[MORTARDUDE]

Things Not To Say to Police Officers:

1. Are you Andy or Barney?

2. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

3. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.

4. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

5. I pay your salary!

6. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

7. Hey, you must've been doing' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

8. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.


11. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"