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Old 03-27-2009, 03:43 PM
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phuloi phuloi is offline
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Exclamation On Becoming Illegal.

On Becoming Illegal.


Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted
the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the
Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United
States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay
a 2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I
know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process
started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two
years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way
that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an
excellent result for me and my family because we paid
heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I c ould begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car
insurance pre miums. This is very important to me given that I still
have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms,
I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather
than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )

Donald Ruppert

Burlington , IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040.
(Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is
strong enough to take everything you have. ~Thomas Jefferson

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Old 03-27-2009, 04:56 PM
sn-e3 sn-e3 is offline
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Location: montesano, washington
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I love it
May you be in Heaven 3 days before the Devil knows your dead
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Old 03-27-2009, 05:18 PM
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reconeil reconeil is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Avenel, New Jersey
Posts: 5,873

Do I have to learn to speak Spanish first?

My Salute & "GarryOwen" to all TRUE Patriots.
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Old 03-28-2009, 06:02 AM
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revwardoc revwardoc is offline
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Any language besides English will do nicely.
I'd rather be historically accurate than politically correct.
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