religious conversion

[HARDCORE]

A protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So, when their neighbor began barbequeing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm.

They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they conviced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said:
You were born Protestant.
You were raised Protestant.
But now you are Catholic!

And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying:
You were born a cow.
You were raised a cow.
But now you are fish!

[revwardoc]

What kind of meat do priests eat on Friday? NUN!

[b3196]

Doc
I like it......It's really sick, but I like it
Bob K

[revwardoc]

Bob,

12 years of Catholic school discipline, and look how I turned out!

[b3196]

Doc
No $hit!!! Me too!!! I guess you just can't say enough good things about good ole parochial school education They taught me not to swear, Tell bad jokes, Marriage was sacred and you can only do it once....or was that twice.....maybe it was three times. Anyway I got em all covered. I think there was something about adultry, but I cant remember.
Bob K

[revwardoc]

Bob,

I have to admit, the education, while strict under the tutelage of "the good Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur", was very good but the discipline was right over the top! And I've still got the crucifixion scars to prove it!! Their motto was, "Spare the cat-o-nine-tails, spoil the child!"

Speaking of crucifixion; when I was a senior, we duct-taped a girl to a large cross that we carried in May Day processions and propped her up in front of the school, which is on Main Street. Cars would go by and honk at her and she'd smile and wave. She was a good sport and everyone thought it was pretty funny; except the Sisters. I guess if you never "get any" your entire life, you lose your sense of humor.

[b3196]

Doc
I still have scars on the knuckles from the ruler they smacked me with, along with a permanent dent on my nose where they stuck the gum I was chewing. Not to mention the numerous times I had to go into the parking lot for a pebble to kneel on. I feel sorry for the teachers today. They lost all contol over their students.
Bob K

[revwardoc]

Bob,

They used to make us roll up our pants and kneel on uncooked rice. I once got a 3-stitch cut on my head from a nun wacking me with one of those 18" 3-sided rulers (we called it her "war club")...and I was a Junior in high school! And we didn't dare complain about it to our parents, otherwise we'd get the same at home.

[QM3steve]

Now the kids have the 800# memorized. Call it for any little incident. The government spends too much time on seperating church and state and not enough on the discipline that is needed.

[HARDCORE]

Deja Vu -

Back between the mid 40s and mid 50s, I too was ensnared in the Parochial School System in Fall River, Massachusetts. Beatings were common place, and I was removed by my father from that system and placed in a public school after a nun slammed a yardstick across my face, just above the eye, requiring several stitches!

She did this because she said (erroneously) that I had been chewing gum! For the record, I had been involved in a baseball accident a short time before that required oral surgery and I was favoring the injury which may have looked like I was chewing gum! In either case, the incident, and I almost lost an eye because of it, prompted my parents to remove me from the system!

VERITAS