The Hooker and the Sailor
 

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

She said, "He was a big muscular and handsome sailor".

"What did he want to do?" They all asked.

She said, "I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn't have that much. So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much either. Finally I said, well how much do you have?"

The sailor said that he only had $25.

The new hooker said, "For $25 all I can do is service you by hand."

He agreed and after getting the finance straight, she said, "He pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand."

"Oh my god" they all exclaimed, it must have been huge, then what did you do?"

"I loaned him $75!" she said.


Enjoy. I found it to be funny.

Raggedy Ann

RA....your a hoot! Where do you come up with this stuff! I think you messed up the joke though. It must have been Paratrooper, not sailor. The sailor would have been looking for a guy they call Sally. "We have a cook, and we got a galley. And we have a Sailor, that we call Sally. Men, men, men, men." (Monty Python)

Colon

Pack...
 

Now, now, now, Pack. Lets be: "Fair" to all: "Anchor Crankers".
Not all in Navy like that.

My married godson's been one for quite some time, and I've no
doubt whatsoever that when he leaves wife for his usual 6 month
cruise wherever,...doesn't leave home without wisely bringing
along his Soap On a Rope.

Hey,...you never know? :D :D :D

Neil

Truth be known, the reason for the thirteen button flap on Navy dress blues with dual side access is to accommodate two (2) never benders. :ek:

The size given seems rather small but maybe the person reporting was myopic or taken back in a state of shock and awe. And the bit about a 'Sally', well, envy is a terrible thing and often results in unfounded OD tinted allegations that are simply used as a diversionary tactic.
Reportedly, this particular malaise manifests in an insatiable desire to jump out of airplanes or ride horses, and nobody knows why. :re: :zzz:

So many women-so little time, Scamp

YAAAH, what do you do with a drunken sailor,
What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning?

AAAH, Put him in bed with the General's Daughter,
Put him in bed with the General's Daughter,
Put him in bed with the General's Daugher, early in the morning!

Call em, dirty. Call them mad. Call them all the sailors Had.
Call them the gals on Post when the Army's gone a marching!

While he's marching overseas, his girl's in bed with me!

I think the sailors duth protest too much.

Colon

Naah, a bitch'n Sailor is a Happy Sailor!

I guess that's why so many guys join the Navy...because of all the "sea-men"!

Anchors away, Sparrow hawk, a happy sailor is a griping sailor. RA wish I had a the same problem as that sailor, never had a woman lend me $75.00.

Tiz ?Seaperson? these days and sweepers don?t ?man? their brooms anymore, brooms are personed. ?Hatch dog? is a judgmental term to be absolutely avoided and let us not even go near the term ?Jack O? the dust? or ?Bolin on a byte? or Marlin Spike or Monkey Fist or Bow Hook or the real bad one ?Sideboys?.

Ay yi-yi n? aarrgg, one could get keel hauled for such language. And the terms like Boatswains Mate or Gunners Mate, etc., have entirely new meaning now and suggests that being a Gunner or Boatsn? may have some new perks alongside.

In the age of fighting sail n? oak ships a youngin born on the gun decks, was a ?Son of a Gun? and that was a usual occurrence whilst in port. Maybe there is a back to the future experience happining.

Scamp