Morning Coffee! ;)

[wrbones]

Hey, Preacher! Yer a doin' 'er wrong.

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyways? Coffee?s on, and is it good this mornin?, too! Ya best grab a cup and get yerself some. Ya gotta have yer eyes open some ?fore ya face the day, ya know. Paper?ll be along after a bit, I reckon. I gots first dibs onna funny pages too! Speakin? of funny pages?I?m past due to scare hell outta the paperboy again? Well, I just been too busy to do ?er is all!

What? Yeah, I?m a little bit pensive this mornin?. Fer one thing I don?t know how I?m ever gonna beat that bit about Mr. Grinch? I?m glad I got that song goin? through my head, though. That Wizard of Oz stuff was startin? to get on my nerves! Yeah. Think about it. A week of Wizard of Oz tunes a runnin? through yer head? Hey! I got that book on Chesty by LtCol Jon Hoffman back from the last person I lent it too. Ya wanta read ?er, lemme know. I?ll send it to ya when I get a minute. When ya get done with ?er, just send it on to another Marine. Ya need to read both of them books on him. There?s stuff in both books that ain?t inna other ?un.

Well, I reckon? What?re we a gonna visit over this mornin?, anyway? Well, I got an idea, but I ain?t done a studyin? it up yet. It?s been awhile. I?m a doin? a refresher on ?er. Oh, yeah. Fer that feller that figgers I use a bastardized form of English around here? I still think yer a bigot. Yer own words prove it. My first response to ya stands as written. We had a nice visit though?aside from him inferrin? that I was a bastard and me a callin? him a bigot, that is. I know who my Daddy is. His name is the Lord God of Hosts. That feller just tried real hard to pull the wool over my eyes later on is all. He?s one of them fellers got an education and all of his buds are just like he is. That?s what he said, anyways. ?I don?t know how a feller can ever learn nuthin? new that a way, myself?

Here?s somethin? I saw onna ?net t?other day when I was a lookin? fer somethin? else. I ain?t been to them churches in awhile, and it seems a lot of ?em are a goin? through another teachin? spell. Seems now they?re a teachin?, ?Don?t touch God?s Anointed.? They be a meanin? don?t be arguin? with them preachers or askin? ?em any questions about nuthin?. Ain?t inna Book that a way, ya know. Inna Book, it?s all about don?t lay a hand on ?em. Don?t be a beatin? on ?em. Don?t be a shootin? or a stabbin? ?em or such as that. Don?t say nuthin? about not askin? ?em any questions about nuthin?. Shoot. Folks asked Jesus questions alla time! If?n He wasn?t Anointed of God, I don?t know who was! Ya see? a feller who?s been a workin? fer the Boss man, and loves Him some, is a gonna be this here way about ?er. ?Hey, preacher! Yer a doin? ?er wrong and here it is inna Book to prove it!? The preacher who really loves the Boss man is a gonna be right on his knees, if?n not on his face, askin? God?s fergiveness. If?n he ain?t in tears, he?ll be damn near in tears over it, too. ?Oh my Lord God. I am so sorry.? He loves God, ya see. He don?t wanta disappoint the Boss man if?n he can help it?because he loves God. The preacher a doin? ? about half right ain?t gonna tell ya to shut up and sit down and don?t ask him any questions. He might tell ya to wait ?til after the service, but he?ll listen up!

One of them fellers t?other day made mention that Jesus left this ol? earth and didn?t leave no organizational rules fer the believers to set things up with. I overlooked it at the time, but it fits right in right here. Love one another as He has loved you.

?Yer a mean one. Mr. Grinch.? That one?s a gonna be stuck in my head fer a month, now. What ya wanna bet?

No, I ain?t done with that authority thing inna church. Shoot we ain?t even got started yet!

John, Chapter thirteen, verse twelve.

?So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.?

Back then, they had bathhouses. Most folks couldn?t afford one of their own. They was awful expensive to set up and take care of, too. In any case, they done a lot of business and visitin? with one another at the local bathhouse. Some of them places was fancier than others, too. Anyways, ya get done with yer business and a visitin? and yer bath, ya got dried up, got dressed, and ya generally walked home. Remember. Only rich folks had horses and such. Walkin? home meant ya got yer feet dirty. Ya get to home; ya had to wash up yer feet to be clean again. If?n ya had a servant, yer servant washed yer feet for ya. Not everyone had servants, and some folks wouldn?t a knowed what to do with one if?n they did. That?s why Jesus asked them disciples if?n they knew what he had just done. He took his clothes off and was runnin? around in His underwear. He humbled Himself before mere men? The Master. Lord. And soon coming King?on his knees doin? a servant?s work. For men who didn?t have a clue ?and couldn?t buy a vowel if their lives depended on it.

Now you folks today a washin? each other?s feet done missed the point. Yer a tryin? to be all spiritual ?and ya ain?t a doin? nuthin? but lookin? silly. You wanta do the same sort of thing today; go wash someone else?s dishes for ?em. Take their trash out. Do their shoppin?. Clean their toilet. Scrub their floor. Straighten up their garage, shop, closets or shed for ?em. Take care of their yard. Babysit their dog. Run errands for them. That sort of thing. Be a servant.

?If, I then, your Lord and Master, have been your servant??

Some places, up until the late eighteen hundreds, a servant took the punishment for his master when his master done screwed up. Sometimes?a servant took the death penalty in his master?s place?

Matthew, Chapter Twenty, verse twenty-five.

