My what is open!!!!
 

http://www.boundupdesigns.com/smileys/roflmao.gif


http://www.funforwards.com/pictures/april02/myass.jpg

This Must Be a Class Place
 

Good One Gary!!!!!

Can't believe this isn't a nation wide chain...

Sempers,

Roger

how sh!t and other bad things happen
 

The 15 rules of making bad decisions. Sound familiar ???
1. In the beginning was the Plan.

2. And then came the Assumptions,

3. And the Assumptions were without form.

4. And the Plan was without Substance.

5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

6. And they spoke among themselves saying,
"It is a crock of shit and it stinks."

7. And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and
said, "It is a pail of dung and we cannot live
with the smell."

8. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying,
"It is a container of organic waste and it is very
strong such that none may abide by it."

9. And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its
strength."

10. And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to
one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth
and it is very strong."

11. And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying
unto them, "It promotes growth and it is very powerful."

12. And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying
unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth
and vigor of the company with very powerful effects."

13. And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it
was good.

14. And the Plan became Policy.

15. And this is how shit happens...

:D

Some Wisdom Will Rogers
 

1. Don't squat with your spurs on.

2. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of
that comes from bad judgment.

3. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot
easier'n puttin'it back in.

4 . If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look
back every now an then to make sure it's still there.

5. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some
influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

6. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt
so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter
came along And shot him.

The moral: When you're full of
bull, keep your mouth shut.

7. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

8. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman.
Neither one works.

9. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to
do is stop diggin'.

10. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

11. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock
of sheep.

12. Always drink upstream from the herd.

13. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter
or a person, don't be surprised if they learn
their lesson.

14. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready
to have it thrown around by somebody else.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it over and put it back in your pocket.

16. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

17. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn
by reading, the few who learn by observation,
and the rest of them have to pee on the electric
fence for themselves.

Sempers,

Roger

Having Been Raised On A Farm with Cows and Horses.
 

I've always appreciated the wisdom of Will Rogers. Another I liked was:
Why is common sense called common when it is so uncommon.

Never step in a cow chip while it is still steaming.


If you work with cows wear smooth sole boots, cause you
are bound to find a some bull.



Drifter, A good post.

Keith

Helpful Hints for Inexperienced Traveler;
 

* Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise
includes the phrase "Free Ammo"

* There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if
you have experience in jungle warfare.

* Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.

* Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.

* In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase
of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.

* Consider very carefully visiting a country where the license plate
motto is "Die American Pig"

Sempers,

Roger

I especially like #11

The 13 Rules of Life

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the
tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I
apologize" and "You are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat
crow while it's still warm.

6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go!
You might meet somebody!"

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter one year
from now? How about one month? One week? One day?'

9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a
bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it's not that important.

13. And finally... Be really nice to your friends and family. You never
know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.