Women drivers and why to avoid them

[Stick]

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass everyday.
Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Flip one off? ...... I think not!!

[Jerry D]

I had a women driver pull out into the dirt road today in my lane in front of me as I was approaching the Stop sign she had been parked at. The middle of the road was a mud bog courtesy of TS Tammy so the lady wouldn't drive on her side of the road nor did she have the sense to wait at the Stop sign at the side road she pulled out of and she stopped right in my Lane and made me drive thru the mud bog to avoid getting her little red car muddy. Well my rear tires on my Pick up truck when the gas peddle is floored driving thru a mud bog will splatter everything beside or behind me I hope she got the idea I didn't like to drive thru mud bogs either and be made to drive around idiots parked in my Lane when they had the option to stay where they were and just let me pass in MY lane before proceeding down the Georgia dirt road to my home. When I got home I told my wife if I ever see that ladies car stuck in the mud or disabled by the side of the rode I WILL drive by and wave :ag:

[revwardoc]

I was driving down Rt. 2 here in MA, approaching an on-ramp where a woman driver, talkin on her cellphone(!) was rapidly approaching the yield sign which she ignored. I appraised the situation and, knowing that I had the right of way and was hemmed in by traffic anyway, waited until she was right next to me (she still hadn't bothered to look around and make any proper decisions), then leaned on the horn. It startled her so much, she screamed and dropped her phone on the road, shattering it, but she didn't loose control of the car. I drove away thinking she had learned a valuable lesson...and wondering what the person on the other end of the call was thinking.

[stevea]

agree. I drive 52 miles round trip each day, at the minimum, and the vast majority of drivers with sub-standard skills are women talking on the cell phone, where's a cop when you need 'em ?? :d:

[goodnessgracie]

The insurance industry would disagree with y'all.

Nonetheless, I wish I had my Georgia plates back, so as to forewarn folks that I ain't from around here.
(They have separate plates for tourists in several countries I've visited.)

Teach your daughters well... I'm teaching my fairy goddaughter to ride a motorcycle, i.e. be careful of all motorists with four wheels.

Drive safely,
Grace of the South

[Poncho1971]

Yes, I have seen some women do dumbass things in vehicles. However, the worst two things I've seen on the road were MEN!
At least that's what they looked like, coulda been real ugly women...
One jerk was working a crossword puzzle on the steering wheel!!
The other nut was talking on TWO cellphones, one in each hand!!
Course, there was this one lady driving down the road shaking the crap outta her baby!! With both hands! What could she be using to drive? And what was she trying to shake out of the baby?? Go figure..........maybe he ate the cell phone!

[b3196]

I stopped a woman for driving stupid
I gave her ticket
She gave me a rash of $hit
I told her, her license was false and fictitious.
She asked why
I told her the weight was 130 and she was at least 180 (A polite way of calling her a fat ass)
She called internal affairs
Sometimes ya just can't win
Bob K

[Poncho1971]

That was a good one Bob. You must be a lawman. Got 3 of those riding with us. Dang good to have around when someone trys to start some crap in a bar, local law will always (allmost) side with another lawman. Course the best reason to have them around is they are Brothers, Nam Vets, and just plain good people.
If I'm right, thank you for your service at home also.

[darrels joy]

Back when I was in college, I took a Traffic Engineering course. The professor, who was a registered professional engineer with lots of real world experience, told us that when you're stuck behind slow moving traffic and you're cussing women drivers, don't jump to conclussions until you get to the problem driver.

Chances are it is just a little old man in a hat.

He swore that when is driving skills deteriorated, he would never drive wearing a hat. ;)

Less than a week after this lecture, I was driving down a 4 lane arterial (2 each way) with 2 cars side by side going 10 miles an hour below the speed limit. When one slowed down enough for me to get between, I got a good look at both drivers.

