Humor for Saturday

[82Rigger]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."



Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.



The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.


Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.



She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"




(you're gonna love this)







(its a real treat)













(wait for it)









The bank manager looks back at her and says...











"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."


(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)



Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!

[darrels joy]

Thanks. I needed that.

[Robert Ryan]

great rigger, great. enjoyed the hell outta that one.

[b3196]

That joke was so bad...Its funny!!!!
Bob K

[Jerry D]

LOL that was a good'in Yep you know we all were singing along

[revwardoc]

In the same mode:

Roy Rogers has just purchased a new pair of cowboy boots and decides to break them in by going on a hike on a mountain trail somewhere out west. All of a sudden, he's attacked by a mountain lion that latches itself on the boots. Roy manages to get away only by letting the cougar pull the boots off.

Rogers can only look on as he's running down the trail and watch the lion tear his boots to shreds.

The next day Roy recruites his buddy, Pat Brady, to drive them both, aboard Nellybelle, back to the trail so he can shoot that damned feline.

They spend most of the day looking, in vain, until, round about dusk, Pat spys a puma walking along the ridge. He turns to Rogers and says, (I hope you all know the tune)

"Pardon me Roy! Is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?!"

[QM3steve]

A toad goes into Dr. doolittles office.
"Doc, my thing is yellow, it's not the right color what can you do?"
"I don't know." says the doc, you'll have to go see the wizard."
The toad walks out and in walks a giraffe.
"Hey doc, my neck's too short, how am I supposed to get to the trees? Can you help me?"
"I don't think so." Says the doc. "You'll have to go see the wizard."
As the giraffe walks out, he says "doc, I don't know how to get there."
The doc says "that's easy, just follow the yellow prick toad"

[reconeil]

Being a retired Bank Branch Manager, my wife really cracked-up over your joke,...even though not quite raunchy, foul and filthy and/or more so to: "Nasty Neil's" taste. Though, such did explain much about Airbornes' speedy plane exits, to me.

I could never understand how an entire platoon could exit the plane so-damn-quickly,...even though some think that such is due to The Green Light and A Jump Master with a cattle prode doing his thing?

Well, for speed of exit, I sort-of went along with that,....UNTIL I read your joke. After that, I figured that if you were towards the end of The Platoon, and you had just finished telling that joke when The Green Light went on to a bunch of horny Gung-Ho types,... hell, even I would've probably trampled over The Jump Master, while breaking some high altitude record getting out of that plane.

Nothing personal, "Troop".

"Neil The Leg"

[Tina]

ROFLMAO...
I just went and read it to my mom and dad and they are rolling too..
thanks steve i think alot of us needed that...
Your Friend and God Bless,
Tina

[MarineAO]

PHONE: RING RING.....

"Hello?"

"Hi, honey, this is daddy," ... "Is your mommy near
the phone?"

"No, daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle
Frank."

After a brief pause, daddy says, "But you haven't got
an Uncle Frank,
honey!"

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with
mommy, right now!"

"Uh, Okay, then...here's what I want you to do. Put
down the phone, run
upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to
mommy and Uncle
Frank that daddy's car just pulled up outside the
house."

"Okay, daddy!"

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the
phone. "Well, I
did what you said, daddy."

"And what happened?" he asks.

"Well, mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no
clothes on and
ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug
and went flying out
the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh my God!!! And what about your Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he
was all scared and
he jumped out the back window into the swimming
pool... but he must have
forgot that last week you took out all the water to
clean it, so he hit
the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's all real
dead too."

***long pause***

Then daddy says, "Swimming pool??? Is this 328-9874?"