Packo
06-24-2002, 12:50 PM
My last few months of service were spent at Edgewood Arsenal Maryland. Home of Nerve Gas and Med Vols. As a Sergeant, I was given a squad. Unless you had "a pass" or "liberty card" you could not go off base unless you were E-5 or above.
I got a young E-duece in from boot camp, (it was a computer unit so those with a computer background came strait from boot camp), and he was put in my squad. This guy was from like "Toadsuck Arkinsaw", young, and dumb. Well some of the guys were going to show him Baltimore so I approved their passes and sent them on they're way. Of course they took the poor Hayseed to "THE BLOCK". The Block is like the "Combat Zone" in Boston, and I'm sure like a bunch of places in any big city. Rough ass bars, hookers, drug addicts, alkies, and punks.
The bars had a funny little way of getting money out of you. The bar hookers would come over, sweet talk you, then ask if you'd buy them a drink. If you said "yes", they ordered a bottle of Champagne. (term used loosely, it would be a $4 bottle of "Cold Duck") The bill for said "Champagne" would be at least 20 to 30 bucks. If you couldn't pay....you usually had someone huge to "discuss" the tab with. This was just one of the many cute things that would happen on The Block.
Well, Pvt. Smuckinfoose falls madly in love with a hooker. She tells him how she needs rescued from her evil pimp and how she fell in love with him the minute she saw him. She could tell from his accent' that he was a good man. And so it goes.
The young Pvt. never bothered to get the opinon of his worldly and wise Sgt. He went back to the block a couple more times, just to be sure and yep, she was always there waiting for her "Little ol Tootsie Roll Pop". He comes back to the base and asks permission to be a little late for work that he needed to go to the credit union. I didn't think much of it so told him no sweat. He goes to the credit union, gets a loan for an apartment full of funiture and enough for a security deposit and first and last months rent. Now, being single, he could not live off base, but got the place for Irma La Duce'. She picks him up that evening at the base, takes him to a furniture store, then to their new love nest. Knowing he has to be back before revillie she drops him back off at the base after capturing his virginity in a funiture-less apartment in Bel Air. He floated on gossimure wings into the barracks. Their funiture arrived the next day and she taught him the Kama Sutra that evening. He crawled into the barracks in LUV!
The next evening nobody shows at the gate to pick him up. He's sure the evil pimp has found her and calls the barracks to talk with his Sgt. I told him to hold on, I'd be at the gate in a minute. I grabbed a couple more Sgts and we went to pick him up. When we arrived in Bel Air all we found was an apartment as empty as his head. I figure he's still paying for that furniture........
Love Hurts
Packo
I got a young E-duece in from boot camp, (it was a computer unit so those with a computer background came strait from boot camp), and he was put in my squad. This guy was from like "Toadsuck Arkinsaw", young, and dumb. Well some of the guys were going to show him Baltimore so I approved their passes and sent them on they're way. Of course they took the poor Hayseed to "THE BLOCK". The Block is like the "Combat Zone" in Boston, and I'm sure like a bunch of places in any big city. Rough ass bars, hookers, drug addicts, alkies, and punks.
The bars had a funny little way of getting money out of you. The bar hookers would come over, sweet talk you, then ask if you'd buy them a drink. If you said "yes", they ordered a bottle of Champagne. (term used loosely, it would be a $4 bottle of "Cold Duck") The bill for said "Champagne" would be at least 20 to 30 bucks. If you couldn't pay....you usually had someone huge to "discuss" the tab with. This was just one of the many cute things that would happen on The Block.
Well, Pvt. Smuckinfoose falls madly in love with a hooker. She tells him how she needs rescued from her evil pimp and how she fell in love with him the minute she saw him. She could tell from his accent' that he was a good man. And so it goes.
The young Pvt. never bothered to get the opinon of his worldly and wise Sgt. He went back to the block a couple more times, just to be sure and yep, she was always there waiting for her "Little ol Tootsie Roll Pop". He comes back to the base and asks permission to be a little late for work that he needed to go to the credit union. I didn't think much of it so told him no sweat. He goes to the credit union, gets a loan for an apartment full of funiture and enough for a security deposit and first and last months rent. Now, being single, he could not live off base, but got the place for Irma La Duce'. She picks him up that evening at the base, takes him to a furniture store, then to their new love nest. Knowing he has to be back before revillie she drops him back off at the base after capturing his virginity in a funiture-less apartment in Bel Air. He floated on gossimure wings into the barracks. Their funiture arrived the next day and she taught him the Kama Sutra that evening. He crawled into the barracks in LUV!
The next evening nobody shows at the gate to pick him up. He's sure the evil pimp has found her and calls the barracks to talk with his Sgt. I told him to hold on, I'd be at the gate in a minute. I grabbed a couple more Sgts and we went to pick him up. When we arrived in Bel Air all we found was an apartment as empty as his head. I figure he's still paying for that furniture........
Love Hurts
Packo