Women drivers and why to avoid them
 

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass everyday.
Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Flip one off? ...... I think not!!

I had a women driver pull out into the dirt road today in my lane in front of me as I was approaching the Stop sign she had been parked at. The middle of the road was a mud bog courtesy of TS Tammy so the lady wouldn't drive on her side of the road nor did she have the sense to wait at the Stop sign at the side road she pulled out of and she stopped right in my Lane and made me drive thru the mud bog to avoid getting her little red car muddy. Well my rear tires on my Pick up truck when the gas peddle is floored driving thru a mud bog will splatter everything beside or behind me I hope she got the idea I didn't like to drive thru mud bogs either and be made to drive around idiots parked in my Lane when they had the option to stay where they were and just let me pass in MY lane before proceeding down the Georgia dirt road to my home. When I got home I told my wife if I ever see that ladies car stuck in the mud or disabled by the side of the rode I WILL drive by and wave :ag:

I was driving down Rt. 2 here in MA, approaching an on-ramp where a woman driver, talkin on her cellphone(!) was rapidly approaching the yield sign which she ignored. I appraised the situation and, knowing that I had the right of way and was hemmed in by traffic anyway, waited until she was right next to me (she still hadn't bothered to look around and make any proper decisions), then leaned on the horn. It startled her so much, she screamed and dropped her phone on the road, shattering it, but she didn't loose control of the car. I drove away thinking she had learned a valuable lesson...and wondering what the person on the other end of the call was thinking.

I have to
 

agree. I drive 52 miles round trip each day, at the minimum, and the vast majority of drivers with sub-standard skills are women talking on the cell phone, where's a cop when you need 'em ?? :d:

The insurance industry would disagree with y'all.

Nonetheless, I wish I had my Georgia plates back, so as to forewarn folks that I ain't from around here.
(They have separate plates for tourists in several countries I've visited.)

Teach your daughters well... I'm teaching my fairy goddaughter to ride a motorcycle, i.e. be careful of all motorists with four wheels.

Drive safely,
Grace of the South

Yep, women are aggravating....but I just can't help but like em anyway!!??
 

Yes, I have seen some women do dumbass things in vehicles. However, the worst two things I've seen on the road were MEN!
At least that's what they looked like, coulda been real ugly women...
One jerk was working a crossword puzzle on the steering wheel!!
The other nut was talking on TWO cellphones, one in each hand!!
Course, there was this one lady driving down the road shaking the crap outta her baby!! With both hands! What could she be using to drive? And what was she trying to shake out of the baby?? Go figure..........maybe he ate the cell phone!

I stopped a woman for driving stupid
I gave her ticket
She gave me a rash of $hit
I told her, her license was false and fictitious.
She asked why
I told her the weight was 130 and she was at least 180 (A polite way of calling her a fat ass)
She called internal affairs
Sometimes ya just can't win
Bob K

That was a good one Bob. You must be a lawman. Got 3 of those riding with us. Dang good to have around when someone trys to start some crap in a bar, local law will always (allmost) side with another lawman. Course the best reason to have them around is they are Brothers, Nam Vets, and just plain good people.
If I'm right, thank you for your service at home also.

Back when I was in college, I took a Traffic Engineering course. The professor, who was a registered professional engineer with lots of real world experience, told us that when you're stuck behind slow moving traffic and you're cussing women drivers, don't jump to conclussions until you get to the problem driver.

Chances are it is just a little old man in a hat.

He swore that when is driving skills deteriorated, he would never drive wearing a hat. ;)

Less than a week after this lecture, I was driving down a 4 lane arterial (2 each way) with 2 cars side by side going 10 miles an hour below the speed limit. When one slowed down enough for me to get between, I got a good look at both drivers.

Both were little old men wearing hats. :ek:

Joy

Poncho
Doing it for 29 years and I still think you should make to Ellijay next week......Plenty of beer and food. just bring your sleeping bag
Bob K