Our HILARIOUS HEROES: THEM U.S. MARINES!

[thedrifter]

Our HILARIOUS HEROES: THEM U.S. MARINES!
>
> by CMDR. WILLIAM J. LEDERER, USN
>
> Cocky, tough, and unpredictable, they're
> professional soldiers-and proud of it!
>
> EVERYONE ASKS, "How the heck
> do the Marines get that way?
> What is it that makes them such
> good troops?"
>
> I tried to find the answer in mili-
> tary textbooks. No luck there. So I
> went into the field and started ask-
> ing around.
>
> When the 1st Provisional Marine
> Brigade was getting ready to em-
> bark for Korea, I put the question
> bluntly to a group of them in front
> of a recruiting station. "Hey, how
> come you guys've got such a good
> reputation?"
>
> The veterans in the crowd didn't
> answer. But a beardless kid without
> any ribbons spoke up. "Mister," he
> said crisply, "we're respected be-
> cause we're professionals."
>
> "What do you mean?"
>
> "I'll show you," he said, leading
> me inside.
>
> On the Army bulletin board
> hung a clipping from a recent mag-
> azine, "Join the New U. S. Army
> and Be Treated Like a Gentleman."
>
> "So?" I asked. "What's that got
> to do with the Marines?"
>
> The kid winked and dragged me
> to the Navy section. Here a poster
> showed a destroyer cutting the
> waves. It said: "Join the Navy and
> See the World."
>
> Next he took me to an Air Force
> recruiting ad. A handsome aviator
> with gleaming medals smiled from
> the wall. The caption said some-
> thing about joining the Air Force
> for a career and promotion.
>
> "Now," said the young Marine,
> "look at our poster."
>
> At the Marine office there hung
> no printed matter at all. But there
> was a crudely painted picture of a
> red, hairy, doubled-up fist. Under
> it were splattered these words:
>
> "You're not good enough to be a
> Marine!"
>
> "See?" said the fuzzy-faced pri-
> vate. "We don't fool around with
> mama's boys or kids who need
> their noses wiped or guys looking
> for a home or a cheap vacation.
> The Marines are professional fight-
> ers. If the recruit can't 'take it and
> dish it out,' he isn't going to make
> the grade."
>
> I've heard this talk of "being
> pros" on posts all over the world.
> And the longer a Marine stays in
> service, the more firmly he seems to
> believe that either you're a pro-
> fessional fighter or a dead one.
> There's no place for amateurs.
>
> After World War II, the Marines-
> came into the debate about how-
> Germany should be occupied. Duty
> in a conquered country offers many
> temptations to troops; the unsettled
> conditions often taint men and
> make them soft.
>
> John McCloy suggested to Con-
> gressman Vinson that it might be a
> good idea to expand the Marines
> and have them act as occupation
> troops. Vinson, in turn, sent for
> General Vandegrift, then comman-
> dant of the Marine Corps.
>
> "Well, General," said Congress-
> man Vinson, explaining the propo-
> sition, "how would the Corps like
> to be expanded to 750,000 men?"
>
> "Sir," replied the General, "that's
> impossible."
>
> "Oh, I believe Congress would
> enact the legislation."
>
> "But, sir," said General Vande-
> grift, "that has nothing to do with
> it. There aren't 750,000 men in the
> United States who are good enough
> to be Marines!"
>
> The Marines don't advertise how
> unique is their breed, or how tough
> and well-trained they are. Still,
> they have an uncanny way of dem-
> onstrating it to anyone who may
> have doubts.
>
> In Korea, some British Com-
> mandos, who aren't exactly sissies,
> joined up with the Marines. There
> had been a lot of talk about which
> group was the most rugged.
>
> One night, two Commandos and
> two Marines were isolated in a fox-
> hole forward of the main lines. At
> dawn one Commando said: "We're
> surrounded by a couple of hundred
> enemy in the hills. Are you blokes
> ready to attack?"
>
> The other Commando replied,
> "I'm ready, matey, but what about
> these Yankee Marines? Think they
> can keep up the pace?"
