An elderly woman was standing on the deck of a cruise ship, hanging onto her hat in the high wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Excuse me, ma'am, I don't wish to be forward, but your dress is flying up in this heavy wind."
"I know," says the old woman, "but I need both hands to hang onto my hat."
"But surely you must realize," says the man, "your privates are exposed!"
"Sonny," says the woman,"anything you see is 85 years old - I just bought this hat yesterday!"
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