A Simplistic Guide to Religious Doctorine
Taoism: Shit Happens!
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens!"
Buddhism: It is only an illusion that shit happens.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Jehova'sWitness: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens!"
Atheism: There is no such thing as shit.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, and maybe not.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen.
Rastafarianism: Smoke that shit!
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I'd rather be historically accurate than politically correct.
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