Morning Coffee! ;)

[BLUEHAWK]

Yup, I saw a slide rule the other day, at the Salvation Army thrift store... they wanted a half dollar for it

I took it in my hand and imagined there MIGHT be six people who still know how to use one...

[wrbones]

'Mornin' folks! How the hell are ya this mornin', anyway? Coffee's on! Ya best get a cup and cop a squat somewhere! Paper'll be along after a bit, I reckon. If I gotta tell you one more time that I got first dibs onna funny pages...

Well, I'm all excited! JC, a Veteran Woman Marine has started an online grassroots effort to get me elected President! ...or at least on Larry King Live... So far, in the unofficial and, dare I say, unscientific polls, I lead both Bush and Kerry by quite a margin! Someone said what about Kucinich. I said "Bless you" and offered her some cold medicine and a tissue. Anyway, I was told I'd have to work onna platform, so I got started...then they gave me a list to start with, and I said, "Oooh, that kinda platform"... and I put my hammer and tape measure away. I haven't used the skilsaw in almost a year. I was some disappointed, ya know.

Anyway, here's the list and some of my responses to it.

VA Benefits.
More funding for the Marine Corps.
Make the Navy a part of the Marine Corps.
Job Creations.
A chicken in every pot.
A gun in every holster.


Well, that gave me a couple of ideas...

VA Benefits: the government made a promise. That promise shall be kept.

More funding for every branch of the service. We?re spending less of our GDP on defense than any other nation on earth. For at least once, the Marine Corps gets first go at new equipment instead of what's at the bottom of the barrel. All recruitment advertisements for every branch of the service should read: "We make war for a livin'. Get over it." All recruiters will be required to emphasize warfightin'. That other stuff is nice, but it ain't what the recruit is there for.

Jobs and money stay home. Taxes that bleed companies white, causin' them to move out of the country, and micro-management by the government will end. (yeah, that causes other problems, but I have the solutions.)

Ya invested inna company where the CEO takes home more money inna year than you'll make inna lifetime, and you don't get squat out of yer investment? Ya dumbass. Take yer money out of the company right now! What's wrong with ya. Don't need no government to tell ya that. Yer bein' what they call a 'mark'. The goofballs are gonna take all yer money if ya let 'em. A sucker's born every minute, and yer bein' one.

A lot of folks need to learn how to hunt, kill and put a chicken in their own damned pots. Orphans, widows, the disabled, and the elderly get first go at free chickens from the government.

A gun in every holster, along with required firearms saftey, courses will be mandatory for all citizens. It will take two to five years for the Dawrin Effect to thin out the utterly stupid and the insanely disrespectful. The body count should go down after that. Crooks will think twice about any criminal activity. The Darwin Effect will work especially well with them over the first two-five years. Anyone caught usin' a weapon in the commission of a crime will receive mndatory sentences in the prison nearest them.

Yeah, I know. I like less government, but ya gotta start somewhere. It's a mess out there.

Education: Ya don't pass, ya don't graduate. Ya can't teach, go get another job. It's a two way street, learnin' and teachin', but the student can't learn it if they ain't bein' taught. Learn English. Yer in America now. Every child and student shall learn the Declaration of Independence by heart and they shall have a working knowledge of The Constituton of the US. If they don't, they don't graduate.

Illegal immigration: It's illegal. That means the borders are closed. Yer breaking the law. Go home. More money for protection of the borders will be a part of my platform. If yer visa runs out. Go home. Ya don't wanna go home, apply fer citizenship. Yer breakin' the law. Don't throw a fit if ya get busted for it. Illegal aliens do not receive the benefits or rights of citizenship. Go home. Do it right, or go somewhere else.

It ain't racisim. It's illegal. Learn the difference.

I like the Navy just fine the way it is. However, the next time one of 'em tries to get rid of the Marine Corps, we'll just put the Marine Corps in charge of warfighting for the nation. The rest of 'em can work for, and be accountable to the Corps fer a bit.

Job creations. I already addressed two aspects of that above. Illegal immigration and high taxes on manufacturing. Stop both, there'll be more jobs inna nation. Don't worry. Kids that don't want to pass school will be more than willin' to take over workin' in restaraunts, fast food joints, and farm jobs.

I propose a balanced budget. Period. Congress and the Senate don't wanna blanced budget, they all go to jail. They're stealin' from the citizens of this great nation. They're thieves. No loopholes, no deals, no nuthin'. The people can hire someone else to work for 'em inna halls of the Capitol. Speakin' of Congress...pass the law yer workin' on. No more feedin' at the trough. No more coat-tail laws attached to other bills.

The US has too many dollars floatin' around the world that can't be backed up. Bring 'em home. That will strengthen the dollar.

Foreign policy. Keep it simple stoopid-head. Ya don't want us there, we're gone. See ya later. Some asshole tyrant or dictator takes over and yer inna strategic position that might be used to launch an attack against us, we're invadin' and we're keepin' yer country. Ya don't have to worry about illegally immigratin' to the US then. Ya run a terroist attack against a US citizen, yer gonna pay. Period. Ya let someone run a terrorist attack against the US from yer country, yer gonna pay. Period.

NOBODY and I do mean nobody gets any money out of us til our own citizens are taken care of first. You can have what's leftover. It's our money. Deal with it.

Anyone who carries a firearm across the borders into the US is a military aggressor. They will be dealt with as such. ANY nation who cannot control their own citizens in such a fashion as to not teach them respect for the borders of other nations...well...don't be surprised if said foreign citizens are treated as foreign aggressors and terrorists. You have launched a war against the economy of this nation. The welfare of our citizens comes first.


Gimme another one!

Well, I told ya I was a bit right of center, didn't I? Did you know that Pat Paulsen is running again? I stand a pretty good chance against him...

Ya don't have to agree with me none! I do expect ya to think some, though. So it's early! Think anyway! SOme of ya figger I been talkin' about huntin' or pick-em-trucks lately. Man, get a grip, will ya? Open yer eyes! There's more a goin' on around here than ya think there is!

Warm up yer coffee, folks! It's a new day! we got another chance to get 'er right! We got another opportunity to get 'er all sorted out!

President...shoot, I thought writin' a book was a pain inna butt...

[jchristin]

Hey Warren,

You have written a fantastic platform on which to launch your bid for the presidentcy.

However, if you note which page number it got placed on in this forum....well....lets hope it will bring you luck!
:cd:

[wrbones]

http://www.patriotfiles.com/forum/sh...threadid=37903

[BLUEHAWK]

Serves ya right !

[the humper]

There is a limit to any good thing. In the morning is great, but can you just imagine 24/7 with the rascal!!!!
SF
NC

[BLUEHAWK]

No, frankly I canNOT imagine such a thing... but if'n it were possible, I sure WOULD like a chance to speak with Dubya over some coffee of a mornin'... and I believe he would like that too.

(He gets extra bennies since he were a fly guy

[Desdichado]

Originally posted by wrbones
Learn English.

Ya mean words like 'irony'?

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

[wrbones]

Originally posted by Desdichado

Ya mean words like 'irony'?

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

LMAO. That was cold! LOL.

Of course, if ya read up on linguistics inna US, ya might find that there's about a hundred-odd English languages bein' spoken inna US...and I speak one of 'em! ;D Dropped g's and all! The etymology of the regional so-called dialects inna U.S. is pretty interestin' readin'...

[wrbones]

How's THAT fer a shot across the bows!