They was all arguin? over who was gonna be in charge after Jesus got his self crucified and went back to heaven? Them disciples spent three years with Him and still didn?t have clue? Buncha idjits, anyway? Means they?s hope fer you and me. If?n that bunch could sort it out; it means that you can, too.

?But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.?

Read those verses again and again and again and again until they sink in, oh, self-proclaimed Man of God, oh most anointed of men, and chosen and anointed of yourself. Oh man of God who Lords it over those he is here to serve. I tell you if you lord it over others in the body of Christ, you are no man of God, but you are of your father the devil. It?s in the Book. You might want to read it once in awhile.

Jesus came not to lord it over man. He came to serve, both God and man. How can you place yourself above Him who died in your place? How? If there is any love among you, there will be no division and strife. If there is any love of God among you, you will each be the servant of all, and no man will exercise authority over you in any wise. The gifts of the Spirit are not hierarchical. You bunch of friggin? idjits. Liars. Thieves!

Read the Book. I do not lie. When those believers came to the Apostles and laid their riches and the feet of those men, did those Apostles then buy themselves fancy wardrobes and horses and mansions and many servants and gold and jewelry? No they did not.

What did they know that you don?t? Dispensationalism? You are a liar and your father is the father of lies. Denominationalism? You divide the body of Christ among yourselves that you may grow rich upon it. Thieves. Heartless men and women of the god of this world is who you are. Men and women who whore after the things of this world at the expense of those you are supposed to be here to serve. Less than prostitutes, for prostitutes at least provide services for what they require. You won?t even give one another a holy kiss in love? In that, you treat your flocks like a John treats a prostitute.

Get on your face before the Most High God and repent. Tear your hearts before Him. Cry and wail and scream with sorrow for the harm with which you have harmed others, and with absolute appall at your temerity that you have placed yourself higher than the God of Heaven. Repent! ?For you have made null the sacrifice of the Servant of the most High.

I haven?t even started preachin?. Read the Book. You will see the words that I have spoken there. Judge yourself before God does it for you.

You wanta be in charge inna body of Christ? Yer not obeyin? Jesus. ?It SHALL NOT be so among you.? No CEO?s, no board of directors, no one orderin? you to sit down and just give ?em yer money, yer investments and yer estates. The leader among you will be scrubbin? yer toilet for ya?and he?ll be plumb pleased to do it, too. A leader like that loves God more than anything else, ya see. The leader among you knows that if?n Jesus was a servant to men, that he should be no less, and it?ll be an honor to him. It?ll be a great honor to him.

Warm up yer coffee, folks! It?s a new day. We?ve got another opportunity to get ?er right. We?ve got another chance to get it all sorted out. Make sure ya take advantage of it, will ya?

You wanna see true revival? Pay attention. I got a couple of ideas onna matter? Preacher?revival?ll start?true revival? when you give up authority over others?and become a servant? a man who?s plumb pleased and honored to scrub toilets?

One of these days I?d like to really get to preachin? around here. This is just watered down milk?and yer chokin? on it! Ask yourself one question. What man did Jesus ever exercise authority over? He exercised authority over demons. Not men. Read the Book oncet in awhile, folks. You just might learn ya somethin??

Why am I beginnin? to preach like this all of a sudden? Because it?s the only hope that this nation has. Repent. Change your ways. Call upon the name of the Lord.

If you think I?m a Grinch this mornin??you need to go back and read up on what God?s like when He?s really, really, pissed. Give me the shivers just thinkin? about it? Jesus inna Temple with them money changers wasn?t even the pre-game show?

?I made a vow before God years and years and years ago. I told Him that I would never darken the doors of a church of men again, in life or in death. There is only one way that I will do so.?

I shared the contents of that vow with some men a few months ago. The rest of the vow goes like this.

?The only way I will ever enter a church of men again is if they ask me to preach.?

I figger that?ll keep me outta them places men falsely call church for the rest of my life. I submit to no man who is not in turn submitted to me. I am taught of the Holy Spirit. Read the Book. If you have anything left resembling a brain in your head?you?ll get there.

[wrbones]

Inna meantime?

?You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. Mr. Griii-inch.?
?Given the choice between the two of you?I'd take the seasick crocodi-iile.?

?Shoot?I could preach off?n that song fer a month?

Oh! Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin? anyways? Coffee?s on! It ain?t too bad this mornin?, neither. Best grab a cup and get yerself some I?d reckon! Feller?s gotta have his eyes open ?fore he hits the door inna mornin?. Paper?ll be along after a bit. I gots first dibs onna funny pages, too!

Let?s see. What?ve I been a doin? here??sides makin? folks mad at me, I mean? I done had some folks get kinda silly on me lately. Couple months ago, the one lady near begged me to send her Morning Coffee in her email every day? Yesterday, in great big letters, she asked me to stop a doin? ?er. Other feller was a sendin? me stuff from his online 501(c)3 Christian bookstore website? Done it fer months, too. I been a sharin? coffee with him inna mornin? since shortly after he started in on a tryin? to sell me stuff. I told him back then if?n he was a gonna send me stuff, I was gonna return the favor. He didn?t say a word to me personal-like ?til yesterday. ?Just them ads is all?

Well, after a visitin? over coffee yesterday, he figgered he?d leave me alone if?n I left him alone. He wrote a big long polite note about ?er, too! He got all into about tryin? to figger out which one of us got the biggest dick?who was smartest and most educated, who was most blessed of God and what all? His ministry reaches this many hundreds of millions of people, and they do alla this kinda business in alla these different nations. Spreadin? God?s word, ya know. He didn?t like what I hadda say about preachers, 501(c)3s, stealin? from the flock to make themselves rich, and lordin? it over other believers, ya see. ?Shame really. Nice feller, seemed like, too! Ya see?he done shit all over justification by faith through grace by a doin? that.

