Grandma Beats Up Airport Security Guards

[thedrifter]

Received this from a friend yesterday...Wanted to share...
They could not verify if it was true or not, but it does make you think.....

Grandma Beats Up Airport Security Guards
by Bob Wallace

Charges were dropped yesterday against Ruth "Grammy" Gordon, an 83-year-old wheelchair-bound grandmother, who was originally charged with assault and battery, and assault with a deadly weapon, because an altercation she had last week with six airport security guards, that left all six hospitalized.

"Justice has been served," said the 95-pound mother of three and grandmother of six, as she sat in her wheelchair, aided in her breathing by an oxygen bottle. "Now I?m going to sue every fool in the federal government for ignorance, stupidity, and just plain general incompetence. I?m an American, and I won?t be treated like this."

The problem began last month as Gordon was attempting to board an airplane. "These guys are supposed to be some kind of professionals," she said, "but they?re dumber than rocks. Here they were letting guys who looked just like terrorists walk through without searching them, and then they pull me aside and tell me they?re going to search me? I don?t think so."

According to one witness, Bud Cort of Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, one guard, "who weighed about 300 pounds, looked like he was drunk, and had his shirt out, told this woman she couldn?t board the plane unless they searched her. He was really rude. That?s when the trouble started."

Videotapes showed that Gordon ran the guard down with her motorized wheelchair, then sat on top of the screaming man while spinning her chair in circles. "Doofus was so fat he couldn?t get up," said Gordon with a giggle.

One guard who attempted to pull Gordon?s wheelchair off of the screaming man from behind was hit over the head with an oxygen bottle and knocked unconscious. A third guard, who approached Gordon from the front, was also left dazed on the floor. Witnesses said she was cackling, "Put your hands on an old lady, will you?" as she bashed both guards.

The tape also showed a fourth guard attempting to grab Gordon?s wheelchair. Gordon removed a knitting needle from her purse and stabbed him in his left buttock. "What a wimp," she told reporters. "He started screaming and grabbing his butt and running like a puppy that someone kicked."

"It was amazing," said another witness, a Scott Ryan. "The whole crowd just stood there cheering and clapping. I mean, she was whupping butt."

A fifth guard that attempted to grab Gordon had the seat of his pants set on fire with a cigarette lighter than had escaped detection. "He just went whoosh across the concourse, screaming and slapping at all these flames flying out of his rear," said Ryan.

A sixth guard did finally manage to get Gordon in a body hug. "I think that was the wrong thing to do," said another witness, who declined to be identified. "She just grabbed him by his greasy hair with one hand and cracked him across the jaw with her skinny fist. And down and out he went."

After all this, Gordon?s chair was still sitting on top of the first guard. The tapes clearly showed her leaning over and yelling, "Apologize to me, you fat sum*****, or when I?m done with you you?ll just be a greasy spot on the floor!"

As the crowd roared, the guard cried, "I?m sorry, I?m sorry! Uncle! I won?t do it again!"

Finally, Gordon surrendered without further incident, and was taken to jail and released on her own recognizance. "We didn?t have any choice," said an unidentified officer of the court. "Over 200 people showed up to support her. I think if we had demanded bail, there would have been a riot."

Over 20 lawyers offered to defend her for free. However, realizing the precariousness of the case, Gordon was not charged with anything. "I doubt there?s a jury in the whole country that would have found her guilty of anything," said one of the lawyers.

"I?m flying again tomorrow," Gordon told reporters. "And I suggest no one at the airport so much as look at me wrong."

Semper Fi,

Roger

[David]

The story sounds suspect hehe. Bern and I just came back from flying to WA with a total of 4 plane changes in 3 different airports. I for one was impressed by the guard staff and appreciated the fact many passengers were pulled aside and searched regardless of color, gender, or nationality. Tim McVeigh should be proof enough it does not take a deperate looking easterner to create hell on earth.

[Keith_Hixson]

Fun story to read. I doubt is true. The security is much better than before 9 -11 and that should make us all much happier. My Son and I went to pick my wife up at the airport four years ago. We walked all over the airport, in and out of metal detectors with no difficulty at all. My son has several large pieces of stainless in his leg and back which had always set alarms off before. I mentioned this to a security officers. They let me know they were doing their job and didn't need interference from an ouside source. Today he can't even get close to a metal detector without alarms going off. Security is much better and we must be grateful, but I'm sure that any determined enemy could and probably will find a way to attack us again. We are such a diverse society that our diversity makes it easier to attack, what does a terrorist look like. Blonde and blue eyed from middle America or a Middle East terrorist with dark hair and brown eyes. If is so hard to monitor. Yet, we do know that most terrorism is from the middle east but not all.

Anyway, I think your story is a little suspect but I had a nice chuckle about it.

Keith

[judyvillecco]

I don't know how true, but I can relate to Grandma and got a lot of chuckles out of it. Thanks for sharing it.

[reconeil]

Still, and since living in a country that for the last 20-30 years (at minimum) has pretty-much treated our internal security basically as an Honor System, and has Security Guards that are given less background checks than teenage McDonald employees get,...I tend to actually believe the story.

Do you think me a-little-short-of-a-dozen? If so, don't worry.
I've been called a-helluva-lot-worse.

Neil

[judyvillecco]

No, I tend to believe it. But then I believed my recruiter too!
Ft. Dix didn't do away with all my naivete