Will Rogers

[cadetat6]

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy the following:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by
observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. 11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

[82Rigger]

LOL!

These are humorous AND WISE!

I love anecdotes by Will Rogers and Mark Twain.

[revwardoc]

Here's a couple from Mark Twain on politics:

On a recently deceased politician:
"I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it."

"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself."

[82Rigger]

More by Mark Twain...



"It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible."


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"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear."


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"It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble."


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"The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet."


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"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."


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"I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse."


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"The New York papers have long known that no large question is ever really settled until I have been consulted."


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"Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it."


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"In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination."


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"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."


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"There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure."


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"Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business."


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"Where prejudice exists it always discolors our thoughts."

[Jerry D]

Ole Samuel Clemons made quite a mark in Hannibal Missourah and here is a little unknown history of the Man born under a comet and died under the same Comet "Hailey's" :

Samuel and the Civil War - Less Than Heroic

In 1861, with the outbreak of the Civil War, the river traffic was greatly disrupted. Clemens, not wanting to be mistaken by the Union as a gunboat, returned to Hannibal and helped form the Marion Rangers, which was a group of Confederate volunteers comprised of many of his old Hannibal schoolmates.

While on the Mississippi, Clemens's loyalties changed back and forth, whereby he settled supporting the South. When Governor Claiborne F. Jackson called for a militia to be formed, Clemens answered the call, and he and fourteen others formed the Marion Rangers. Although Clemens was made a 2nd lieutenant, his rank and that of the others was basically meaningless to this group of boys who had grown up together.

The Marion Rangers were not exactly heroes by any stretch. Whenever a rumor surfaced that mentioned the Union troops may be coming, they assumed a retreating posture. Clemens later wrote that the rangers "were hopeless material for war." He was pleased and surprised how helpful and friendly the local farmers were to them.Clemens said of this that the farmers "were as hospitably kind and courteous to us as if we had deserved it."

In less than one month after the rangers were formed, Clemens and his men learned that a Union regiment was moving their way. Clemens said, "Our boys went apart and consulted, then we went back and told the other companies present that the war was a disappointment to us, and we were going to disband."

Upon learning of the disbandment plan, the Rangers were urged to reconsider, as reinforcements under Confederate General Tom Harris were on their way to them. Half of the Rangers decided to stay and joined other regiments and served until the end of the war. However, Samuel and the others would hear nothing of staying. Clemens later wrote that, I knew more about retreating than the man that invented retreating."

Later in life, Clemens, now signing his pen name of Mary Twain, wrote about his short war experiences in an amusing short story titled, "The Private History of a Campaign That Failed." His story told of the confusion within the Rangers, and how inexperienced the young boys were, who actually had no clue what war was about, or really where they loyalties lay.
While The War Raged

With the Civil War continuing in earnest, Clemens traveled to Carson City in January 1862, then to Aurora that April. In Nevada he dabbled in mining all the while continuing his writings.

In February, 1863, Clemens wrote three articles and sent them to the Carson City Enterprise, that were published on the third, fifth and seventh. These articles were signed Mark Twain, the first known use of the name, although Clemens claimed to have used it earlier.

Later that year, Twain wrote for the San Francisco Morning Call, as well as the Virginia City Enterprise. Published in the Enterprise was an article called "A Bloody Massacre Near Carson," which was a fictional hoax about a man killing his family. Other papers picked up the story, then discovered that is was a hoax, and were furious, refusing to continue to reprint news stories from the Enterprise. Twain offered to resign, but the editors, Goodman and De Quille did not accept his resignation saying that the anger will blow over, although at the same time, the story will be remembered, favorable from a writing aspect for Twain.

Many years later With his health and chest pains increasing in frequency and annoyance, Twain returned to New York on April 12, 1910 in severe pain. Twain took notice that Halley's Comet was again visible in the sky, as it was the day of his birth.

On April 21, 1910 at 6:30 p.m., Samuel Clemens, the beloved Mark Twain, died at Stormfield. His funeral was held at the Brick Presbyterian Church, New York, and Henry Van Dyke gave a short sermon. Mark Twain was buried in Elmira, New York on April 24, in a family plot.

In evaluating the life of Mark Twain what can be said other than he was truly a great American, the best of the best in his writings, and one of the most beloved characters and story tellers the world will ever know.He for one is someone that I would have loved to have met.

The genius of his wit entertained the world not only through his literature, but through his very popular lecture series. He would always appear elegantly clad in his trademark white suit that complemented his white mustache and distinctive hair, along with his cigar.

A man of serious thinking, this native American never strayed from his homespun humor and down to earth style and manners.

So remember a toast to Sam Clemons AKA "Mark Twain" this April 23 while at Pycho Mountain for he was indeed one of us Ya'know