Ya start in a justifyin? yerself, ya done pooped onna Boss?s kid?pooped right on Him, cross and all! Ain?t no love fer Him in that, ya know. Christ and Him crucified. We got no justification of our own, ya see. Well, think about ?er some! If?n you was to stand before God today to be judged, what excuses would ya have ready to give the Boss man fer anything that ya ever done? Think real hard about ?er fer a minute? Ain?t nobody else responsible fer nuthin? ya ever done but you, neither! It was always yer choice inna matter how ya acted. Always! Now yer a standin? there without Jesus on yer side on top of it! Ya done justified yerself, ya see. By justifyin? yerself in any way, shape, or form, ya done said ya don?t need Jesus or the salvation He done offered ya free of charge. That feller was a cryin? big ol? crocodile tears, don?t you a know?

You can stand up in church all day long a praisin? God, and you can go to every church in town every time one of ?em?s got the door open?you can accept Him as yer personal savior! The minute you done justified yerself over anything, any least little thing?you done denied Christ and Him crucified. You told Him and the Boss man that ya didn?t need ?em fer anything no more. Read the Book oncet in awhile. You?ll see what I?m a sayin?. Ya can?t lose yer salvation, ya say? Nope. Not if ya love God with all of yer heart, all of yer soul, all of yer mind and all of yer body?I don?t figger ya can. You can sure give yer salvation up if?n ya don?t love Him?which might mean ya were never really saved to begin with? You can declare Him Lord and Savior all ya want, but if yer a justifyin? yerself, you don?t really love anybody, let alone God? Yer a livin? in fear, and they ain?t no fear in Jesus Christ and Him crucified ?for you.

You can have a theological PhD divinity degree, be licensed by the government to preach, and have yer own 501(c)3 ministry with yer name onna front of buildin?s all over the world! You can reach millions upon millions upon millions of folks every day fer God. You can sell tens of thousands of books about God each and every year. You can visit with alla the movers and shakers on Wall Street, and in D.C., and around the world. You can have alla them fellers a jumpin? with every word ya spout and every breath ya take?but if ya justify yerself in any way? you, my poor soul?are lost? And ya probably weren?t saved to begin with. If there is not the love of God in you?if there is no love for the brothers in Christ in you? Nope. You ain?t saved. Don?t matter how many millions of folks you done told about The Lord God Almighty. If you justify yerself in any way, you deny the love of God given freely for you.

?You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. Mr. Griii-inch.?

?Given the choice between the two of you?I'd take the seasick crocodi-iile.?

Many of you cannot handle the truth. The pure, unadulterated word of God. I am deeply concerned for you. I am deeply concerned for this nation. If I have made you angry? then in some small way, I am glad. It means that you might begin to think?to change?to turn around and look at the path you have been traveling. Maybe?hopefully?you will come to understand true repentance. A heart?s repentance. An Acceptance of the sacrifice made for you? The justification made for you? Freely? Out of love for you? In order that you never, ever, have to worry about justifying yourself before God?ever again.

Me? The only excuse I got is Christ and Him crucified. After alla these years a knowin? Him and a visitin? with the Boss man, and a screwin? things up sixteen different ways from Sunday?it ain?t been but the last few years that it really done hit me just how much God loves me. About ?nuff to bring tears to yer eyes, that is, and I ain?t known fer cryin? over stuff.

It?s a new day, folks. We?ve got another chance to get ?er right. We?ve got another opportunity to get ?er all sorted out. Make sure ya take advantage of it?will ya?

That feller who put a cross in a bottle of urine didn?t do nuthin? near as bad as what some of you folks do every day of every year! He was a really just usin? symbols to show how most folks really do treat God and His Boy. You got all mad at Him?fer pointin? out the truth.

Repentance? Aww? That?s easy! You just apologize to the Boss man and mean it with everything in ya! Then ya just don?t do it that a way no more! Inna meantime?He?s a figgerin? if?n yer an unrepentant Grinch?or a sea-sick crocodile.

Oh. It don?t haveta be the Grinch. You pick somethin?, and I?ll preach ya on it, Lord willin'. Folks been a visitin? over coffee with us fer a spell knows that ain?t brag. Just fact.

What?ve I been a doin? here? The way in which I use the language around here? It?s a shock sometimes, ain?t it? It ain?t always pretty, and it ain?t always comfortable, is it? It?s called CPR ?and Church?yer dyin?. I?m a doin? everything I know to try and get ya saved?from yourselves?

[wrbones]

Why do I bother

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyways? Coffee?s on, and is it good this mornin?, too! Ya best grab a cup and get ya some. Paper?ll be along inna bit. You can stick them funny pages where the sun don?t?

Oh?sorry. I been a bit frustrated the last couple days is all. I can?t see where I?m a doin? any good at all ?round here. Oh I get them real pretty notes that folks tells me good things, but that can be like watchin? folks clappin? politely when they?re at a show they ain?t real interested in. I get some of that every day. Only a couple-three of ?em here and there that I set any store by, and they?s mostly folks some of you idjit?s?d say I was ?Submitted? to. Ignorant kids anyways.

