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#1
07-08-2005, 11:47 AM
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Just Because
Subject: the golfer
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said "How bad is it doc?.....I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin - in every way." The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight It should be okay next week." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on the honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these." He immediately drops his pants and replies,......"Look at this, still in the CRATE!
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Boats O Almighty Lord God, who neither slumberest nor sleepest; Protect and assist, we beseech thee, all those who at home or abroad, by land, by sea, or in the air, are serving this country, that they, being armed with thy defence, may be preserved evermore in all perils; and being filled with wisdom and girded with strength, may do their duty to thy honour and glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. "IN GOD WE TRUST" 
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#4
07-08-2005, 04:17 PM
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The mofia boss arrives at his Deaf book keepers office with his attorney who also does sign language and confronts the book keeper about his missing 10 million dollars. Mofia cheif to attorney "ask him where my 10 millions bucks is? the attorney asks and the book keeeper plays dumb what 10 million bucks.? so the lawyer tells the boss he said he knows nothing. at this the mob boss pulls out a hand cannon and places it to the book keepers temple and says ask him again. so the lawyer does and the book keepers spills everything in sign language he says "the money is over in Brooklyn in a big brown satchel in my brother vennies basement." the Boss ask the lawyer what did he say and the Lawyer says he said "You don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
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May you be in Heaven 3 days before the Devil knows your dead
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