visitation

[DMZ-LT]

In order to try to understant my youngest daughter better , I woke up at 7am today to help my daughter drive about 100 miles to see an x/? boyfriend who happened to be locked up in the HARTSVILLE CO. Detention Center - he says he is innocent. Any way she can go in and see him and i can't cause I am not cleared. I have known him for 21 years.. They have 3 hours to be in a 24 +12 room with lots of other prisoners. I drive away and read a book- Ann Rice - for 2 1/2 hours, Get there early and see Lisa sitting on the curb crying when I get there. Seems when they told them time to leave they were too passionate amoung the 30 other people. Told my daughter she could no longer come visit ever. Told her she couldn't even stay in the building - had to go outside in the 90% heat Called the guard and asked if we could work this out - I would have to talk to others -- Scouts out , never did take a prisoner ! Don't Puck with my family

[SEATJERKER]

...sounds like a tough row to hoe...

...If he's in "detention", then something ?serious?" happened, and not knowing the situation makes it hart to comment...
...he's says he's innocent, he didn't do nuthin',...last time I heard that, I was holding down a guy with a 357 pokin' out from under his ribs, sorry to be sarcastic, but we've all heard that before too many times...
... you said X/? boyfriend... .. to be "booted" for locking lips during visitation sounds like it was either for stirring up others emotionaly, or the risk now days of "passing" contraband, and "kissing" or personal contact is very limited...
...sorry for your daughters pain, and hope she can see the "TRUTH" of the situation, or the "TRUTH" of this man, before it's too far along...
...if you've known him for 21 + years, your call,... I'm sure you have made some assumtions, and your family comes first,...too many Jeckel's, and Hyde's out there...
...I hope she moves on.... best wishes..........

[Keith_Hixson]

Boy are you cynical! But some good advice over all. I wouldn't put it quite the way you did. But never the less not bad advice.

John, check your PM for some additional advice.

Keith

[Arrow]

Good thing I wasn't there. While understanding that they don't allow any personal contact for the reasons stated by C passing of contraband etc. The prisoners are usually told no contact. And many times the visitors are told also. It wasn't necessary for them to kick her to the curb. I would have been more than a little upset to see that.

We all know though once your loved one gets in the "system" you will be treated suspect also. It just goes with the territory. It is something to think long and hard about. As to if you really want to go down that rabbit trail with them.

He may be innocent. But 99.9 % of those incarcerated make that claim. Young love is sweet and sometimes a lot more exciting with a bad boy or a rebel. But time passes and your thirty, then forty, and then fifty he hasn't changed and your an old woman waiting in line to show your id one more time for a few minutes of conversation with someone that refuses to grow up.

It is hard to let go of the ones we love but sometimes we have to.

Love you "little Lt" God bless you little girl. Stay safe k? your big sis..

[SEATJERKER]

...detention, not prisoner, so I'm to understand that he's in the system awaiting ??trial??/ and/or release// how long has he been detained... sorry to spout without the facts, and yea, trust is something you earn with me, I don't know you, I don't trust you period, I've earned that, and if your in the hands of "barney" already, I trust you even less already,...sorry for being cynical... my first gut instinct has kept me alive this long, and I go with it,
...keep her spirits up, and tell her to remember "men are like buses, there is another coming down the road 30 minutes later" don't ride the ones with square wheels, give her a hug, and tell her you love her..............

[xgrunt]

most facilities have rules about physical contact among the prisoners and visitors. It could be they carried their good feelings seriously beyond thse rules. I know when I was prison In Georgia you could not kiss your lady hello or goodby as it was too easy to pass hash oil ,etc ,mouth to mouth. However putting her on the curb in that heat WAS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR. Yes. I meant to yell that last part out. What ever the problem was it was handled in a totally un- professsional manner. :d: :d:

[Arrow]

...keep her spirits up, and tell her to remember "men are like buses, there is another coming down the road 30 minutes later" don't ride the ones with square wheels, give her a hug, and tell her you love her

C only you could come up with something like that. I'm going to have to pass it on to my girls.

