Morning Coffee! ;)

[wrbones]

Anything else, is not America.

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyways? Coffee?s on, and it ain?t too awful bad, neither. Well? Get yerself a cup and sit a spell! What?s wrong with ya, anyways? I know yer not awake yet! Quit yer whinin?. If you ain?t wearin? dirty diapers, ya got nuthin? to whine about. (If?n ya are, holler fer the Nurse?s Assistant. That?s what they?re there for.) Paper?ll be along directly, I reckon. Woody wants them word puzzles. No, the funny page?s already got my name on ?em! You can have at the rest.

So, what?re we a visitin? over this mornin?? Now, dangit, I was askin? you. ?I gotta do alla the hard thinkin? around here, don?t I? If?n ya see some tall feller wanderin? around with a cane, and glazed look in his eyes, that?s me?doin? alla yer thinkin? for ya? ?idjit kids, anyways?

I got to laughin? at one lady yesterday. She was talkin? all about how Dick Cheney is really an alien from another world?in disguise. Well, that wasn?t so bad, me laughin? at her??til I found out that she was bein? serious. She works fer a big newspaper outfit back east. That?ll give a feller somethin? to think about, that will.

I had a couple of folks tell me what they thought of our visitin? around here yesterday. I like the way the one lady put it, about that ?Gentle Jesus? stuff? She was short, to the point, and Biblically accurate. ?If someone slaps ya over Jesus, turn the other cheek. If they slap ya over anything else, deck ?em.? I kinda like that. Keepin? things simple, that is. Well, you know that simple works fer me! Another feller said it real good, too. ??anyone who says that you are to lie down like a cur dog to be kicked is an ignoramus.? Now, keep in mind, bein? ignorant is all about not knowin? no better. Bein? an ignoramus?yeah, I spelled that right? Bein? an ignoramus is bein? ignorant on purpose. That means that yer makin? a regular habit out of bein? ignorant. I had a couple of folks disagree with me over that ?Gentle Jesus? stuff, too. I hadda read ?em from the Book. They ain?t got back to me yet?

Oh, that one feller that I was talkin? about who was goin? on about that stuff? I tried to warn him. He wanted me to provide ?proof.? Some of ya are laughin?. You know what I done to him. Well, it weren?t as bad as I done to you! I only emailed him thirty or forty links, and a few excerpts from stuff, to prove my point.

Ya see, some folks get to checkin? up on me with what I say around here. I don?t mind that a bit. (That?s why I posted alla that stuff on my website.) Even if?n yer just out to prove me wrong, yer a gonna learn somethin? outta the deal. That works, too. I don?t expect anyone to agree with me, but I do expect ?em to think some, and to be intellectually honest. Ain?t no worse lie than the lie ya tell yerself, ya see? Lotta folks call other fellers liars, and the only one?ll be lyin? inna situation is themselves?and generally, they?ll be a lyin? to themselves a lot more?n they?ll be a lyin? to anyone else.

Ya almost gotta feel sorry fer folks like that, but ya sure don?t haveta stand there and let ?em lie about stuff. You don?t haveta let ?em call you a liar just ?cause yer right and they?re wrong, fer that matter. If ya got the facts on yer side, and yer a tellin? the truth, ya ain?t gotta worry about gettin? whipped inna argument. If?n they don?t listen when yer bein? gentle-like, why then ya just gotta be bold with ?em. Ya don?t haveta yell and scream to be bold, ya know that, don?t ya? Ok. Just checkin?? If they got a sense of humor, you can even laugh at ?em over it, and then show ?em how foolish they?re a lookin?. Some folks just like dancin? inna dark, no matter what ya show ?em that?s different than they think it is. That?s alright, too, unless their dancin? inna dark is a gonna get ya all messed up with things.

Other thing about what I was talkin? about yesterday, the whole topic seems to be a bit of trend among some of ya. There?s a lot of folks talkin? about how Jesus ain?t a weaklin?, and how the church has done screwed up the way it teaches the gospel. Now, some of you denominational types figgers some of us is all about causin? a fight or hurtin? folks. It ain?t that at all. We just read the Book fer ourselves and we saw somethin? that you just mighta missed, is all. Jesus wasn?t anybody?s doormat. Paul weren?t either. Peter and none of the rest let anyone just walk all over ?em.

Shoot. The way ya preach Ananias and Sapphira, you completely overlooked that part of the deal. You teach it as bein? that?s what?ll happen to folks who don?t give ya their money. They was lyin? to God. That?s why they dropped dead, ya stoop. It wasn?t about the money. ?Then ya wonder why yer church is ?dead.? Yer a lyin? alla time, that?s why. In today?s churches, you figger that when folks like that lie to ya, it?s alright, ?Because Jesus loves them.? I seem to remember a part of the Book about liars a goin? to hell, myself, but I hear that some of you folks is usin? another Book, so that might explain it some. Some of them new translations are all about bein? politically correct, now. Seems they talk about ?persons? instead of men, and they talk about ?Jewish leaders? instead of the Jews. They talk about ?She? instead of God. Shoot, next thing ya know, Ol? Injun Joe in ?Tom Sawyer? is a gonna be called ?Native American Joe,? and instead of bein? a cold-blooded killer, he?ll be ?a member of an oppressed minority who was only lashing out.? Ya done started on the Bible, and American history isn?t bein? taught in schools anymore. If ya ain?t stoppin? with re-writin? the Bible, and ya ain?t a gonna teach the facts in yer schools, ya ain?t a gonna stop with re-writin? anything else, neither. Burnin? books won?t be necessary if?n ya keep it up. Think about it some. You?ll get there.

That Book, called The Bible, is some good literature, folks, but it?s more accurate than any history that was ever written by the hand of man alone. You study it up, and you?ll see that I?m right. That old Book is the foundation upon which this nation was founded. Without it, you don?t have America. And all of our enemies have known that fact since our very beginnin?s. Once they?ve taken that away from us, and destroyed it?s credibility amongst your unbelief, they don?t have to bomb us or invade us. The nation will fall down around our ears. As it is, our enemies have invaded us, and you?re all about how ?a loving Jesus wouldn?t allow such a thing to happen to America,? and you say among yourselves, ?those poor people need Jesus, too.? ?and in the meanwhile, you do nothing but offer up false praise, false offerings, and false worship, and you teach every one his brother false teachin?s, solely for gainin? the praise of your fellows, and the money that?s in their pockets.

?And some of ya work fer big-time outfits, and go to church, and tell each other things like, ?Dick Cheney is really an alien in disguise?? If you?ll believe a lie like that, you?ll believe anything?except for the truth. ?and you sit and wonder why the nation has lost it?s way. What too many of ya don?t know, is that American Patriotism and the Bible are inextricably intertwined. Anything else, is not America. As well, without the Bible, as it is written, you are no Christian.

Warm up yer coffee folks. It?s a new day. We?ve got another chance to get ?e right. We?ve got another opportunity to get ?er all sorted out. Make sure ya take advantage of it.

No. I haven?t been ?preaching.? You don?t want to hear me preach. You can?t handle what I?m sayin? now.