Excerpt from the weekly Summary of Mishaps

[darrels joy]

Excerpt from the weekly Summary of Mishaps

"THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING FUNNY!" DEPARTMENT:

GOT THIS ONE FROM AN ARMY COMPADRE, AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T

LIST THE M2 MACHINE GUN AS ONE OF YOUR OFFICE TOOLS, AND

EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO MOUNT ONE IN THE TURRET

SYSTEM OF A MULTIPURPOSE ALL-TERRAIN VEHICLE, THIS TALE

HOLDS SOME USEFUL LESSONS.

DURING PRE-COMBAT CHECKS, A SOLDIER WAS HAVING A HARD

TIME INSERTING THE LOCKING PIN ON THE MOUNT. HE TRIED TO

FORCE IT INTO PLACE WITH A ROCK.

TRAINING TIMEOUT: NEXT TIME YOU FIND YOURSELF FORCING

SOMETHING WITH A ROCK, ASK YOURSELF, "IS MY NAME FRED

FLINTSTONE? DO I LIVE IN THE TOWN OF BEDROCK?" ASSUMING

THE ANSWER TO THESE QUESTIONS IS "NO," FIND SOMEONE UP

THE CHAIN OF COMMAND AND ASK FOR HELP. AND IF YOU SEE

SOMEONE USING A ROCK AS A HAMMER, ONCE AGAIN ASSUMING HIS

NAME ISN'T FLINTSTONE OR RUBBLE, TAKE THE ROCK AWAY FROM

HIM A.S.A.P.

BACK TO THE STORY. THE ROCK DIDN'T WORK, SO THE

SOLDIER HAMMERED AT THE PIN WITH A .50 CAL ROUND. AFTER

SEVERAL BLOWS, THE PRIMER ACTIVATED AND SET OFF THE ROUND

IN THE SOLDIER'S HAND.

UNLESS YOU ARE A FAN OF GROSS IMAGES, IT IS PROBABLY

GOOD THAT YOU AREN'T LOOKING AT THE PHOTO I'M LOOKING AT

AS I WRITE THIS. I GUESS YOU CAN STILL TELL IT'S A HAND,

BECAUSE A COUPLE FINGERS ARE DISTINGUISHABLE. BUT IF THAT

EXTREMITY IS GOOD FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN MAKING PEOPLE

CRINGE AND DRAWING DISABILITY PAY IN THE FUTURE, I MISS

MY GUESS.