>
> One of the Marines stuck his
> head out of the foxhole to look
> around. An enemy bullet at the
> end of its trajectory landed in his
> mouth, knocking out two teeth.
>
> "Blimey!" said a Commando,
> "you caught it with your teeth!"
>
> The Marine casually removed
> the bullet from his mouth. "I don't
> make a practice of it," he said,
> "but it's a quick way of estimating
> range. The gooks are about 500
> yards off. Let's wait till they get
> closer before attacking. Then we
> can use bayonets."
The other Marine looked disgust-
> ed. "You clumsy dope," he growled,
> "if you'd rolled with it like they
> taught us at Parris Island, you
> wouldn't have lost those teeth."
>
> When I was in Pusan, I asked a
> Marine major, "Why are the Ma-
> rines so good?"
>
> "We get along okay," he replied,
> "because we've got discipline."
>
> "What do you mean, discipline?"
>
> "Well," he said," there's the apoc-
> ryphal story of the Marine lieu-
> tenant who operates a rest camp. A
> company of battle-weary Marines a
> came down from up north for a
> couple of days of relaxing.
>
> "That night, about 2 A.M., it was
> cold, and the lieutenant sat in his
> jeep smoking and just keeping his
> eyes on things. Suddenly he was
> startled by a woman's scream. A
> girl with no clothes on ran from
> one of the houses with a Marine in
> pursuit. He wasn't in full uniform.
>
> "The girl raced past the jeep.
> The Marine was gaining on her,
> but when he reached the lieuten-
> ant's jeep, he stopped and saluted.
>
> "That," said the major, "is dis-
> cipline."
>
> When I stopped laughing, I said,
> "What did the lieutenant do?"
>
> "Do?" said the Major, surprised.
> "I don't know. But my guess is he
> did what any self-respecting officer
> would do. He returned the salute
> and said, 'Hey, Marine, that babe's
> got a head start on you. You better
> take the jeep!' "
>
> IN SPITE OF their hilarious antics,
> the Marines sometimes try to give
> the impression of being a mousy lit-
> tle outfit, devoid of color and famous
> "characters."
>
> One of their greats was Gunnery
> Sergeant Dan Daly. As an enlisted
> man he won two Medals of Honor,
> the Navy Cross, the Distinguished
> Service Cross, and three French
> decorations. And all these while he
> was still alive!
Daly was the firebrand who led
> his platoon into a hazardous posi-
> tion in Belleau Wood, shouting,
> "C'mon, you SOBs! Do you want
> to live forever!"
>
> This battle cry became known all
> over the world, and when Daly ar-
> rived in Paris the press besieged
> him with interviews. "How," asked
> a reporter, "did you think up your
> wonderful command?"
>
> "What command?" said Daly.
>
> "C'mon, you SOBs! Do you want
> to live forever!"
>
> Daly's face lighted with what is
> known as baby-faced disdain. Then
> very earnestly he said: "Do you
> think that a Marine noncommis-
> sioned officer would use such bad
> language to the men under him?
> What I really said was, 'For good-
> ness sake, you chaps, let us advance
> against the foe!' "
>
> Being an organization of indi-
> vidualists, the Marines have an in-
> ternal loyalty unknown to other
> normal units. But loyalty is some-
> thing they never discuss. In fact,
> Marines speak of other Marines in
> terms of cynical contempt.
I heard two sergeants discussing
> a colonel who was on the staff of
> the Secretary of the Navy.
>
> "Him?" said one of the sergeants
> upon hearing the colonel's name.
> "I know that slopehead."
>
> "Yeh?"
>
> "We were at Peleliu together."
>
> "What'd he do?"
>
> "Oh, the joker got the idea that
> a wounded guy laying in front of a
> Nip cave should be rescued. And
> the dumb buzzard felt that he was
> the only guy in the outfit to do the
> job. They just don't come any stu-
> pider than the colonel."
>
> "What happened?"
>
> "The knucklehead runs out to
> rescue the wounded guy. About ev-
> ery Jap in the island was shooting
> at him. But he made it by luck.
> After dark he dragged me back."
> "It was you he rescued?"
> "Yeh, the dumb cluck!"
