joke : ouch that hurt !
 

Ouch, That hurt!

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The
first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed
directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his
hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll
around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow."

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few
minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently
took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants,and
she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How
does that feel?"

To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like
hell."

Speaking of hurt.
Oly (of Sven and Oly fame) was cutting down a tree in his yard. The tree fell not according to plan and a branch caught Oly's leg and broke it.
Luckily, Oly had his cell phone in his pocket and called 911.
He told the operator he was injured and needed help. The operator asked for his location and Oly replied "I'm on the corner of Eucalyptus and Rhododendron".
"Would you spell that please"?, the operator asked.
After a long pause Oly replied, "How 'bout I crawl down to Oak and Elm"?