[janecallanan]

I pray: three soldiers
watch over me
as I descend the black gash.
In this crowded place
I am alone.

Each panel
reflects a time
of pain
of anger
of hopelessness ...I wonder if I will see light again
of lonliness or descend for eternity.
of betrayal.
Rushing memories
fill my ears
I hear no one else. ...hostile ground fire
The thousands walking by,
the mourners
the spectators
the bewildered,
are the ghosts.
I am so afraid.

Two panels away
I try to make deals ...too late
with God ...too late
to let us trade places,
to see my name ...oh, please, if you would only live
instead of yours. ...too late...

One panel away
I am alone ...wailing, afraid
After 25 years of knowing
what is true ...I hope for
I don't want a lie...
to come to this point in eternity.
I don't want
this to be our history. ...I am alone.

Your name is there.

I reach to the wall
to cover it ...erase it
and am drawn inside. ...your name
Your name is the safe place
for me to leave ...don't leave me
the betrayal ...regrets to inform you...
the lonliness ...an enemy missile...
the hopelessness ...to the head...
the anger ...oh Michael, NO...
the pain. ...not your beautiful face...
It adds to the weight
of the Granite.

The hole in my soul ...missiled through
is replaced by a simple black gash.
Peace flows within and without.
I am proud
In a world that still whispers
"Viet Nam".
I feel pride in the name
that I honor this day. ...and always
I am proud of the descent that I made
alone ...turn around, bright eyes.
and I ascend into light and life
in the company of thousands.

I love you Mike.
Your sister,
Jane


For Mike, for All who made it. For all who didn't. My love and devotion.