The one thing all Marines accept
> is that their only function is to fight
> for the United States and the Ma-
> rine Corps. Even the lady Marines
> catch the spirit. (Don't mention
> "lady Marine" to their face. "Don't
> call me that," one told me. "I'm
> just a plain ornery Marine!")
>
> After the normal indoctrination,
> a group of Marines (female) were
> sent out to watch combat troops in
> maneuvers. After this, one of the
> Leathernecks (female) was handed
> a flame thrower. She strapped it on
> and let loose an arc of flame. Then
> she said, "Isn't there any place on
> this gadget to fix a bayonet?"
>
> MARINE OFFICERS generally are re-
> garded as guys who have had
> more experience and know more
> soldiering than enlisted men. As of
> this day, 87.5 per cent of the officers
> on active duty in the Corps have
> served as enlisted men.
The Marine brass doesn't go in
> for quickie inspections of the front
> lines-with a photographer along
> for home consumption. They're up
> there all the time, with the combat
> troops. For instance, way back in
> 1836, when the Marines were or-
> dered to active duty along the Flor-
> ida-Georgia border, the comman-
> dant, Colonel Henderson, went out
> to take personal charge of his troops.
> Before he left he tacked a sign on
> the door of his Washington office:
>
> "Gone to Florida to fight the Indians.
> Will be back when the war is over"
>
> When Congressmen Hugh Scott
> and Henry Latham went with the
> Marines at the Naktong Bulge front,
> they found the commanding officer,
> Brig. Gen. Edward A. Craig, sleep-
> ing on the ground and eating ex-
> actly the same food as his men.
>
> "Have you a headquarters with
> a bunk and mess table and order-
> lies?" asked the congressmen.
>
> General Craig said: "When the
> rest of the Marine troops get bunks
> and tables, then we'll think about
> giving them to the officers too."
>
> When I visited the Marines at
> Quantico, I saw a magnificent red-
> brick building and wondered what
> it was. It was lush, with beautiful
> hardwood floors, lovely murals, a
> fine band and bar. Marines sat
> about drinking beer with some of
> the best-looking and best-dressed
> girls I had seen for some time.
>
> I thought, "What are enlisted
> men doing in the Officers' Club?"
>
> A Leatherneck approached me.
> "I beg your pardon, sir, this club is
> for privates and noncoms only"
>
> "Hey!" I said, "I just heard that
> funds for enlisted recreational pro-
> jects were being reduced. How did
> you Marines wangle Congress out
> of the appropriations for this club?
> It must have cost $200,000."
>
> "Wangle Congress out of it, my
> foot!" he said. "We raised the
> money and built it ourselves."
>
> I asked: "Is it legal to build pri-
> vate buildings of this nature on gov-
> ernment reservations?"
>
> He replied: "In the Marine
> Corps, anything which improves the
> fighting qualities and morale of the
> Corps is legitimate."
>
> A FIGHTING MAN must use extreme
> initiative to get along. If the
> idea appears too radical you test it
> by(l) Will it help win battles? (2)
> Will it help the Corps' morale and
> efficiency?
>
> The story goes that in Korea a
> company of Marines was tempo-
> rarily assigned to the Army Quar-
> termaster Corps. The Leathernecks
> were griping because they didn't
> like Army food and they didn't like
> the idea of carrying stores. They
> wanted to go to the front.
>
> One day a carton they were car-
> rying broke open. Onto the ground
> spilled certain pieces of clothing
> equipment assigned to a Philippine
> Army general.
>
> The Leathernecks had an idea.
> They debated whether or not it
> would help win battles or improve
> Marine morale and efficiency. They
> decided that it would come under
> the latter. They dressed one of their
> South Korean helpers in the uni-
> form of a Philippine Army general
> and named him General Gonzales.
>
> Taking him over to the Army
> Quartermaster depot, the Marines
> told the Army that the Filippino
> general, who came from Zambo-
> anga and spoke Chabacano, was
> observing the Marines, and that he
> desired a jeep of his own and a
> flag officer's mess.
>
> The Marines enjoyed their "gen-
> eral's" food for about a week. Then
> a note came from the Army. "Lieu-
> tenant General -------, USA,
> will visit here in a couple of days.
