Teachings From Mom

[HARDCORE]

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:

"If you're going to fight with each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"


RELIGION:

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."


TIME TRAVEL:

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"


LOGIC:

"Because I said so, that's why."


FORESIGHT:

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."


IRONY:

"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."


The science of OSMOSIS:

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"


CONTORTIONISM:

"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"


STAMINA:

"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."


WEATHER:

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."


How to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"


HYPOCRISY:

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"


THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:

"Stop acting like your father!"


ENVY:

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"