Then I got my ol? lady that C.S. Lewis book? she got to readin? it late yesterday evenin?, and a quotin? stuff out of it. I just made the mistake of askin? her what she thought of them particular bits she was readin? out loud. Everything she said was in total opposition to what ol? man Lewis was writin? about? and the Ol? lady was really enjoyin? readin? his stuff? I see the same thing ?I don?t know how many times a day around here. And then?then I get scared for my life?for I am forced time after time after time after time to explain and to justify myself?

But Bones?keep sendin? me Morning Coffee, would ya? I really like it?

If I can reach one of you?just one?by being forced to justify myself? the loss of my own salvation will have been worth it. Yes. The price will have been worth it for all time to come? For to justify myself is to deny Christ?

But there are days?there are days? And yesterday was one of them? Morning Coffee very nearly?more closely than you can imagine?it very nearly saw it?s last cup of joe? Why am I wasting my time?they like it, but they do not understand a word?

Later yesterday evening?I again had to justify myself before man? and again?and yet again?

They all like Morning Coffee?but they do not understand a word that I say?

After that long drawn out defense of my faith yesterday ?and daily? I must ask you all? if you do not understand what I say?and then I must explain the use of each word to you?over and over and over and over?and justifying myself?endangering my own life? ?why?why do I bother?why do I endanger myself daily?

You don?t change. You don?t listen. You don?t grow and learn. You ask me to feed you ?one spoon at a time?and only of the ice cream and of the cake? You like the jokes and the laughs?and you hate the truths?not knowing that in every bit of humor that I use...there is a truth so deep?

One group liked the way I visit around here. I saw them asking each other, ?What do we call ourselves that won?t offend anyone?? ?and Rome is burning around them?


Why?

You cannot be reached with any method known to God or to man.

Those in that group that I speak of? Why?they are mostly conservative Christians?

My word to all like that:

Put out the fires you stupid sons of Satan. We?ll worry about what a coat of arms says if any of us lives.

Why do I bother?

After seventeen years and my own wife does not see?how can I bring any light to you? She like my jokes?but like you?she does not like it when I speak the truth? I am married to the Bride of Christ?as she is this very day?

[wrbones]

I have not even begun children.

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyways? Coffee?s on, and is it good this mornin?, too! You get yerself a cup and get ya some. Paper?ll be along after a bit. You can have the funny pages. I?m done with ?em. I got things about sorted out, now. Ayup. Paradigm change, huh? Get used to it.

Well, here we go. I got things about figgered now. I feel better about some things after t?other day. I just warned a buncha ya not to have nuthin? to do with me. I was real worried about ya fer the consequences of what I been a preachin?. I had the one feller ask if?n I was alright? (Meanin? he was questionin? my sanity.) Ayup. I?m fine. I done alla my research, ya see. I came to this conclusion rationally, logically, and with cold calculation in view of the evidence. I have a very small portion of that evidence posted on the Website. When ya do the analysis of the data, there is only one rational conclusion that can be reached. Simply put: Mankind is screwed. In view of the evidence, there is no hope for mankind but this: Repent and be saved. Period.

Some folks don?t like that simple message?and they been a goin? after me. It ain?t bad yet?just a sign of what?s comin?. Ya see?I?m a fixin? to upset the applecart. I will say whatever is necessary that is true that will get through to you or to anyone else. Do you want to argue these things with me? If you are a rational person, I?m afraid that you cannot hope to win that argument. I have never lost such an argument. I do not challenge you. I speak the truth. The piss-poor part is?that presently, there are no winners?just losers.

So. In view of that?here we go.

People? if your church is set up under a 501(c)3...get out of it. Repent. You are doomed if you remain. It is a church of the government. It is not of God. Repent and be saved.

People? if your church spends more on staff payrolls than it does on feeding and clothing the hungry. Leave it. It is doomed. Repent and be saved.

If your church spends more on building programs, marketing, or TV and radio broadcasts, than it does taking care of the poor widows, the orphan, and the cold and hungry among you... Leave it. It is doomed. Repent and be saved.

If your church preaches an acceptance of sinful behavior?abortion, homosexuality, and other like sin. Leave it. It is doomed. Repent and be saved.

If your church preaches salvation and forgiveness for one but not for another. Leave it. It is doomed. Repent and be saved.

If the leaders of your church make all of their income from the church and they make twice what the least among you make from your jobs and careers?leave it. It is doomed. Repent and you will be saved.

If your church orders you to submit to its leaders?and those leaders are not submitted to you in love?leave it. It is a church of Satan. Not of God. Repent. You will be saved.

If you must hold elections to do anything in your church. Leave it. It is doomed. You have placed the will of men before the will of God.
It is not of God. Repent and you will be saved.

If your church judges others but justifies it?s own self-same activities. Leave it. It is not of God. It is doomed. Repent and you will be saved.

If your church places it?s own rituals and traditions above the Word of the Living God, leave it. It is doomed. It is a church of Satan, and not of God. Repent and you will be saved.

If your church teaches that the gifts of the Holy Spirit and of the Spirit?s manifestations are of Satan, and you have accepted and believed those teachings, you are doomed. There is no repentance acceptable, nor is there any sacrifice available. You are judged already. May God find some small mercy to bestow upon you?but I do not think it so?

If your church teaches Dispensationalism in the form of ?That was then, this is now? ?leave it immediately. It is doomed. They have denied God and they have denied his Messiah. Repent and you will be saved.