> He has spent many years in Zam-
> boanga and speaks Chabacano. He
> would enjoy very much having
> lunch with General Gonzales."
>
> General Gonzales suddenly de-
> cided it was time to observe the
> Marines at the front.
>
> Because of their continued suc-
> cess in battle and out, the Leather-
> necks have developed a self-confi-
> dence which sometimes is offensive
> to other units of the service.
>
> A social-relations professor, try-
> ing an experiment in morale for the
> Navy, asked permission to inter-
> view some Marines. His first con-
> tact was a rifleman who had just
> come off watch as a sentry.
> "I'd like to ask you a question,"
> said the professor, "about Marine
> officers."
>
> "Be happy to help you, sir."
>
> "Suppose a Marine officer gave
> you an order, and then left the im-
> mediate area. Later, the officer real-
> ized he had made a mistake. He had
> given you a wrong order. What
> would most Marine officers do in
> such a case? Would they sav noth-
> ing and let you carry out a wrong
> order-or would they come back
> and admit to an enlisted man that
> they had made a mistake?"
>
> "Sir," replied the private, "what
> you asked me is what we call a hy-
> pothetical question."
>
> "How so?" said the professor,
> whipping out his notebook.
>
> "Well, sir, no Marine officer ever
> makes a mistake!"
>
> Which is like the time an Army
> three-star general was making a
> courtesy inspection of a Marine ar-
> tillery battery in Korea. Inspecting
> down the ranks, he found a USMC
> private who was a shell passer.
>
> "Private," the general said, "sup-
> pose you were in a cold climate and
> the hydraulic-recoil mechanism on
> your howitzer froze. How would
> you fire the piece?"
>
> "Why, General, sir, a Marine
> would never let his equipment
> freeze. That's impossible."
>
> "But suppose you were way north
> and it did freeze. How would you
> then fire your weapon?"
>
> "General," said the private, shak-
> ing his head, "you just don't under-
> stand Marines. That mechanism
> wouldn't dare freeze! Unless all of
> us was dead first."
During the breakout from the
> freezing Changjin Reservoir area in
> Korea, the Marines were in a moun-
> tainous terrain totally devoid of air-
> strips. They knew that if the badly
> wounded didn't get air evacuation,
> they might not get out at all. Mili-
> tary experts were pessimistic. They
> perhaps didn't recognize that all
> Marine aviators, enlisted and offi-
> cers alike, in tactical units must
> qualify in carrier-deck landings.
>
> The Leathernecks found a small
> piece of stony ground about the size
> of a couple of tennis courts. "If we
> can land on a flattop, we can land,
> on that," they decided.
>
> A carrier flight-officer got down
> there with his flags and wigwagged
> the Marine planes to their landings.
> As many as ten wounded men were
> crammed in a torpedo bomber. The
> plane's wings were held until the
> props had revved up, and then re-
> leased for high-speed take-off-
> carrying the wounded to safety.
>
> A newspaperman said that it was
> a heroic performance.
>
> "Nuts!" said a Marine. "It was
> routine. The only guy who really
> was on the ball was O'Malley. He
> flew in eight five-gallon gasoline
> cans in the back of his plane."
>
> "You needed gas on the march?"
>
> "And how! That was the best
> drinking gasoline we ever tasted."
>
> A TENET of the Leathernecks is
> that they are prepared for any
> emergencies and must always prac-
> tice for them.
>
> During the peacetime years, there
> was a Marine general who had put
> on too much weight. So he took up
> riding. He would drive his car from
> his quarters to the stables which
> were outside the post. There he
> changed to riding clothes, got on
> the horse, and cantered back to his
> quarters. After a drink he rode back
> to the stables, showered, and then
> came home by auto.
>
> One afternoon as he rode into
> the post, a Marine private, with his
> carbine set at the ready position,
> stepped out from behind a hedge.
>
> "Dismount, advance, and be rec-
> ognized!" he ordered.
>
> The general smiled. "I'm Gen-
> eral -------."
The sentry cocked his rifle. "Dis-
> mount, advance, and be recog-
> nized!" he repeated.