Brother Keith you got to understand C's Style. He's from NY State. I kinda of like the way you never have to wonder what he is thinkin...he is what he is and says what he thinks. NO PRETENSE.

Life would be so much easier if more of us would do that. Then you could sort out who your real friends and enemies were quick fast and in a hurry it would save us all so much time and frustration.

[DMZ-LT]

I was kinda hopeing getting older would be a little easier than this and yes I am movin!

[Arrow]

there ain't nothin' to do but "dance as though no one was looking and love as though it's never going to hurt".. :a:

[DMZ-LT]

First let me stat by saying that my dad's post was WAY off- my friend is in a "program" for 6 months and is coming home sep. 30th! He has never said that he was innocent for ANYTHING- he was driving on a suspended lisence- that's all folks! We are allowed to kiss & hug when I first see him & when I leave after 3 hours- this is not prison! The lady was a bitch and that's all! Dad made up his own version, funny, since he wasn't even there and all - Jeremy has been one of the best friends I will ever have- he's a great person, so no worries about lil' lt- But remember- there's always the "true story" & the one someone passes on & somehow it becomes what THEY want it to be- Hey sis- no worries- you would love jeremy just as much as I do! I'm blessed to have him in my life for all these years! He respects me and unconditionally loves me & that's all I want!!!!

[Arrow]

the way I read his post was from a daddy worried about the treatment of his girl. All the conjecture was put in by everyone else. Too many years and to much experience and a little worry about someone we love. Forgive us if we went down the wrong trail. But I think you can see a lot of love here for you. Hey! What can I say we are old people it's our job to worry about you. That's what old people do. :a:

And yes I have had the dubious honor of being a visitor in similar facilites and they aren't always cordial to say the least. I have some great stories to tell you that weren't funny at the time but as I write this I am smiling at some of the dumb things that happend while visiting. Not that I want to do that again. I am getting to damn old to spend my time lookin' at someone in blaze orange talkin to them through glass.

Again forgive us for being a little overprotective over you..but heck I just had birthday #xy (I ain't tellin') everybody has it figured out but they let me live in my delusion of eternal youth. (heck it's the internet why not) and you can bet I would get a lot of advice if I started a pen pal relationship with someone locked up. Probably cause they have been there or barely escaped goin themselves. Believe me men know men. And your the luckiest girl in the world if you got men on your side that care enough to let you know how a man might be thinkin'. Now go hug your daddy. I am sure he is confused as all heck by now. ;)

[DMZ-LT]

Thank you all, my life has been confused - but I am still here !

[SEATJERKER]

...agravated unlice"nd"..., and IF that's all, we won't hold him doin' sumtin simple stupid against him If he loves you as much as you hope...BUT...

...BUT if he don't clear up the "paper hangin' on him now, and retain the ability to drive, then he ain't gonna make no money, and he ain't gonna be able to support himself let alone you, and a second mouth that ends up sneaking up on relationships....

..."she's in love with the boy" Miss Trish Yearwood, pull it up Sis...

[Keith_Hixson]

You hang out with my friends and you'll really be confused.

I just fake sanity! I've been faking it for years!

Seriously, life can be confusing, especially them there young'ens of ours.

Keith ;)

[PHO127]

Don't worry about conjecture,, You know that your dad was only concerned about your safety. Whenever you look at what LT does, look from the point of view that he is only concerned for you and your safety. LT and I grew up in a very violent time and we tend to react that way when anything or one threatens us or someone we care about. It is quite simple for us, if it is a threat eliminate it. You worry your dad with some of the things that you do, THINK about your life and do something with it. JUST MY .02 WORTH.