If you allow leaders among you who are active in their sin, you are doomed. Leave that church immediately. Among these sins are:

Seven_Deadly_SinsPride (vanity) ? a desire to be important or attractive to others or excessive love of self (holding self out of proper position toward God or fellows; Dante's definition was "love of self perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbor")
Envy (jealousy); resentment of others for their possessions (Dante: "Love of one's own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs")
Wrath (anger) ? inappropriate (unrighteous) feelings of hatred, revenge or even denial, as well as punitive desires outside of justice (Dante's description was "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite")
Sloth (also accidie, acedia) ? laziness; idleness and wastefulness of time allotted
Laziness is condemned because:
Others have to work harder
It is disadvantageous for oneself, because useful work does not get done
An equilibrium: one does not produce much, but one does not need much either (in Dante's theology, sloth is the "failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind, and all one's soul" - specific examples including laziness, cowardice, lack of imagination, complacency, and irresponsibility)
Avarice (covetousness, greed) ? a desire to possess more than one has need or use for (or, according to Dante, "excessive love of money and power")
Gluttony ? wasting of food, either through overindulgence in food, drink or intoxicants, misplaced desire for food for its sensuality, or withholding food from the needy ("excessive love of pleasure" was Dante's rendering)
Lust ? unlawful sexual desire, such as desiring sex with a person one is not married to. Fornication (Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," thereby detracting from the love due God). It should be noted that in some lists of the Seven Deadly Sins, lust is replaced with luxuries or luxury.

Leave that church immediately. It is doomed. Repent and you shall be saved.

I have not even begun children.

Warm up your coffee. For today, we must allow you time to digest the meat tat has been given.

It is a new day. You do have a new opportunity to get it sorted out. You do have another chance to get it right. Please, for the love of God ?take advantage of it.

[wrbones]

Originally Posted by Bones

Let me 'splain? No, there is too much. Lemme sum up?

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyways? Coffee?s on, and it ain?t too bad this mornin?, either. Ya best grab yerself a cup and get ya some! Lord knows ya needa wake up! Paper?ll be ?long after a bit, I reckon. Naw?I ain?t in no hurry. You go ahead and read it.

A few of you folks done got a might upset with me yesterday. Some of ya, I thought ya ought to a knowed better by now! I mean... I expect it outta the new guys? Like I told the one FNG ?wasn?t a thing I said yesterday that I hadn?t said inna hunderd different times and places a visitin? around here last year! I just put it all together all to oncet is all. Bein? the end of the year, it was time to sum things up some, ya see?

Oh. The FNG done told me you folks hadn?t signed on around here to hear me preach alla time, and he was some disappointed in me. I hadda remind him that he wasn?t payin? me fer my coffee to begin with, and then I told him that he was a FNG, and he just didn?t know no better. I do this every year around the holidays. I don?t think he meant nuthin? by it. He just don?t know no better yet? Shoot?some of ya thought this was all about bein? funny. ?I still get invites to join humor websites and groups? Them folk?s be real disappointed in me, I figger. Ya see? I don?t fit in none of yer boxes folks. Nary a one. I?m a people like you, but that?s about as far as she goes. I?m me, ya see.

Other thing is? where I?m some different than most of you folks? I know how to think? some? oncet in awhile? on rare occasion? Onna page, I can make words do some weird things now and then. In person, I can kinda sorta do the same thing? be a visitin? with ya back and forth, and you?ll be a thinkin? we ain?t a talkin? about alla that, and then a light goes on for ya? ya get this glazed, shocked, surprised, look in yer face?I just sit back and smile?if it?s real funny, I will most certainly laugh at ya! ?buncha ignorant kids anyways. Done think ya know stuff?when ya don?t know a damned to hell thing at all?

May the Lord Bless and keep you in this year to come. May His eyes always be upon you. May your name be written continually and always upon the palms of His mighty hands. May His courage and strength be yours continually. May His joy infuse you each and every day. May you seek His face always, and in all things. May His mercy and goodness be upon you. May His peace be yours forever. May the strength of His arms be in your arms. May you walk in His goodness and righteousness forever. I speak these words to you in the love of A holy God for His many children.

Warm up yer coffee, folks. It?s a new day. We?ve got another chance to get it right. We?ve got another opportunity to get it right. Make sure ya take advantage of it.

And for you FNG?s around here? Let me 'splain? ?No, there is too much. Lemme sum up. ?A holiday blessing from Bones is just a part of the deal. Some very few of you who are mature know why I do this thing among you.

[wrbones]

It?s real scientific.

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyways? Coffee?s on, and it ain?t too bad this mornin?, either. Ya best grab a cup and get ya some. Paper?ll be along directly I reckon. I?ll read them funny pages later!

Well?seems a feller that took after me t?other day took his self a fall. I done fergive ?em and left it all up to the Boss man, ya know. I feel bad for him. What? Ya don?t think the Boss?d do somethin? like that? What about this verse, that passage and t?other chapter? You need to read the whole thing in context?and remember that the Book was written for, to, and about believers. ?and Jesus? Him keepin? His mouth shut when he did, the way He did?was so that scripture might be fulfilled? What about them other fellers inna Book a bein? martyred? Well, once yer caught, yer caught. Just well make best use of the time ya can? Fer example, you notice ol? Paul kept a bobbin? and a weavin?, and inna end even the Romans couldn?t catch ?im ?til he actually went to Rome hisself, so to speak, and was preachin?. If?n he hadn?t called on his rights as a Roman citizen he woulda walked anyways?

