[SEATJERKER]

...and I was a "FRESHMEN" in highschool, which just happened to be a "private Cathlic military Highschool" which offered a JROTC program as I was an aspiring service person to be...
...I was about 8 weeks into school, and being the bad boy that I was, (cause I started smoking unfortuntly when I was seven), I had a zippo cause matches sucked, and Bic's were not invented yet, and the day started off like any other until I went to use it, and it went dry, and you all know when they run dry, there dry...
...still there is two + parts to the story, first is I fill it up juuuusssst a little tooo much, and 2nd is going to my locker first thing in the morning to prepare for morning inspection realizing that my"brass" needs a little shine, only to realize that one of my buddies pinched my brass polish out of my locker, and don't I FAIL my first inspection, so I'm pissed at the demerits, and having to stay after school to march them off at 15 min per demerit...
...so first period ends, and I go back to my locker, and "poof" my brass polish reappears, so I'm miffed that I failed insp, and now my polish magicly reappears, and off to Bio class I go, I grab a "wad", and proceed to polish my buckle while sitting there listening to "MR RAZOLT"(straight out of RPI with no experience at all, wore the same black suit with yellow socks for the first 10 weeks of school NEVER changing anything)...ZIPPO, yes getting to it....
... now the brass is polished, and throw the wad in the two person chem desks that we had, and now have this little burning around my watch pocket cause I filled the zippo up a tiny wee bit too much.... SOOOOOOO It was cool, Razolt was a dork, blah, blahing at the chalkboard, I"m just gonna sit here, and "burn" a little bit off as to lower the level of the fluid, and things were going great until all of a sudden, he deceides to take his first stroll around the class in ten weeks... not wanting to "snap" the lid closed, I blow it out, and "whew" safe at last,opps here he comes, so I toss it into the desk easy, and thinking it's ok...
...heres where part 1, and 2 collide... doesn't it "light" as I toss it in the desk, and it "touches off" the brass polish, I see little wisps of smoke coming out of my desk, and I'm shitting bricks, I slam my palm on the smoldering brass polish inside the desk, and muffle my wanting to scream (it hurt as it was burning), ahh it's cooling off, ahhhhhh, it's out, I'm safe, shit my hand hurts, blow away any remaining smoke quick.....
..."DOES THE TERM SPONTANIOUS COMBUSTION MEANING ANYTHING TO YOU"... not 30 seconds after it was out, it wasn't again, and now I got to try to put it out with my left hand now, and the smell is getting more noticable, doesn't my buddy in the side seat yell "fire" just as the "dean of disipline" is looking through the little window in the front door of the class, Razolt drags me out of the chair, and my buddy is shoving more paper in the desk, everyone one is laughing(cept me), and Brother CELCIUS proceeds to remove me from my surroundins' to a more formiable place to beat my ass...
...lesson numero uno,
...ZIPPO'S, AND BRASS POLISH DO NOT MIX.........