#11
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C'mon in. The foods passable, the drinks make it taste better, and the men don't do dishes!
__________________
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) |
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#12
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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK Specificity British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK Thanks, but I don't want to have sex Nope, no more booze for me Sorry, but you're not really my type Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
__________________
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) |
#13
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Beer, Anyone?
Yesterday scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned. |
#14
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So that explains it! Thanks Jeff. Been wondering about this for years.
Joe |
#15
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You guys are wicked, evil and dangerous!
Did the test subjects also try to make sure they looked and smelled their best, getother guys to buy them drinks, and then suddenly have to go home with a headache?
__________________
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) |
#16
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Can't say that I've had any direct experience with this for more than 35 years, but some of my single friends tell me that she did turn into a headache the next morning.
__________________
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. -Samuel Johnson |
#17
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A little alcohol makes everything easier.
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#18
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Calendar
Here's a calendar (just for November and December) for people who only drink on holidays. I have the whole year in a Word file, if anyone wants it, or it can be converted to a simple text file. Some pals and I started working on it about 30 years ago (before the days of the computer!) when I was working at Maremont Corp. after I got out of the CG, and it goes through modifications on an as-needed basis.
NOVEMBER 1 Gorden's Annual Eggplant Madness 2 The Ides of Gwoon 3 The Great Haggis Feast 4 Anniversary of the 1st Electric Bass Drum 5 The Swirling of Swizzle Sticks 6 Festival of Used Light Bulbs 7 Galoshes Day 8 Martha's 2nd Honeymoon 9 Be Bald and Be Free Day 10 Annual Tumblebug Pageant 11 Make a New Enemy Day 12 Columbus Day 13 Cincinnati Day 14 Opossum Day 15 Anniversary of the Morton Spooner Monument 16 National Grouch Day 17 Feast of the Asteroid Belt 18 Snails' Day 19 Toenail Tap Dance 20 Peach Pit Fling 21 Afternoon of the Faun 22 Teabag Festival 23 Use More Goose Quills Day 24 National Fiesta of the 9th Guard 25 Ogres' Gathering 26 Night of the Frunious Quizzle 27 International Cajoling of Dragonflies 28 Fiesta of the Fat Chamois 29 Miss Kwudd's Ballet Recital 30 Gashouse Gang?s Pancake Supper DECEMBER 1 White Knights' Dragon Fight 2 Piece Treaty Day 3 Cliggle's Ecator Click 4 Curing of the Tropic of Cancer 5 Uncle Tom's Cabana Bee 6 Beeswax Festival 7 Riot of the Dirty Old Men 8 Annual Sideburn Pageant 9 Anniversary of the Articles of Anarchy 10 Omar Sturd's Annual Grin 11 Flap Day 12 Do Something Real Dumb Day 13 Regret It Day 14 Third Day of the Preeple 15 Grackle Day 16 Annual Meeting of The Man Can't Fly Society 17 Underdog Day 18 Snowcat Drivers' Ball 19 Throw a Peachpit at a Chihuahua Day 20 Belly Button Lint Day 21 Winter Solstice 22 National Whiner's Day 23 Piz Nez Lens Wipe 24 The Wax Museum Meltdown 25 Christmas Day 26 Chicken Fat Collection Day 27 Yearly Decoration of Moose Antlers 28 Crating Day 29 Boxing Day 30 Wear a Svelte Belt on the Veldt Day 31 New Years Eve Later, everyone! Today's the celebration of the Afternoon of the Faun! Jeff |
#19
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How about a Bah Humbug day? Or the annual Curmudgeon non-festival?
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#20
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Could you mail me the whole year? These are great Jeff! and I agree that a curmudgeon non-fest should be added.Maybe on leap yearday?
__________________
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) |
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