Why It's Great To Be A Guy!

[Arrow]

Why It's Great to Be a Guy


Phone conversations last 30 seconds.

A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

You can open all your own jars.

Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.

You can go to the bathroom alone.

Your last name stays put.

You can leave a hotel room bed unmade.

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend.

Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of three.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

If you're 34 and single, no one notices.

Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a flip if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.

Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100.

Another guy can show up at the party in the same outfit.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

[Keith_Hixson]

Does this mean there is an advantage to becoming a man?

If this list gets published there will be a lot of sex change surgeries.

First you knock us down on old age and build us guys up for something that wasn't even our decision.

Keith

P.S. Several years ago the State of Washington spent over $100,000 on a study about who uses the Rest Area Restrooms.

Conclusion: One third more women use these Restrooms.
Women take twice as long as men in their visit to the
Restroom.
The state will now build twice as many stalls for
women as are built for men.

Down side to the survey: One phone call to a married man would have given them the same information without the expense of a study.:confused:

[Arrow]

It's a joke Keith..goodness are you havin' a midlife crisis? I already had mine. Whatever you do don't make any major decisions or drastic changes to your lifestyle. You will be sorry..just take my word for it.

Regard men having it easier..yeah they do when it comes to gettin ready to go somewhere..when you have a mane like mine it is not a short stint in front of the mirror to get it under control...laugh it off....look at Andy he found a real good reason to be happy..he found out he wasn't old after all! In regard to getting old jokes just remember I was married with child while you all were barely out of Jr High!...

[Keith_Hixson]

Just being cynical with my warped humor. Nobody appreciates us cynics.

Keith:D

[Arrow]

little sparrow says;)

[Seascamp]

I?m sure glad I?m a Ladie's ?Forrest Gump? and don?t notice or get too excited about the differences. Maybe that?s why the Gals say to me ?your impossible?. Oh well, I guess I could have been a guy off charging wind mills for the Gals but that just never occurred to me to be the thing to do. Work, home, giving a Gal a daisy a day and looking out after the kiddos is a plateful enough. Jasus, what would happen if had any idea about it all. Greef, I?d probably get depressed or something like that. LOL

Fair seas, Bill


:D

[Andy]

Here on the East coast more and more places have Restrooms, not men's or women's, more of unisex approach. Of course they are mostly one seater's.

Bill: did you really mean to say you don't "notice or get excited about the differences" (between men and women)???????
Son, we need to talk!

Stay healthy,
Andy

[blues clues]

man ant onebody that old.
razz:D

[Keith_Hixson]

I'm the self-appointed theropist on this site. Also, unofficial theropist and unsolicited but I want my shot at Bill. Oh well this seems hopeless; go for it guys.

Bill there is a difference, Andy will give you the details.

Keith:D

[Seascamp]

Yut ta hey, right church, wrong pew. Thanks Keith but I?m OK and no need for Andy to do any walk through drills. Ya see the deal is that if the Gals think ya are a Forrest Gump they tend to set about the proper work of settings things right. Goodness, learn me again, one more time. Kind of like roll me over in the clover, lay me down and do it again. It?s an old sea dog trick ya see. When they say, ?You?re simply impossible? ya know ya got a ticket at the station. I can?t pull off the Conan the barbarian image so I as might as well be a Forrest Gump that serves up a daisy a day to the Lass and dummies up when the Lass gets a bit ornery or strange about this or that. So ?not noticing? or remarking on the differences is like money in the bank. And that?s all I have to say about that. LOL

Forrest SeaScamp Gump.

Fair seas, Bill
;) :D :D :D

[Arrow]

Scamp..you made me laugh..it's oh so true...

To the rest of you this wasn't my list...I was just crusin' the net lookin for something to make me laugh..before I went to sleep...an experiment my sis put me up to...gee I sure stirred up a ruckus...."remember" me to stay away from this topic from now on...;)

[Keith_Hixson]

Scamp

Now I know your plan, its okay! You don't have to go see Andy. Cops are little strange you know. He might have messed you up big time.

Keith:D

[Seascamp]

Thanks Keith, I guess I dodged that bullet. I suspect a Mass. Cop would slap me in irons and put me in the jailhouse just for talking this strange Western dialect; otherwise known as proper English. Maybe they?d think I was some kind of alien and have a long hard look at what they got. Best keep my yap shut as I will be in Maryland next week and that is definitely in the danger zone. LOL.
And Arrow, you get a daisy this day for putting up with us naughty boys. Shame on us bad boys.

Fair seas, Bill


:eek:

[Andy]

Now wait a minute. I've spoken to both Frisco and Beau. Both will tell you I do not have an accent. Those two left coast types have that surfer dude accent but I'm the one who's normal. (I just read what I said, I'm normal, that's funny.) Besides, if we arrested people for talking funny, Clinton would have been busted in '92. Maybe we ought to write a law about that.

I wouldn't have given anyone the wrong directions. It's those southern boys who love their farm animals so much. Around here, animals are just food that hasn't been cooked yet.

Stay healthy,
Andy
PS: I can even pronounce the letter "r"!!!!!

[Seascamp]

Sure Andy. I was born on a Wednesday but it wasn?t last Wednesday. This Fleet Sailor is going to ask two Army troops about another Army troop and get a straight answer? Sure, yup.

I?d ask Keith to be an independent third party to get after the facts. But then he?s Army as well and ya?ll would put a scam on him just so he?d have the back up position of having been accidentally deceived by well meaning scalawags. Aarrgg, it?s a lonely world being a Fleet Sailor in the sea of the green machine, aarrgg. And Ya?ll ought be careful about what ya say about them Southern goat ropers as they do take their animals very seriously. Real serious now, ya hear. LOL

Fair seas, Bill

Ok then, here is the litmus test, say it quick: Red Roosters romp round raspberries. Oh, sorry about that, try again another day. Snicker, snicker.




:D :D :D