Way too funny. Must read!!!

[Raggedy Ann]

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Let in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the
soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat. Dry off forearms and butt only. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo'
sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

And you men wonder why we women don't like to use the same bar of soap that we use! If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you. Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

Raggedy Ann

[b3196]

Hey Ann
Have we ever been married?
bOOger

[Raggedy Ann]

Bob
I don't think we have been married but I grew up in the 60's and sometimes the 60's are a little fuzzy. Why, does all of this sound familar?

RA

[Seascamp]

Hmmm, an exact description of pier side Destroyer or Cruiser preps for ?liberty call? and referred too as ?night fighter training opps? except there was no Lass to wag the ?fulein pipe? at.

That is unless someone snuck some ?contraband local Ladies' aboard and in that instance one could expect some UFSNs to occur with the rest of the racket. UFSN = Unusual funny sounding noises. And at the time, a splash or so of 'English Leather' was the thing to do before goin off the after brow n' setting off to terrorize the feather merchants.

Scamp

[Raggedy Ann]

Ummmm ... the smell of English Leather sure brings back memories.

RA

[b3196]

Ann
Everything except the woo woo part. I usually ask if she would like to talk to the one eyed wonder worm
bOOger

[Raggedy Ann]

Bob
You are such a MAN... Do you learn those lines in high school? I'm having a visual right now and it isn't pretty.

RA

[Jerry D]

That was soooo Funny I sent it to my cousins in Missouri
Thanks,
Jerry

[Packo]

Finally got the time to read this.....RA you are a hoot! Nothing on this seems unusual to me. English Leather was popular, but British Sterling...now that was a cologne!

Colon

[Raggedy Ann]

Oh yea, I was trying to remember British Sterling. There was English Leather, Brut, and British Sterling. Wow, what memories.

For girls it was Tigress, Canoe, Tabu, and Windsong.

RA