Morning Humor

[SuperScout]

A teacher in Georgia asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly said, "My family went to my granddaddy's farm, and we saw all his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate". Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Well, that was good, Sally, but I want the word "fascinate".

Lil Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Lil' Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Lil' Johnny said, "My Auntie has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tittys be so big, she can only fasten eight."

[b3196]

Good one Brice

Same teacher, same lil Johnny.
Teachers asks the class to use the word "beautiful" in a sentence, and if they can use the word twice in the same sentence they get a piece of candy. Lil Johnny is waving his hand
so the teacher, calls on him. Lil Johnny stands up and says "My sister came home last night and told my parents she was pregnant and the only thing my father could say was beautiful phucking beautiful"

Bob K

[SuperScout]

There was a much-married woman who walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. "Well", replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type of dress are you looking for?" The bride to be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil." The sales clerk didn't know quite what to say but she finally said, "Frankly madam, gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time, for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean?" "Well" replied the customer, more than a little put out. "I can assure you that I am as innocent as the rest of them. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as any first time bride."

"You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into a terrible fight in the limo on our way to the reception and have not spoken since. We had that wedding annulled immediately." "What about your third husband?" asked the
sales clerk:. "Well" said the woman, "he was a Democrat and every night for four years he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be."

[b3196]

Lol Lol Lol
Bob K

[reeb]

Texas Billbaords:


http://www.watchersweb.com/funnyfarm/24225f.htm


let it play the whole thing.

[revwardoc]

Didja hear the other one about the woman who was married four times and still a virgin?

Her first husband was a gynecologist, and he just examined it.

Her second husband was a poet, and he just wrote about it.

Her third husband was a philosopher and he just thought about it.

Her fourth husband was a gourmet!

[b3196]

Women wanted a mink coat of which her husband said no.
She made a bet for a mink coat that she had more hair on her chest than he had on his. He agreed and opened up his shirt.
She lifted up her dress. He stated thats not your chest.
Of which she stated "Before we were married it was your hope chest, after we were married it was your tool chest and if I dont get that mink coat it will be the community chest


Bob K

[reeb]

R Doc.


Hum Hum Hum,

No Comment !!!!!!

enough...........

[Jerry D]

those were some good ones thanks guys

[SuperScout]

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ' The sky is falling, the sky is falling! '"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" Little Johnny quickly raisied his hand and replied, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.