How to cook Turkey

[cadetat6]

Some past callers stand out.

"We got a call from a guy last year whose turkey wouldn't fit in his pan. He wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it until it did," Clingman said.

Another caller cut a turkey in half with a chain saw, then worried that oil on the saw might have transferred onto the turkey. A woman in Colorado who left her turkey outside to keep it frozen realized she couldn't find it when more snow fell.

And one phone call began: "You don't know anything about kitty litter, do you?" Clingman said a woman called after her husband poured kitty litter on the bottom of a new grill in hopes of absorbing drippings. Fortunately, the grill hadn't been lit yet, so the turkey was pulled off and cooked more conventionally, she said.

Kathy Bernard with the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Meat and Poultry Hotline in Beltsville, Md., said a caller last year wanted to make her bird inside a roasting bag, but didn't have one, so had improvised.

"She pulled a dry cleaning bag off her husband's suit, and it melted onto the bird," Bernard said.

long time ago, a young Marine wife away from family, had to cook her first turkey.
She request advice on cooking that turkey.
One Marine Mom told her what happen when she had to cook her first turkey.
She did everything as suggested, when it was cooking, she started to smell something funny.
She had forgotten to take out the plastic bag holding the gizzards, heart and neck.
The plastic had melted, she had to throw out the "bird".
That was one good "horror Thanksgiving Story"...

The new fad the last couple of years was deep frying turkeys. Well I heard a story about a guy that threw a frozen turkey into the hot oil and you all know that this will make the oil boil over which it did and he had the fire department over for dinner cause he burned his deck down.

[Chas H]

Years ago on the Tonite Show, Johnny Carson would have occasionally an elderly and delightful woman as a quest. They were discussing the Thanksgiving turkey and she offered her recipe for popcorn turkey. "Place a quarter cup of popcorn inside the bird and when it blows out the asshole you know it's done."
Carson didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but the audience was ROTF.