Facelift

[St. Michael's]

This is really a funny joke!


A woman in her fifties went to a plastic surgeon for a
facelift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure
called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the
top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up
her skin to produce the effect of a brand new
facelift. Of course the woman wanted "The Knob"

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the
knob and the effects were wonderful The woman remained
young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon
with two problems.

"All of these years, everything has been working just
fine. I have turned the knob many times and have been
very pleased with the results. But now, I've developed
two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible
bags under my eyes and the knob won't g et rid of
them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those
aren't bags, those are your breasts."

She said , "Well, I guess there's no point in asking
about the goatee

[goodnessgracie]

ohmigod...

[goodnessgracie]

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around
the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum
speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other
residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky
Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a
firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in
her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he
said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped
out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proo f of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to
him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am." As Ethel neared the
final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and
holding his "You-Know- What" in his hand.

"Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!"

[St. Michael's]

That was HILARIOUS! I will definately share it with my friends. Thanks for the laugh.

[Jerry D]

Gracie that was a winner (LOL)

[frisco-kid]

St. Mike's: If she keeps tightening that thing, she'll be wondering why she's developed a cleft chin .

Good one, Gracie . How you been doin' ya crazy woman ? Sorry I missed ya at the campout this year, but I'll for sure be there next year.