby letter so....)

[Andy]

Unsatisfied in the South,

It sounds like your relationship with your computer is faltering. When was the last time you gave it flowers? Have you been sharing your hard drive? Have you been down loading your lap top elsewhere? When was the last time you said, ?I love your RAM?? Do you gently stroke your key board and communicate or just use it and then go to sleep? You men are all pigs and should be happy with what you get!

Abby

[David]

It sounds like the DNS server of your isp may not have updated yet. Here is what I would try though in case it is your computer. Clear your browser cache then delete your site cookies for this site. Close your internet connection entirely ( not just the borwser but the whole thing ) and then reboot.

[Drywall]

toss your cookies.

[Packo]

Will try and do what you said.......would those be the cookies in the "temporary internet folder"? If not, are they the ones in the "cookies" folder that if I delete the wrong ones will screw up my internet stuff?

Packo

[Packo]

Thanks so much for your reply. How do you women know us men so well. Geeze, do we wear signs or something? I have been steeping out with a cute little Dell here at work. She's sleeker, her face is thinner, and talk about fast.......She has two firm speakers also that seem to respond better to my touch. I am afraid though that my Compaq at home is getting wise and I don't want to lose her. Do I keep playing this dangerous game with Delly, do I go home and admit to Compaq what I've been doing, or do I just quit using both of them and go back to typewriting?

Confused in the Confederate States.

[xgrunt]

Get a LAPTOP and do a little LAPWRITING. Signed Busy in Alabama

[David]

Do a search in your C: drive for a folder named cookie. You can just delete anything that says patriotfiles on it. You could also try a search on that drive for me@patriotfiles. That should bring the cookies up too. If you have Norton System Works it also has a utility to do this safely. You could also try the cookie cruncher download from the site under utilities.

[Packo]

Will try tonight. If it doesn't work.....See ya'll Monday.

Packo

[Andy]

So, Dell is sleeker, thinner in the face and fast. That?s not surprising, those Dell?s are all sluts. Firm speakers? Sure their firm but look closely, I?ll bet you find they were artificially augmented with plastic!!!

Leave the trollop, confess your sins, pray Compaq takes you back and work hard to earn her trust. If you don?t you?ll probably end up doing it manually. Then again you could stay with Delly but no doubt you?ll get a virus.

PMS-ing Abby

[xgrunt]

I bet they both have silicon implants. Signed-Giving a whole new meaning to the term Palm-Pilot in Alabama

[Arrow]

Andy your a nut! I laughed til I cried. In fact your all a bunch of nuts! Check this out:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.

Can you please help me !!!???

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER


------------------------------------------------------------
Dear TROUBLED USER,

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support

[Packo]

Thanks for the advice but when I started up today I tried the channel just to see if it was still weird. Well, it's still weird with people like Andy, Sis, Me, and others but got right in. I don't get it, think it must have been a problem with my provider.

Thanks All!

Packo