Both were little old men wearing hats. :ek:

Joy

[b3196]

Poncho
Doing it for 29 years and I still think you should make to Ellijay next week......Plenty of beer and food. just bring your sleeping bag
Bob K

[Poncho1971]

I'm working on it Bob. Not sure yet, have a lot of family problems right now. Dad is 86, just had an operation at Charleston VA, is recuperating now, but has developed pneumonia. Mama is 81, had a stroke a year ago, has done ok, but has been deterioating as she can't walk now. She has developed a blood clot in her foot. If all that's not enuf, my best friend (he's a Nam Vet...199th LIB) is undergoing his 5th chemo threatment for leukemia now. One of my brothers (by blood) and my sister have MS, so everything is up to my older brother and me to take care of. I think it's just another test in my life, to see if I have a breaking point. That's exactly why I NEED a good ride or trip now. I'll do what I have to do, the trip may have to wait. TRouble is, when all lifes troubles arise, so do old demons from long ago start raising their ugly heads. I can hack it, so long as some smarta$$ doesn't get in my face. This is when i need BROTHERS!! Brothers are the only people on earth who understand how to handle (for lack of better words) another brother. Maybe it's because they are the people a veteran feels the most comfortable around, can really be himself. At least that's pretty much the way I see it. I'd go see a shrink, but first thing I'm gonna do is try to analyze the shrink, see what his angle is. I'm just too dang hardheaded!

Joy, helmets DO NOT count as hats on little ole bikers! lol
And they make bikes with training wheels that lower when the bike slows, so I don't plan to ever quit riding. So, some day if you see an old timer with training wheels, don't scare the $hit out of him blowin the horn! lol

[39mto39g]

Women drivers?
I think that may be a contradiction in terms.
A few days ago I was heading into Houston on the Freeway and this (Lady?) cuts in front of me and gives me the finger. WTF lady, I had been going the speed limit and in my own lane. I pull up along side of her and she gives me the finger again and then she shows me her 38 revolver. I looked at her and show her my sawed off 10 gage. she turned right and exit the freeway. Women don't like it when yours is bigger then theres. I wonder what she thought I did.
Ron

[Robert Ryan]

Happend every day here on CA freeways, I have been given the finger more then once by a female driver. I drive a 65 mph on the freeways which is the posted speedl limit, just like you when a person goes around me somitimes they flash the middle finger, when I catch up to them either by traffic or getting off the same exit, I smile and say may "God bless you", that usually leads to another flash of the finger.

[Keith_Hixson]

I've been driving truck on a parttime basics (on call). Bad driving is in all genders. The worst thing that happens to me when I'm driving is to be cut off by a driver. When you are driving a 30,000 lb vehicle and you have to hit the brakes, you don't stop very quickly. I've had a few close calls. I try to make sure I have lots of space in front of me at all times. So if someone does a cut off trick they at least can speed a head a little and maybe just maybe they won't get rear ended. Most truck drivers hate the rear enders because they will often get written up because some police officers feel that all rear end collisions are the falt of the one who rear ended the other vehicle however that isn't true when you have been cut off.

Keith

[b3196]

Blue hairs wearing cateract sunglasses, driving Buicks with handicap plates....Most dangerous things on the road today

[Gunner Carvo]

I haven't been able to ride my brand new Harley due to an accident with an 86 year old woman who cut me off and hit the brakes. I have aggrivated tendons in my shoulder still. That was 6 weeks ago.

[revwardoc]

I've had to "close encounters" with women drivers this week. On Sunday I was walking to the front door of a local supermarket, in the crosswalk mind you, when some woman drove right in front of me, missing me by 2 feet. I was so pissed I threw the bundle of plastic bags I was going to recycle and struck her rear window. She screeched to a halt and got right into her longshoreman's language, which I gave right back, then she threatened to sue me for damages to her car until I picked up the bags, and showed her that they were as empty as her head.

Yesterday I was behind a car that was making a right turn onto a side street in which were two Verizon vans. The first van took a left, no problem, but the 2nd van was driven by a woman who looked right at me then decided she could make it. I hit the brakes, went into a skid, hit the horn, flipped her off while she just waved and said, "Sorry!". All I can say in both cases is, "Tell the jury the killings were justified!"