Ya see? the payback the Boss gets on folks ain?t always out front the way ya think it is? Now I ain?t anti-Italian?but here?s what I see? A once mighty kingdom and nation on this earth. A nation that not only conquered, but ruled many other nations and kingdoms through her influence. The world was hers, and non other?s?for centuries. A nation that persecuted those who loved God?and paid dearly for it. Many years later, she became the home to the greatest of those among the believers and followers of God. A gall upon Rome?for her gods were of no avail in the length of time? and Rome has her memories of her past greatness well intact?a gall upon her memories?and ?though she has tried many times, and in many different ways?she cannot begin to be anything but the merest shadow of what she once was among men. A gall and a fire upon her memory? A nation of power and of culture?destroyed by absolute barbarians. And the nations of the earth know of her past and of her present as well?and they say among themselves, ?Oh her past greatness was a glory to behold! ?But what is she today?? ?We shall be kind to her and we shall pity her.? A gall upon the hearts of her people? Oh, and there is so much more than this to see for a thinking man?a retribution for the sake of God?s anointed? that cannot but leave one amazed and in awe! A forever retribution and a forever re-payment that is so awful as to leave one amazed. Her influence among men and nations is small, yet Her heart and her soul have been left intact?that she might drink of this bitter, bitter, gall?forever?for she dared to touch God?s anointed.

In more recent times, Germany sought to destroy the anointed of God from the face of the earth. She spent forty years under their heels for her troubles. The strict legalities and the Feasts bear me out here. The original occupation government was a part of the war, you see? Forty years?because she dared to touch God?s anointed.

Look around you people. Look closely and look well. Beware those who truly are anointed of God?for if you touch the least hair on their head? God will most assuredly?re-pay.

Myself?I?d been tempted, but I don?t know if I?d a dropped someone offa the side of no buildin? like that, but that?s just me. The Boss was in charge. That was His business.

Things been a goin? hard on ya? You might wanta look round and see if?n ya ain?t been a bad mouthin? someone ya shouldn?t a. ?even if ya consider yerself a believer.

Warm up yer coffee, folks. It?s a new day! We?ve got another chance to get ?er right! We?ve got another opportunity to get ?er all sorted out. Make sure ya take advantage of ?er.

Am I God?s anointed? Well?I jut know that when someone jumps me like that?and I fergive ?em, ask God to bless ?em, and turn ?em over to the Boss to visit with?things happen if?n they don?t repent? It?s real scientific, and the results are the same time after time after time after time after time after time after time?


Forgive?bless those who curse you?vengeance is mine saith the Lord?


?do any of you jugs actually read the Bible?

[wrbones]

I ain?t Mary Poppins, and yer not three years old.

Get over it.

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyways? Coffee?s on, and it ain?t so bad, neither. Ya best grab a cup and get ya some. Paper?ll be along after a bit, I reckon. You can have first go at ?er. I gots some things to figger on?

I have got to admit that I am just about out of patience?Here?s the deal?I lay things out straight up and down without any sugar coatin? for ya t?other day, things that I done said a hunderd times over the last year ?and folks been a visitin? with me all along got all offended at me over it. Don?t make no sense. Then I got folks like the one feller yesterday. I was goin? on explain? about how Ol? man T. Jefferson was a declared believer inna Son of the Living God, and he couldn?t figger out what Ol T.J. meant inna Declaration of Independence when he mentioned Nature?s God? Don?t make no sense. Had folks that threaten the lives of a sittin? President and Vice President try to get me kicked offa the net?cause they disagree with me fer stickin? up fer my nation and fer my faith. Don?t make no sense? Got folk?s claimin? to be believer?s a sayin? ?If?n I get to heaven it?ll be by the skin of my teeth.? Don?t make no sense. Yer either a believer or ya ain?t. Period.

Had one little lady tell about how them folks who wrote the Declaration of Independence came over here just before they wrote it?and when I told her she was an ignorant little girl?the mod jumped my case?don?t make no sense? she was actin? like a little girl?and she was ignorant! Wouldn?t listen none?wouldn?t read none?and wanted to tell everyone just exactly what she thought about matters, too. Had a preacher onna phone a bein? all uptight with me??til I told him that if?n he loved God, my life was his?don?t make no sense?feller had no joy? How can you claim to be called of God and love Him and have no joy?

Had another little lady tell all about how God this, and the Bible that, and none of it was true?and when I called her on it, and offered to politely discuss it offline, the group owner pulled my comment fer bein? divisive?but the other lady?s anti-Christian rant wasn?t being divisive.and trouble-makin?. Don?t make no sense? So much fer callin? themselves Hope America, I figger? Ya see?without God?they ain?t no hope?

Posted a column from the archives onna website I hadn?t been to fer a spell. Feller jumped right on it. It seems that my patriotism don?t count?because of his patriotism? Don?t make no sense.

What in the hell is wrong with you people? I have yet to lose an argument with you people over anything of any importance. And I am just about to lose my temper on top of it.

I stop playing Mary Poppins with you for onwe minute, and the very first thing you say, ?Warren, are you alright?? ?Warren, are you sure you want to go there?? Warren, did you go offa yer meds??

No, you stupid SOB, I just spoke to you like I was a rough man of God; I spoke to you for one split second as if you were a fellow adult onna face of this earth, and you couldn?t handle the unvarnished truth. ?and I?m the sick bastard inna sitrep? IT DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE, ya dipstick. (Go ahead. Ask me why I keep callin ya a dipstick. You just might be real surprised. [yer the measuring? stick I use to tell just how screwed up our society is])

It?s a good thing it?s a new day. It?s a good thing we?ve got another chance to get it right. It?s a good thing we?ve got another opportunity to get it all sorted out. You, by God, need all the chances you can get.

