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View Full Version : Sayings, Adages, Saws, etc.


JeffL
01-21-2003, 12:46 PM
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. As every shovel of dirt hit his back, the donkey did something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed, as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.

The moral:
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
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Okay, that's enough of that B.S. ......The donkey later came back, caught the farmer out in the field and kicked the sh*t out of him. Then he went over to each of the farmer?s neighbors and kicked the sh*t out of them too for helping.

The REAL moral:
When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back to get you.

SweetSue
01-21-2003, 12:55 PM
lolol um
ahem!

I loved to 1st part....
the 2nd part made me PIMP.... hahaha!

JeffL
01-21-2003, 01:01 PM
Go change & come right baaaack........ :p

janecallanan
01-21-2003, 01:15 PM
Next time I'm called an "ass" I will consider it a compliment!

JeffL
01-21-2003, 01:17 PM
Well, then, consider yourself complimented! :D

JeffL
01-21-2003, 01:18 PM
Lessee - shield, shovel, helmet, flak jacket - I guess I'm ready.

JeffL
01-21-2003, 01:21 PM
There was just a story on the radio about a donkey cart accident in Chicago's Loop. They thought at first it was caused by a taxi driver, but then they found a monster pothole in the street.

Now they're saying it was the asphalt.

janecallanan
01-21-2003, 01:22 PM
Thank you, Jeffy, dear!

JeffL
01-21-2003, 01:41 PM
Jeffy.

Geez.............

Thanks, Toots!

cstfe
01-21-2003, 07:25 PM
Jeff.............. :( I woulda thunk that you'd behave yerself amongst this august body............. :D :D

Up to your old tricks...wonder if we could all get your address and come visiting???????????????? :b:

Esther

SweetSue
01-22-2003, 07:18 AM
go get em Esther! then pass that addy on to us ok?

muuuuuuuuuuuuuahahahaha!

JeffL
01-22-2003, 09:17 AM
Esther's just funnin' with ya, Sue. She's had my numbers for a long time............

:ek:


Hey, Sue. Want us to come up there and bundle with ya? Familiar with that term - bundle? :re:

cstfe
01-22-2003, 09:19 AM
:a: Sue

Jeff is right, I've had his numbers in more ways than one. On the other hand, where do you live? We just might put our heads together on this subject.

Hold on Jeff, we're working this out..... :re:

JeffL
01-22-2003, 09:22 AM
"Working this out"

Yeah, right. That's what I'm afraid of. What could possibly be worse than a Saskatchewan/California conspiracy?

:n:

JeffL
01-22-2003, 09:25 AM
(Moan...) I thought of something worse. A Saskatchewan/California/Buffalo conspiracy.

:n: :ek: :ac: :ac: :ai:

cstfe
01-22-2003, 09:49 AM
Ya finally got it!!!!!!!!!!! :D

You asked for it too. Haven't you learned to not pick on the weaker sex??? :D :a: :p

JeffL
01-22-2003, 10:09 AM
Weaker sex. Uh-huh.

When all three of you show up here I'm gonna be in deep doo-doo.

Just remember Esther: I also have YOUR numbers. :b:


As far as the other two, well I have no choice but to key the mike on my radio:

"PAN, PAN, PAN. THIS IS COAST GUARD VETERAN JEFF WITH AN URGENT NOTICE TO MARINERS AND EVERYONE ELSE. IMMINENT DANGER DUE TO UNAUTHORIZED INTERNET ACTIVITY. PAN, PAN, PAN."

cstfe
01-22-2003, 08:24 PM
Yeh but I can be outta town in 4 hours..dont' own a thing to hold me back..you can't run that fast...besides we are females, we kill bears to save our young..........you'd be an easy target...

janecallanan
01-22-2003, 08:29 PM
Jeff, you'd love every minute of it, and you know it!!!

daniel topliffe
01-23-2003, 04:00 AM
jeff. if you can't stand the heat.....
then get out of the K I T C H E N...

dan t

JeffL
01-23-2003, 08:27 AM
Dan, talk is cheap. Esther's been threatening to hug me for years. (I'm still waiting. Not even a cyber hug have I received.)

:ai:

I note that the Canadian contingent has yet to check in. I have every confidence that she and Jane are just teasin' me! :ai:

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh........This whole situation is very depressing. And it's real cold outside, so I can't go for a walk to figger things out. And I'm broke. And I can't find my socks. :q: :(