> The general stopped smiling and
> dismounted.
> "Show your identification card!"
> said the sentry.
> The general didn't have it. It was
> back at the stables.
>
> "Then you can't enter here!"
>
> The general didn't argue; he
> mounted his horse and returned to
> the stable. Picking up his card, he
> rode back to the same entrance.
> Once more the sentry stepped from
> behind the bush.
> "Dismount, advance, and be rec-
> ognized!"
>
> Again the general dismounted,
> advanced, respectfully displayed his
> identification card.
> "Proceed in, sir."
> The general entered the post.
> Then he reined in the horse.
> "Sentry."
> "Yes, sir."
> "This is peacetime. Who gave
> you orders to challenge everyone
> coming through this gate?"
>
> "No one, sir. I was just practic-
> ing. My sergeant says that's the only
> way to become a professional."
>
> That word professional comes up
> all the time. The Leathernecks op-
> erate like a ball club-doing every-
> thing neatly and taking advantage
> of all breaks.
>
> A Corps news release tells of a
> company of Marines which had lost
> its light machine gun to the Korean
> Reds in a night raid.
>
> "Let's get it back," a squad lead-
> er told his men. They moved out
> with the sergeant, away from the
> defense perimeter, soon sighted 25
> Reds lugging the weapon along.
>
> "I'll throw a grenade," volun-
> teered one rifleman.
>
> "No, you might damage the
> gun!" replied the sergeant. "Pick
> 'em off with your rifles."
>
> Wherever you see Marines, you
> see professionals taking care of
> themselves. Another story about
> them goes like this:
An isolated company was sur-
> rounded by Reds in the mountains
> close to Koto-Ri. Marine planes
> dropped them supplies. One of the
> drops, containing most of the food
> for the company, was caught in an
> air current just as the parachutes
> opened, and the drop crew could do
> nothing but gaze sorrowfully back
> as the packets dropped into com-
> munist-held territory
>
> Next day the drop crew met one
> of the riflemen who had broken
> through. "Jees, we were sorry to
> see that food drop go over into the
> Red lines," the sergeant apologized
> to the grizzled front-line veteran
> who was all of 23 years. "I suppose
> you went hungry last night."
>
> "We did like hell! The company
> commander broke us out of our
> holes and made us capture that Sec-
> tor so we could get the chow back...
> We all ate!"
>
> That's the way the Leathernecks
> operate. You can't explain them.
> But from the Marine concoction of
> self-ridicule, horseplay, pride, and
> fierce training comes the old Ma-
> rine magic. It has a unique glow
> to it, a quality which is lyrical and
> intangible. The Leathernecks call
> it esprit de corps.
>
> Marines somehow usually man-
> age to win. When the Panama Ca-
> nal was opened, the ships of the
> U. S. Fleet were lined up to be the
> first vessels to steam through the
> world's newest wonder.
>
> As the fleet entered the channel,
> it was learned that two Marines had
> started earlier that day and already
> had paddled the length of the canal
> in a dugout.
>
> Although the Leathernecks won't
> breathe a word about it in public,
> they give the impression that in per-
> formance a Marine rifleman is the
> most effective military man alive-
> fully equal to a Navy lieutenant, an
> Army major, or an Air Force colo-
> nel. In other words, the Marine
> rifleman is somewhat like a king. It
> is he who gets the honors and the
> privileges. The officers feel the same
> way about it. Col. Sam Moore, a
> Marine aviator, described himself
> as "a rifleman who at present is fly-
> ing a plane."
>
> The old Marine witchery has
> been boiling for almost 200 years of
> United States history. The Marines
> accept it as normal procedure. It's
> like the sergeant who won a Medal
> of Honor in the Pacific for single-
> handedly holding back a Japanese
> attack all night.
>
> "Hell's fire!" he said, "if I had
> been on the ball and hadn't lost
> my pistol in the lagoon, I'd have
> brought back the whole damn com-
> pany of them Japs as prisoners.
>
> "The colonel must be crazy rec-
> ommending me for a Medal of
> Honor. The dumb knucklehead
> should have court-martialed me for
> losing my equipment!"


Sempers,

Roger