"RETIREMENT BONUS"
If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight
line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what
those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the
top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to
be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief
who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the
tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man
that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the
previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and
they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the
Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape
measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam"
