My Favorite (Only) Daughter

[Keith_Hixson]

Patricia is here visiting us. The family is going to be burying GrandDad on Wednesday. I told her about the wonderful, kind and sweet folks here on Patriotsfiles.com. She wants to set the record straight about Dad. I have given her instructions, she must tell the truth. Her dad is normal in everyway. His sense of humor is totally proper. And, her dad has an IQ of 154!

______________________



Well, he probably does have an IQ of 154. Intelligence often accompanies insanity. However, I (being more interested in truth than popularity) must disagree with the description of my father as being "normal in everyway," and his "humor is totally proper." Although, to his credit, I believe dad's humor to be more proper than my own.

Looking back on my childhood, I can honestly conclude that my father's sense of humor was simultaneously the best and worst part of being his daughter. My first real date was during my freshman year of high school; I was invited by a friend (who wished to be much more) to go to Senior Prom. I was quite nervous about Jeremy coming to the house as I remember my father threatening to be at the door with a shot gun. But no, my father is much more subtle than that. As I finished getting ready for the event, my date and my father conversed a bit:

Dad: So, you're going out with my daughter tonight, HUH?
Jeremy: Yes sir.
Dad: Are you sure you want to do that? She's kind of weird isn't she?
Jeremy: Uhh...
Dad: I would completely understand if you wanted to stick around here and watch TV with me instead. Patricia is really pretty strange.
Jeremy: Uhh...

Jeremy and I went out and had a decent time, but he never asked me out again.

I still enjoy my father's sense of humor and have found that, generally, if a caller can't handle my father's wit, they most certainly can't handle me. Anyway, my dad's the best. A weirdo, but hey, it runs in the family.

Patricia

[sn-e3]

Ok keith how much did you have to pay her to say those nice things about you? And did she get a job yet if not pm me i might have a lead on one

[DMZ-LT]

Sounds like you done good Keith. I have two daughters and when ever I am alone with one I'll tell her I have always liked her better than her sister. They smile and pat me on the back and keep movin. I think they are both terrified that when I am really old I will come to live with them.

[Keith_Hixson]

I tell my children that my goal in life is to get old, ugly, eccentric, and become an embarrassment to the whole family. Then come and live with them.

Keith

[sfc_darrel]

If there is a dividing line in the middle, you are old.

Though I'm sure there are people that will argue it someone, somewhere has a definition of beauty that defines you as ugly. (probably the same people that define you as old).

Eccentric is just a nice word used for old people that are crazy. While you try to council the rest of us, we see through you and you fit right in with the rest of the lunatics.

I'm not sure your wife is ready to go back to living with the children so enjoy your time together.

We all survived to live this long. Some even made a conscious decision.

Joy

[Drywall]

Three out of four ain't bad.

[phuloi]

Patricia, Having met your dad,I have to concur with your assessment(except mabe for the IQ),and that he is normal in every way-for this looney-bin anyhow.To be honest,I`m proud to call him my friend and brother.I was hospitalized a few months back with who knows what,and Keith made my day with a phone call to check on me...He`s a sweet man.

[Arrow]

Patricia thanks for droppin' in and giving us the inside story on your dad. If he wasn't nuts when he got here he is probably certified nuts now. I am afraid we have corrupted him. He has been asking for a Hank Williams tune "Howling at the Moon" instead of "Bringing in the Sheets" or is that Sheaves? He seems to be having trouble seeing lately but don't get him any glasses cause when I saw him in Washington State he told me I was lookin' good...(for an okie)..(guess he was expectin' me to have hay in my hair and cow stuff on my boots) I did try to scrape the boots clean 'fore I climbed into Griz' ride...Any who if you been wondering where he is getting all of those stories and examples for his Sunday sermon. Now you know. God bless you sweetheart you have a good daddy and he has taught me a lot alot about what it means to forgive. He has shared some of the history of your family with me and he is a man that not only talks the talks but walks the walk. I am proud to be called his sis...

[Keith_Hixson]

Yesterday we buried grandpa.
It's been a long haul since his big stroke 2 and half years ago. Susan (my wife) and I took care of him for quite a while but it came to a place we had to put him in a Nursing Home. Boy I hate those places. His quality of life had really diminished the last two years. Strokes are a terrible thing. And you can linger on for years with a poor quality of life. Lots of mixed emotions at the funeral. But, I'm sure gramps is glad its all over with. I'm sure he is in a much better place than we who remain.

It was good to have the whole family there. Kids and grandkids, nephews and nieces. aunts and uncles. Great time of sharing and fellowship. A good family. Patricia is a good kid.!

Keith

[Andy]

That was an interesting story you told about your dad but why didn't you get to the weird part? Did he stop you?

Pat my real name is Tom and we can be friends. The Federal Government of the United States says I'm 70% sane, which is more than can be said for most on this site. IMO: your father is only mildly weird. He has also added his age to his IQ score.

Now knowing his goal in life I have just a bit of advice for you Pat, LOCK ALL THE DOORS AND WINDOWS. You might also want to buy a motion detector, cut away any shrubs near your house and buy a large dog. Barbed wire is also an option but check your local zoning laws first. Good luck.

Stay healthy,
Andy
PS: Keith, a long illness with no real hope is so hard, my heart goes out to you. It's good to remember this life is like a sinking ship. You might swim 50 yards or 5 miles but your still going to go under the waves. If He was anything like you, he has gone to a better place and the epic swim is over. Bless you my friend and bless your family.