I?m not Marry Poppins and yer not three years old. Get over it.

This little rant? It?s not a rant. They call it a rebuke, ya moron.

[wrbones]

JULES: ?If you find my answers frightening, Vincent, you should cease askin' scary questions.?

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyways? Coffee?s on and it ain?t too bad this mornin?. Ya best grab yerself a cup and get yerself some. Paper?ll be along directly, I reckon. I gots first dibs onna funny pages! Well, I suppose I could let ya have first go at em. I got some considerin? to do to this mornin??

There?s this one Website claims to be fer patriots? ?Had a feller talk me into postin? over to there again. So I visited there, and I looked ?er over, and man?things done changed some, I?m a tellin? ya?so I figgered I?d put ?em to the test. They done claimed to be a buncha patriots who wanted to be all about rage and takin? the country back, ya know? I put up a thread about the truth about Separation of Church and State. That was some kinda fun, I?m a tellin? ya. I warned ?em they best not be a sittin? down to the table with me if?n they didn?t know exactly what they was talkin? about ?or they was a gonna get their butts handed to ?em. Well, they done got their butts handed to ?em?repeatedly and often?

The site owner finally pulled the thread?truth or no? He said it was too controversial. He was really, really, really, wantin? me to post Morning Coffee over there for him. I thought ?er over fer quite a little bit, and I finally sent him a little note. I hadda call him a Sunday Patriot, and I let him know that if?n he thought the truth on the separation of church and state was too much controversy, Morning Coffee was a gonna cause him all kinds a troubles, and I just couldn?t do that to him. I fergive him fer tryin? to fool me, and I spoke a blessin? to him over him and his?n. Dang near every thread on every forum on his site is plumb full of anti-American, anti-Christian stuff. Wasn?t no way Morning Coffee wasn?t gonna cause no uproar for him, ya know? I told him Morning Coffee was over to the Morning Coffee Website for folks that wasn?t into bein? lazy. Had a couple folks t?other day throwin? a fit, after I lost their emails, cause they wasn?t a gettin? Morning Coffee in their inbox inna mornin?. They?s days I?d grab folks like that by the throat if?n I could reach ?em. Shoot?wouldn?t hurt ?em none to cut off their oxygen like that. They ain?t thinkin? none anyways, don?t ya know?

Had that one feller t?other day askin? me questions? He kept gettin? scared at the answers he was a gettin?! What?re we gonna do? What?re we gonna do? Shoot. Don?t like the answers I give ya, don?t ask the questions, then!

There?s certain discussions regardin? faith and such like?well?if?n you sit down to the table with me?you best be ready to have yer ass handed to ya?just deal the cards and don?t bogart the JD is all? and if?n yer a gonna be askin? them kinda questions out in public?don?t get mad at me when ya embarrass yerself. I done warned ya ahead a time already?ya idjit kid, anyways?

Book don?t say not to drink, ya jughead, it just says not to be a drunken sot! Do you read that Book at all? ?or do you just make up verses as ya go along? (JULES: ?There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.")

That one liberal columnist that was on his anti-Christian rant inna newspaper t?other day? I challenged him to a debate. He?s a chicken. Yeller-belly. He ain?t got back to me yet.

I don?t care who ya are, or who you think ya are. That challenge is open to any and all comers. You cannot beat me. I don?t speak in arrogance. I just speak truth. You take the opposite of me when I stand up fer faith and pro America, I Will hand yer ass to ya?and I will be real glad and honored to oblige ya!

Warm up yer coffee, folks. It?s a new day. We?ve got another chance top get ?er right. We?ve got another opportunity top get ?er right. Just as well take advantage of ?er, I?d reckon.

When a fearful man looks for reasons not to be free. He will find them.

In the fight for what is right, if you do not stand now...then when?

[wrbones]

Just an American

?Mornin? folks! How the hell are ya this mornin?, anyway? Coffee?s on, and it ain?t too bad this mornin?, either. Get yerself a cup and get ya some. Paper?ll be along after a bit, I reckon. You can have first go at ?er too. I gots some thinkin? to do?

I done up a bit of scribblin? fer some Second Amendment activist folks and I put it up to here http://morningcoffee.net/modules.php...iewtopic&t=362 Seems some of them idjits done believed the MSM and the government over what they gotta say about Rick! Some people?s kids, I?m a tellin? ya! Musta been dropped on their heads when they was babies is the only thing I can figger? Well, it?s the only thing makes sense! Some of them folks is a gonna be mad at me. I been makin? a lot of folks mad at me lately. I reckon someone around here better get used to it, huh! It?s time to grow up, boys and girls. I ain?t a cuttin? yer meat fer ya anymore.

Let?s see? I got to thinkin? earlier when I was a goin? through my emails. I reckon that it?s plumb official now. Accordin? to the common mythologies of our times, I am a right-wing extremist. No matter that I consider myself a well-informed, rational, well-educated, logical, reasonable well-read and rather urbane individual. ?even if I do talk with a Mid-western vernacular! I believe in the God of the Bible, and I believe in The Constitution of The United States of America as it was written. I salute the flag. I know all the words to the pledge of allegiance I stand when the Star Bangled Banner is played, no matter how much it hurts my poor old knees. I even know some of the right words to it, too! I can even rationally, calmly, politely and calculatedly defend my nation and my beliefs in any debate?and win.

Ayup. I must be a right wing extremist, I reckon. I was shocked when the realization hit home. I honestly was. Ya see?until then?I thought I was just?an?American. Just?an American.

