Spoons............

[grasshopper]

Last week, my friend and I went with some friends to a restaurant we had not eaten in for a long time. When we placed our order, I noticed that the waiter carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange,but I ignored it.
However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. I then looked around the room, and saw that all the staff had spoons in their shirt pockets.When the waiter came back to serve our soup, I asked, "Why the spoon?"He gave me this long reply:
"Well, the restaurant's owners hired Andersen-Consulting, who are experts in efficiency, to revamp all of our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84 percent more often than any other utensil. That represents a 'Drop Frequency' of approximately two spoon per table per hour. If our employees are prepared to deal with this contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 1.5 man-hours per shift."

A rather impressive answer. As luck would have it, I actually dropped my spoon and our waiter was able to replace it right away with his spare spoon. I'll get another spoon the next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get one right now."

I was even more impressed. The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me, and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the men's room." "How so?" "You see," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of our 'you-know-what', we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it. That way we eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the lavatory by 36.39 percent."
"Okay, that makes sense, but.........if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?"
"I don't know about the others, but I use my spoon."