My Favorite (Only) Daughter

[Keith_Hixson]

Patricia is here visiting us. The family is going to be burying GrandDad on Wednesday. I told her about the wonderful, kind and sweet folks here on Patriotsfiles.com. She wants to set the record straight about Dad. I have given her instructions, she must tell the truth. Her dad is normal in everyway. His sense of humor is totally proper. And, her dad has an IQ of 154!

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Well, he probably does have an IQ of 154. Intelligence often accompanies insanity. However, I (being more interested in truth than popularity) must disagree with the description of my father as being "normal in everyway," and his "humor is totally proper." Although, to his credit, I believe dad's humor to be more proper than my own.

Looking back on my childhood, I can honestly conclude that my father's sense of humor was simultaneously the best and worst part of being his daughter. My first real date was during my freshman year of high school; I was invited by a friend (who wished to be much more) to go to Senior Prom. I was quite nervous about Jeremy coming to the house as I remember my father threatening to be at the door with a shot gun. But no, my father is much more subtle than that. As I finished getting ready for the event, my date and my father conversed a bit:

Dad: So, you're going out with my daughter tonight, HUH?
Jeremy: Yes sir.
Dad: Are you sure you want to do that? She's kind of weird isn't she?
Jeremy: Uhh...
Dad: I would completely understand if you wanted to stick around here and watch TV with me instead. Patricia is really pretty strange.
Jeremy: Uhh...

Jeremy and I went out and had a decent time, but he never asked me out again.

I still enjoy my father's sense of humor and have found that, generally, if a caller can't handle my father's wit, they most certainly can't handle me. Anyway, my dad's the best. A weirdo, but hey, it runs in the family.

Patricia