Warm up yer coffee, folks. It?s a new day. We?ve got another chance to get ?er right. We?ve got another opportunity to get ?er right. Make sure ya get ?er right.

[wrbones]

For those of you?who don?t want to hear the truth?

The Story Of The Three Bears

Once upon a time there were Three Bears, who lived together in a house of their own, in a wood. One of them was a Little Small Wee Bear, and one was a Middle-sized Bear, and the other was a Great Huge Bear. They had each a pot for their porridge,--a little pot for the Little Small Wee Bear, and a middle-sized pot for the Middle-sized Bear, and a great pot for the Great Huge Bear. And they had each a chair to sit in,--a little chair for the Little Small Wee Bear, and a middle-sized chair for the Middle-sized Bear, and a great chair for the Great Huge Bear. And they had each a bed to sleep in,--a little bed for the Little Small Wee Bear, and a middle-sized bed for the Middle-sized Bear, and a great bed for the Great Huge Bear.

One day, after they had made the porridge for their breakfast, and poured it into their porridge-pots, they walked out into the wood while the porridge was cooling, that they might not burn their mouths, by beginning too soon to eat it. And while they were walking, a little girl named Goldilocks came to the house. She had never seen the little house before, and it was such a strange little house that she forgot all the things her mother had told her about being polite: first she looked in at the window, and then she peeped in at the keyhole; and seeing nobody in the house, she lifted the latch. The door was not fastened, because the Bears were good Bears, who did nobody any harm, and never suspected that anybody would harm them. So Goldilocks opened the door, and went in; and well pleased she was when she saw the porridge on the table. If Goldilocks had remembered what her mother had told her, she would have waited till the Bears came home, and then, perhaps, they would have asked her to breakfast; for they were good Bears--a little rough, as the manner of Bears is, but for all that very good-natured and hospitable. But Goldilocks forgot, and set about helping herself.

So first she tasted the porridge of the Great Huge Bear, and that was too hot. And then she tasted the porridge of the Middle-sized Bear, and that was too cold. And then she went to the porridge of the Little Small Wee Bear, and tasted that: and that was neither too hot nor too cold, but just right; and she liked it so well, that she ate it all up.

Then Goldilocks sat down in the chair of the Great Huge Bear, and that was too hard for her. And then she sat down in the chair of the Middle-sized Bear, and that was too soft for her. And then she sat down in the chair of the Little Small Wee Bear, and that was neither too hard nor too soft, but just right. So she seated herself in it, and there she sat till the bottom of the chair came out, and down she came, plump upon the ground.

Then Goldilocks went upstairs into the bed- chamber in which the Three Bears slept. And first she lay down upon the bed of the Great Huge Bear; but that was too high at the head for her. And next she lay down upon the bed of the Middle-sized Bear, and that was too high at the foot for her. And then she lay down upon the bed of the Little Small Wee Bear; and that was neither too high at the head nor at the foot, but just right. So she covered herself up comfortably, and lay there till she fell fast asleep.

By this time the Three Bears thought their porridge would be cool enough; so they came home to breakfast. Now Goldilocks had left the spoon of the Great Huge Bear standing in his porridge.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN AT MY PORRIDGE!" said the Great Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice. And when the Middle-sized Bear looked at his, he saw that the spoon was standing in it too.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN AT MY PORRIDGE!" said the Middle-sized Bear, in his middle-sized voice.

Then the Little Small Wee Bear looked at his, and there was the spoon in the porridge- pot, but the porridge was all gone.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN AT MY PORRIDGE, AND HAS EATEN IT ALL UP!" said the Little Small Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.

Upon this, the Three Bears, seeing that someone had entered their house, and eaten up the Little Small Wee Bear's breakfast, began to look about them. Now Goldilocks had not put the hard cushion straight when she rose from the chair of the Great Huge Bear.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR!" said the Great Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.

And Goldilocks had crushed down the soft cushion of the Middle-sized Bear.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR!" said the Middle-sized Bear, in his middle-sized voice.

And you know what Goldilocks had done to the third chair.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR AND HAS SAT THE BOTTOM OUT OF IT!" said the Little Small Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.

Then the Three Bears thought it necessary that they should make further search; so they went upstairs into their bed-chamber. Now Goldilocks had pulled the pillow of the Great Huge Bear out of its place.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BED!" said the Great Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.

And Goldilocks had pulled the bolster of the Middle-sized Bear out of its place.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BED!" said the Middle-sized Bear, in his middle-sized voice.

And when the Little Small Wee Bear came to look at his bed, there was the bolster in its place; and the pillow in its place upon the bolster; and upon the pillow was the shining, yellow hair of little Goldilocks!

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BED,-- AND HERE SHE IS!" said the Little Small Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.

Goldilocks had heard in her sleep the great, rough, gruff voice of the Great Huge Bear; but she was so fast asleep that it was no more to her than the roaring of wind or the rumbling of thunder. And she had heard the middle-sized voice of the Middle-sized Bear, but it was only as if she had heard someone speaking in a dream. But when she heard the little, small, wee voice of the Little Small Wee Bear, it was so sharp, and so shrill, that it awakened her at once. Up she started, and when she saw the Three Bears on one side of the bed, she tumbled herself out at the other, and ran to the window. Now the window was open, because the Bears, like good, tidy Bears as they were, always opened their bed-chamber window when they got up in the morning.

Out little Goldilocks jumped, and ran away home to her mother, as fast as ever she could.

Ferget the coffee?yer to young to drink it...

...and this isn't a bedtime story...