My 5,000th post and deications of same

[MORTARDUDE]

Wow...5,000 !!! Counting the Old History Channel, probably 6,500 or more. Little did I know what a true blessing my platoon-mate ( Gary Ogden ) from the 4th platoon, Company B, 2nd Battalion, 22nd Infantry ( Mechanized ), 25th infantry Division, would bestow on me when he told me in May 2000 about the www.veterans.com website which was a part of the Old History Channel site. I had been very reluctant for many reasons to go to the VA hospital, file a claim, or talk to anybody about Vietnam. From the moment "Platoon" rolled on the screen in 1987 with the 25th Div. patch displayed, and it being the first unit I was in ( 3/22 ) I began to be alternately repulsed and obsessed with Vietnam...I ran across folks who swore "Platoon" was THE Vienam War movie. A few questions and you knew they were full of shit and we both left mad.....my wife didn't want to talk about what happened to me..her stock answer was "it was war..shit happens"...anyway, I had my first experience with "modern" psychiatry that year ( private ), and he was a Vietnam Vet and was a wonderful man...so things were better until about 8 years later...I started falling apart again...after Gary told me about you guys...Eureka..."real" combat veterans !!! As you know, I like to write..it was the first time I had an outlet for writing....as time went on, I had a lot of bad times, finally got to the Vet Center in 2003, filed a claim for PTSD in March of 2004, starting going to groups at the Vet Center, and my wife filed for divorce while I was in the VA hospital being treated for PTSD in 2004, and we had to file Chapter 7 and lost everything including our house. My wife has taken 40% of my federal govt. pension, and I am back at square one at 56 years old. These are the real costs of war and PTSD. The image of dead children that I help kill will haunt me to my grave.....

Dedications :

OK...first to my Mom and Dad...this is tough...my dad died in 1986..I took him for granted and wasn't with him when he passed..I will never absolve that regret... I loved him dearly.

My Mom, bless her heart, will soon have me and both my sons to take care of ( actually we atake care of her..but don't tell her tah lol )...she is an Angel. I would not be typing these words if she wasn't alive the past 10 years..

To David and Bern...I will never forget as Arrow frantically searched for us a new home as the History Channel let all sorts of wannabe scum antagonize us all the time, plus their server sucked...
You both will always be special to me.

Arrow..many outside the core group that came over will never understand how much we all LOVE you...how you have absorbed all the hate, vitriol, pettiness, and yes..out and out bullshit ( lol ) that we have pointed at each other all these years, kept us together for 6 years, and made our lives so much better... God Bless You !!!

having a real hard time here..sandstorms.. my throat is closing up and i cant see...

To the group I migrated here with. I love everyone of you as brothers and will personally give each and everyone a hug before I die....

To my other friends here. May God Bless You !!

To the WW2 and Korean War veterans....I know in a few years the Vietnam veterans will be the senior living veterans left in the USA. I pray that God will give us the strength, wisdom, courage, perseverance, dignity, grace, and goodness that you have shown as you lived thru the Depression fought a World War and a "police action", raised the Baby Boom Generation and served as an example for all to follow !!!

I would like to say to anyone who has gotten this far, and is ambivalent as far as religion goes...God IS real..and He IS LOVE..and that is ALL you came in this world with and ALL you will leave with..think about it !!!

May God Bless,

Your humble brother in arms,

Larry