[SEATJERKER]

...You sound "on screen" like you can take care of yourself, and please take eveything we say with "a grain of salt"...
...we live in a world that is TOTAL"LE" different then any life you think you know, no insults, or belittlement meant...
... We live in a world that has known great pain, and suffering, and all your father is trying to do is help you avoid making some of the same mistakes we have already made, And we were warned about the same ones by our parent's also...
...Only you know in your heart weather, or not you "truly" love him, and weather or not, he'll make it down the line as a good husband, and/or father, I'm not sure on your age, but I thought it was around 20???, so try to look at it from your dad's side also, he's been around a lot longer, and experience is the greatest teacher of all...
...not discounting your feelings one bit,...
... if he's "IT",... wish you the best,...
... if he's "not", don't think for one split second that your gonna "convert" him, and mold him into who you want in your heart...
...it might hurt, but you have to say "long run" at this point in time in the world...
...Now, when he gets out, give him one big hug, and one good kick in the ass, and tell him in no uncertian terms that there is no more second chances in regards to driving "privledges", and that it's time to grow up, and make adult deceisions on all aspects of life, keep movin'..... "C"

[Andy]

It's so very hard for us to live our children's lives for them and avoid mistakes made when we weren't able to do a very good job with our own lives. Bond with her, love her, you can give an opinion but - it's little Lt.'s life. That 100 mile drive sure sounds like an act of love.
All the luck in the world to both of you.

Stay healthy,
Andy

[Packo]

If'in I had a daughter I would feel the same way. I would not be real happy taken her to the Hoose Gow to see her "man". I know it's not a real Jail, but he isn't there for being a model citizen, and there is a reason they suspended his license in the first place. You should be happy that he is a bit overprotective. Had those Colombine Parents been just a bit more protective, they might not have let them store weapons and bombs in their bedrooms. I am not comparing you Lil' Lt or your guy to the Colombine looneys, but I think you get the point. Anyway he's old and won't remember any of this a week from now!

Paco

[1CAVCCO15MED]

I worry about my daughter a lot even though she is very levelheaded. One of the things I worry about is having to kill anyone that would do her harm. Her boyfriends have sensed that a little bit and I don't mind. :d:

[Johnny_One_Time]

Originally posted by 1CAVCCO15MED
I worry about my daughter a lot even though she is very levelheaded. One of the things I worry about is having to kill anyone that would do her harm. Her boyfriends have sensed that a little bit and I don't mind. :d:

Perfect sense.

[DMZ-LT]

Time makes us forget how fast life changes. Lisa was hit in her car yesterday - not her fault - - totaled the car, both airbags went off, drivers side doors crushed closed , smoke coming from the engine she was pulled from the car by strangers who told her " you are alive ! lay still " She is home now - looks like she did 12 rounds with Mike Tyson and she is in a lot of pain but as the strangers said - you are alive. I am not as strong as some here - if either of my daughters were killed I would go insane. We are all alive now - lets not hord the love , respect and joy we have for our family and friends. Let's remember what we learned 30 something years ago - the next breath is just a promise - all we got is now. Welcome home brothers. Love you more little LT !

[sfc_darrel]

Sorry to hear your child is hurt.

When my kids were growing up, I had a rule "Don't do anything to hurt you". Covers a lot doesn't it?

Also gave us something to smile about when they got hurt anyway and it wasn't their fault.

Hope she heals quickly. Hug her gently.

Joy

[SEATJERKER]

...???WHAT KIND OF CAR WAS SHE RIDING IN???
...I hope those were "Mike's" last 12 rounds as he hasn't done that well...
...send best wishes, and a hug( easy one)...

[Boats]

DMZ-LT;

I know the feeling I got to gal's too. One is 30 and the other 25 with one Grand-Daughter. When something happens to either of them (wife included) I kinda go nuts. First of all if their in pain I can't take it away or make it go away.

My youngest daughter was in a car wreck like yours and I almost lost it. I wanted to kill the guy she was with because of his reckless driving.

When its your family you can't always keep your cool. Yes Sir I can relate to all of the things you went through. One good thing is that kids bounce back pretty good. Us older dogs well we have to lick our wounds abit longer if you know what I mean.

