heh heh heh

[David]

An old Chief and an old Gunny were sitting at the VFW arguing about who'd had the tougher career. "I did 30 years in the Corps," the Gunny declared proudly, "and fought in three of my country's wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade. "As a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire. "Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razor grass for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and mortar fire all night. In a fire fight, we'd fire until our arms ached and our guns were empty, then we'd charge the enemy with bayonets!"

"Ah," said the Chief with a dismissive wave of his hand, "all shore duty, huh?"

[David]

A Mustang (Officer-former enlisted), retired after 35 years and realized a lifelong dream of buying a bird-hunting estate in Alaska. He invited an old Admiral friend to visit for a week of pheasant shooting. The friend was in awe of the Mustang's new gun dog, "Chief". The dog could point, flush and retrieve with the very best.

The Admiral offered to buy the dog at any price. The Mustang declined, saying that Chief was the very best bird dog he had ever owned and that he couldn't part with him. Six months later the same Admiral returned for another week of hunting and was surprised to find the Mustang breaking in a new dog.

"What happened to Chief?" he asked. "Had to shoot him," the Mustang replied. "Another old shipmate came to hunt with me and couldn't remember the dog's name. He kept calling him 'Master Chief' ...after that, all the dog would do was sit on his butt and bark."

[David]

1. A Seaman saying, "I learned this in Boot Camp..."

2. A Petty Officer saying, "Trust me, sir..."

3. A Lieutenant JG saying, "Based on my experience..."

4. A Lieutenant saying, "I was just thinking..."

5. A Chief chuckling, "Watch this shit..."

[MORTARDUDE]

David :

Good stuff !! Thanks !! I needed a laugh !!

Larry

[David]

Why it is so important to speak and read english

[reeb]

I will bet that " Preparation H " tasted better than the shit we had to brush our teeth with arriving and departing Nam.

enough.....

[Arrow]

uh oh posted in wrong spot

Arrow>>>>>>

[STYCK]

An applicant to the Bloomfield, New Jersey’s Sheriff’s Office was being interviewed for the job.

The Deputy doing the interview says: “Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted.”

Sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says:

“Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
six crack heads,
and a rabbit. “

“Why the rabbit?”

“Great attitude,” says the Deputy. “When can you start?”

[namvet]

[STYCK]

Who will help me Plant My Wheat?

asked the Little Red Hen

'Not I,' said the cow.

'Not I,' said the duck.

'Not I,' said the pig.

'Not I,' said the goose.


'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.

'Not I,' said the duck..

'Out of my classification,' said the pig.

'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.


At last it came time to bake the bread.


'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.


'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.

'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.

'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.


'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.


She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.
They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.

But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'


'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)


And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and
around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.


Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You
must not be so greedy.'

'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.

'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free
enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as
much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the
productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with
those who are lazy and idle.'


And they all lived happily ever after, including the
little red hen, who smiled and clucked,
'I am grateful, for now Itruly understand.'


But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never
again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread
free.
And all the Democrats smiled.
'Fairness' had been established.
Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one
cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.


EPILOGUE


Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.

Hillary got $8 million for hers.

That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight
years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.
IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT ?