The Once and Future Me

[exlrrp]

"so they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly......."
Just wanted to get a line in to tell you why I'm so peripatetic lately in my attendance here.
I'M MOVIN TO OREGIN!! (correct prounciation) Yep, packin up the covered wagon and movin out, with OREGON OR FUCK IT!! Painted on the sides.
Had the Mother of all yard sales last Sat. You never know how many deadbeats and wackos there are in your town untill you have a yard sale. I'm starting all over other than my basic tools, which comprise about half a ton (NOT that I'm evr going to use them, theyre for historical purposes only!)
The yard sale was good fortune in more ways than one--my girlfriend found $300--three C's-- in a box and asked me if they were mine--course there's only one honest answer to THAT... I slipped her a tenner for being so honest. Including that, I made $1185.00 in one day, which makes you wonder why I bothered working for so long (it was just to flesh out the autobiography)
AND THEN: I took all my plastic mayonnaise jars full of coins I put in out of my pockets(its what I buy my model train stuff with) and took them to the change countin machine: $643.00!!! that totalled $1800 Large plus.
Well if I'da knowed I had that much $$$ just laying around I'd hav burgalarized myself long ago. It's why I still sleep with one eye open allthese years--to keep from ripping myself offf.
Ever since, I been disconnecting and putting in boxes. Its amazing how much stuff I accumulate--not like one of those old guys that has to tunnel his way to ther bathroom but getting there. If someone doesn't watch me, I'd collect the world. When I moved into this place in '98 I had about 2 pickups full--nowe I had to rent a 26 foot truck to move me and Sue all at once.
Still, this is the longest I ever lived in one place--6 years plus. the longest previous was 5 years dropping to 2+ for 3d.
just like to pick up and move now and then--I'd have to think real hard to remember all the houses Ive lived in, its dozens. This probably comes from my childhood--I lived in 7 places before I dropped out of high school.
But I think this may be my last move--I can't think of a plce I'd rather live than where I'm moving, this is the dream house for both Sue and me. ( I mentioned the clear fields of fire before, didn't I?) It won't get any better than this I keep saying that but I'm always wrong, there, anyway.
Whoaaaaaa, James, your saying, moving AND moving into a place with a woman AND getting married--yr talking crazy!! You've been down this road before: the crying, the pleading, the whining, the begging--and that was just to get sex!.
Well, you see, I HAVE learned a little from my 2 previous marriages, liike ALWAYS MAINTAIN CONTROL OF THE FINANCES! and NEVER MARRY A WOMAN THATS A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU! (also: NEVER MARRY A WOMAN THATS POORER THAN YOU!)
See, I got part of the problem whipped by marrying a professional housekeeper and PAYING her to clean the house--simple, eh?? Ive finally found the way to bend women to my will: give them money. (Actually I had this figured out much earlier but getting back to American girls sorta threw me for a few decades)
And the sex part: I got her chasing me around, now that I convinced her it takes only one hand to hold a Whopper. (Everything's relative) She pays ME for that.
Atr any rate, Im off to pack the truck, or more accurately, supervise the Mexicans loading the truck (I'll MISS California and the way we do things here!)
I'll be back tommorrow
Stay good, all!!

James