I hope your Daughter gets well soon. I'm sure she's learned something from this incident. I always ask my kids that - Did you lean anything from what just happened? They say yes Dad and go out and forget it ever happened - Oh well.

Take care get your rest.

[SEATJERKER]

...I ask my Daughter to ask herself...

...will I get hurt ???

...will anyone else get hurt ???

...will I get in trouble ???

...

[Keith_Hixson]

My son was almost killed in July of 1994 when a lady ran a stop sign and hit the motorcycle on which he was a passenger. It took four years and six major surgeries to get him back going again. When something happens to our kids and we aren't there it really bothers us.

You tell Lisa we'll be praying for her and her family.

God Bless.


Keith

[Beau]

now it appears that fathers may be for the healing of daughters: take care of yourself and family, John --- enuff for this year.

[Beau]

Before I go back to my nom de plumme (Johnny One Time), I'd like to see that via our e-mails and the family posts here, participated in with your girls, or just by the statements you have made, John. I could be wrong but I sense a very passionate family --- strong emotions for one another, for better and worse, I think: you sound like a man with strong feelings, as much as courage --- and always, it seems, by what little we know, there is that commitment to your family, and they to you. You keep it that way, no matter what: time is in fact moving mighty fast --- much faster than those days when an afternoon could seem like a week.

It all has to do with that very tough earthly lesson of "Unconditional Love" --- God Damn tough thing to do. But, I think you are on that path, whether you want it that way or not: faster than most.

I am honored that you and your family have two of my sketched hanging up in your home in Georgia --- odd, my stuff 3,000 miles away.

Unconditional Love --- I had foster parents at the age of 15, and that fact speaks to the kind of extremes that I grew up in. Now, my older and somewhat famous brother and our younger brother, have not really seen my/their mother in ages, and ages. And, for decades my older brother just treated her like crap, and his Older Brother status influence the rest of us to do so, to a degree --- "crazy old lady" (Mo). Well, she screwed up alot, but some of that had to do with being a poor Chicana in a family that was hit hard by The Depression, and that made the flow of that once beautiful young girl set. Whether I am ready to assume the emotional and financial burden of caring, someday, for an ageing mother (dying soon, really). I will do so, and perhaps call her "mom" someday, and not "Mo" (crazy old Original Mo). When here last breaths appear on her chest --- I am going to be as tender as possible, and address the once young lady of beauty and intelligence, and insight.

Uncondional Love --- it can be a bitch. Well, gottsta gwang and get ready for a swim with the kid, and then cook the nights chop: get up a 3:30 for more Bull Shit --- Shaka Zula, Witchess --- she could win my trust if only she apologized, and there is the condition.

Johnny One Time

[Arrow]

Lt tell her she is loved...gentle hug to you all...had to scare you to death..those words "your alive" "she's going to be ok" had to be the sweetest you all have heard in a long long time...and know they are soundin' real sweet to her big sis right now..


pm your address to me please so I can send her a card...

[DMZ-LT]

I just wanted to say thank you to my daddy 1st for loving me and being not only my dad, but my friend! Keith- THANK YOU for your prayers, Andy, for the kind words, Beau, for always helping- It was an HONOR to get your art framed and have them hanging in the Hager household! Sid- you know I love you, and sis- I can't belive I made it through alive yesturday- But I DID!!! I know your prayers that you take the time everyday to make for me is a part of the reason I'm here! So, THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I think I'll just keep on movin', but right now it's a slow move -I hurt like a mother f'er!!! Love you all- little Lt.

[Arrow]

Thank the Father..man it's good to see you come up on the radar screen..Yup looks like that big Warrior Angel assigned to you is on the job..probably gettin a Medal OF Honor right now for standing between you and eternity..I know we all have our time..but yesterday wasn't yours..and WE ARE SURE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU WITH US!!!!! Love you little girl..God Bless your little pea pickin heart..!!!!