Saddam Hussein, the capture

http://www.theangryliberal.com/comoftheday.htm


So you wake up Christmas morning to a knock at the door. It's your
drunk, lazy uncle bearing gifts. This guy, who's been living off your
family his whole life, has a large, heavy-looking box on a forklift.
Without saying a word, he drives the forklift into your living room,
sets the box on the floor, and begins cutting away the cardboard. After
a brief struggle, enough packing is removed to reveal an enormous
high-definition television. It clearly was made for a viewing area much
larger than your smallish living room. Your reaction is measured.

"Uh, wow. What a great gift! Uh, thanks so much. I just am a little
concerned about where to fit this."

"Don't worry," says your uncle, "You can get rid of the couch and put
the TV against that wall."

"That sounds a bit inconvenient, but I'm sure I can work something out.
By the way, did you get a job or something? This is a very expensive gift."

"Jobs are for suckers. I bought it with your credit card. Merry Christmas!"

What's the point of this bit of fiction, you ask? Actually, I wrote it
for those Americans who are celebrating the capture of Saddam Hussein by
coalition forces on Saturday. Your drunk Uncle George just delivered to
the citizens of the United States a lovely, but very expensive and
unnecessary gift. And the bill is just beginning to arrive.

This would be a really good time to set a few things straight. I, like
all liberals, am happy to know that Saddam Hussein will never hurt
anybody again. Unlike people such as Ronald Reagan and Donald Rumsfeld,
I never had any use for Saddam Hussein. He has always been a miserable
human being. Unlike republicans, I believe it was a mistake for the
Reagan administration to support Hussein and help him obtain the
components for the chemical weapons he was using on Iran during the war.
And, unlike republicans, I believe the capture of this former Reagan
administration ally, who was no longer useful in advancing America's
"projection of power in the Middle East" foreign policy, does not
remotely justify the tremendous cost in lives and treasure paid by
Americans and Iraqis alike.

Having said that, let's discuss the pluses and minuses of the capture of
Saddam Hussein. Here are the pluses:

1. A former ally of the Reagan administration is going to jail.
2. The senseless deaths of Iraqi civilians (via political
assassinations) under the Hussein regime have come to an end.
3. Hussein's capture may demoralize resistance fighters in Iraq.
4. A spacious cellar near Tikrit is now available for immediate occupancy.
5. $750,000 in cash found on Hussein could offset by 3% the cost of the
$25 million reward offered for his capture.

Now, for the minuses:

1. 455 dead American soldiers, 2,595 wounded American soldiers, low
moral, suicides, divorces, and the general upheaval of the lives of our
military personnel and their families. And the numbers are increasing.
2. Estimates of between 8,000 and 10,000 Iraqi civilian deaths, although
the Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA) will not allow an official
body count to be performed. And the number is increasing.
3. The beginning of senseless Iraqi civilian deaths (via insurgent
bombings) under the CPA.
4. Hussein's capture may embolden and/or inspire resistance fighters in
Iraq.
5. Approximately $90 billion added to America's public debt. And the
number is increasing.
6. The diverting of anti-terrorism intelligence and military resources
to the prosecution of the Iraq war.
7. The anti-Americanization of the civilized world, which will make it
easier for al-Qaeda cells to find refuge, financing, and other
assistance worldwide.
8. The misguided belief by America's Dumbest Conservatives that
Hussein's capture somehow represents a blow to terrorism.

That's all I've got. You do the math.

To recap the last twenty years, republicans under Reagan befriended and
supported Saddam Hussein with the goal of projecting power into the
Middle East. Over the last eighteen months George W. Bush lied to the
American people by claiming the certain knowledge that Saddam Hussein
had weapons of mass destruction, ties to terrorism, and represented a
clear and immediate threat to America and the world. Whether you're
talking about Reagan or Bush, the real goal of the republicans remains
unchanged. Due to their obsession with oil, they are still seeking to
project power into the Middle East. So, out with the old dictator and in
with . . . well, nobody knows. But you can bet that whoever he is, he'll
support the United States and its oil interests in the region, for a
while, anyway. And twenty years from now, do you suspect that Secretary
of State Paul Bremer will be announcing that the brutal, repressive
Iraqi dictator, who received authority from Bremer's CPA some twenty
years earlier, must be removed from power by force? I'd give you even odds.

So, dear liberals, celebrate with me the capture of one of the world's
bad guys. It will likely be the first and last good news to come out of
Iraq in our lifetimes. Soon, it will be back to listening to republicans
lie about terrorism, counting bodies, and watching the Bush
administration create the Iraqi regime that the next generation of
Americans will have to deal with.

12/15/03