Extreme redneck

[darrels joy]

Extreme redneck









You're an EXTREME redneck if.....


1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.


2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.


3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

[Jerry D]

We have three fridges one in the House, one in the Barn, and one in the Laundry Shed. I resembled that remark (LOL)

[revwardoc]

I sent it down to my in-laws in NC. They'll probably say, "So what's yer p'int!?"

[Seascamp]

I actually met one of those folks whilst living in eastern Tennessee. Where I lived was not far from where the KKK was founded and where the monkey-Stokes trial was held; eastern Tennessee hill country. Anyway, they are a real hoot, mostly friendly and good folks once they let ya know them a bit. The fellow I knew goes by the name of A.D., loved them old trucks, cooked some mash, has some dogs that were always in the back of the 50?s vintage GMC that ran Maypop tires. His ball cap read, ?Talk to me about Jesus?. He has a bunch of kiddos and his Mrs. wouldn?t exactly qualify to be on the cover page of Vogue, but has pure heart of gold and is a fantastic Mom. Oh, AD is the lead operator of a very complex chemical process that converts coal to the base material used for manufacturing cosmetics like lipstick and he has a Degree in Chemical Engineering. Given that experience; I?d say that sometimes there is lifestyle choice and not necessarily happenstance. Plus AD enriched my vocabulary immensely. Tennessee hill language is a bit different but really funny once a person tunes in to what is being said.

Scamp

[Arrow]

Thanks for that great story about your friend A.D. Scamp!

The moniker "redneck" was first used to earmark the roughhewn Scots-Irish Presbyterians as early as 1830 in North Carolina and had its roots in the north of Britain long before that. Similarly the term "cracker" was used pejoratively by the English upper classes even before the Revolution in referring to the "lawless set of rascals on the frontiers of Virgina, Maryland, the Carolinas and Georgia. The difference between this culture and most others is that it's members don't particularly care what others think of them. To them, the joke has always been on those who utter the insult. As a country song happily puts it, "It's alright to be a redneck." page 181 Born Fighting How The Scots - Irish Shaped America by James Webb

Not long ago during a debate in which Native Americans were denouncing the Washington Redskins for the supposed demeaning nature of their team name,a listener from West Virgina called into a local radio station. "Screw this," he said. "Let's call them the Washington Rednecks and we'll ALL come to the games." page 182 Born Fighting How The Scots - Irish Shaped America by James Webb

[Arrow]

"Country Boy Can Survive"

The preacher man says its the end of time
And the Mississippi River shes a goin dry
The interest is up and the stock markets down
And you only get mugged if you go down town
I live back in the woods you see
My woman and the kids and the dogs and me
I got a shotgun a rifle and a four wheel drive
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
I can plow a field all day long
I can catch catfish from dusk till dawn
We make our own whiskey and our own smoke too
Ain't too many things these ole boys can't do
We grow good ole tomatoes and homemade wine
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive

[Chorus]
Because you can't starve us out and you can't make us run
Causewe're them ole boys raised on shotguns
We say grace and we say ma'am
If you ain't into that we don't give a damn

[Verse]
We came from the West Virginia coal mines
And the Rocky Mountains and the Western Skies
And we can skin a buck we can run a trot line
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
I had a good friend in New York City
He never called me by my name just HillBilly
My GrandPa taught me to live off the land
And his taught him to be a business man
He used to send me pictures of the Broadway Night
And I'd send him some homemade wine
But he was killed by a man with a switch blade knife
For forty three dollars my friend lost his life
I'd love to spit some Beechnut in that dudes eye
And shoot em' with my ole 45
Cause a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive

[Chorus]
Because you can't starve us out and you can't make us run
Causewe're them ole boys raised on shotguns
We say grace and we say ma'am
If you ain't into that we don't give a damn


[Verse]
Were from North California and South Alabam
And little towns all around this land
And we can skin a buck and run a trot line
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
Country boy can survive
Country folks can survive

[Chorus]
Because you can't starve us out and you can't make us run
Causewe're them ole boys raised on shotguns
We say grace and we say ma'am
If you ain't into that we don't give a damn

[1CAVCCO15MED]

Ao musta worked at Tennessee Eastman. My next door neighbor is probably a millionaire several times over. When he goes to church he puts a suit jacket over his overalls. He collects knives, old tools, has about 40 antique John Deere tractors he has restored. He never tells a lie.

[darrels joy]

More than 100 cities in 21 states have now adopted military units through ?America Supporting Americans? and last night the Army thanked the organization?s founder, Linda Patterson.

Patterson was the honored guest at a Twilight Tattoo ceremony on the White House Ellipse and was later presented the Army Outstanding Civilian Service Award.

Patterson began the ASA program in 1967 by convincing the town of San Mateo, Calif., to adopt a company of the 101st Airborne Division serving in Vietnam. Members of the town sent letters and care packages to Soldiers of A Company, 1/327th Airborne Infantry.

Since then, ASA has helped other towns across the country adopt units in every conflict the Army has fought. Between wars, though, participation waned somewhat, Patterson said. But since the beginning of the Global War on Terror, the number of cities adopting units has tripled.

?We?re really moving,? said Patterson, adding that 20 cities in Kentucky have adopted units over the past four months.
http://www4.army.mil/ocpa/read.php?story_id_key=7446

[Seascamp]

Yes, AD works at Tennessee Eastman and was one of my customers there.

Scamp

[MORTARDUDE]

Scamp.....

I was able to verify 7 of those items forom folks i have known...LOL...West Tennessee is the redneck capital of Tennessee. East Tennessee was a bunch of Yankee sympathizers in the "The War of Northern Aggression", and rednecks here call those folks "hillbillies" ... LOL

P.S.

Found this list of names for the Civil War ....

http://www.civilwarhome.com/civilwarnames.htm


The conflict known to most of us as the Civil War has a long and checkered nomenclature. To this day some patriotic Southerners wince at the term, Civil War. These partisans usually favor The War Between the States-and some organizations of descendants of Confederate warriors use this term under their by-laws, and none other. The tide seems to stem from the two-volume work by Alexander Stephens, the Confederate Vice-President, published after the war.
Most of the names listed are of Southern origin, since the defeated and their heirs grasped for some expression of unquenched ardor and defiance which would do justice to the Old South. These names have been seriously, not to say apoplectically, offered to the world.
In more jocular vein the war has been known as The Late Unpleasantness, The Late Friction, The Late Ruction, The Schism, or The Uncivil War. But in the South in particular it is known simply as The War, as if the planet had not heard a shot fired in anger since '65.

Some samples:

The War for Constitutional Liberty
The War for Southern Independence
The Second American Revolution
The War for States' Rights
Mr. Lincoln's War
The Southern Rebellion
The War for Southern Rights
The War of the Southern Planters
The War of the Rebellion
The Second War for Independence
The War to Suppress Yankee Arrogance
The Brothers' War
The War of Secession
The Great Rebellion
The War for Nationality
The War for Southern Nationality
The War Against Slavery
The Civil War Between the States
The War of the Sixties
The War Against Northern Aggression
The Yankee Invasion
The War for Separation
The War for Abolition
The War for the Union
The Confederate War
The War of the Southrons
The War for Southern Freedom
The War of the North and South
The Lost Cause

Source: "Historical Times Encyclopedia of the Civil War" Edited by Patricia L. Faust

This Page last updated 07/18/04