Public Service Announcement

[zuni_rocket]

Those planning to attend the Jon Bon Jovi, P-Diddy,the Dixie Chicks, Bruce Springsteen, & Barbara Streisand Concert hosted by Michael Moore on the White House lawn are hereby notified that it has been cancelled.


God Bless America!

[Seascamp]

Naw, that?s old hat. It?s the fat guy who sings now. Or maybe it?s the anorexic, frazzled out nut case Gal that does the singing, maybe Cher, eh. But the fat lady, Kate Smith, would sing for all of us if she could. Her rendition of ?God Bless America? still gets me tingling and I see a lot of beauty in that lovely Lady and one of the reasons I put on the Navy Cracker Jack Blues in the first place. ?To the mountains white with pride, God Bless America, my home sweet home?, yup that be the one, sure enough. But then, not PC at all-oh yikes. Maybe the 9th district will declare snow to be a violation of someone?s rights and ban it.

Scamp

[zuni_rocket]

One Skinny Women with a Hook nose wanted ! that get Cher or Bab's !! LOL

[SuperScout]

We at Carnival Cruise Lines are not forgetting that a lot of
entertainers promised to leave the country if George W. Bush were to be re-elected President.

With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise!

Attention: Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her "wife", Ed Asner,
Janneane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner (apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, and the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq or some similar sunny location. The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay... at least FOUR MORE YEARS.
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, John Edwards as
Cruise director, and Gray Davis, as Purser (the guy in charge of managing the money). "Teh-RAY-sah" Heinz Kerry hopefully will be shoved somewhere below decks away from the media. Monica Lewinsky will be the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl". Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen, and movies will be shown each evening by Michael Moore. John Kerry will be our Life Guard based on his past experience of pulling people out of the water. He is also in charge of games and has eliminated "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your flip flops as you will need them while playing.

Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and back-up Life Guard. He only qualifies as back-up Life Guard since his experience in rescuing people from drowning has not been too successful. Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will provide inspirational
services, and Al Franken will give inspirational talks each afternoon.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please contact Senator Hillary Clinton. Her "village" can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

"Bon Voyage!"

[39mto39g]

Now thats funny, without calling anyone names.

ps. Fat lady should be a gravity chalenged feminist type.


Ron

[Jumper208]

Hey superscout, you forgot, Johnny Depp, Martin Sheen, and The Beastie (Frenchy) Boys!

[SuperScout]

Thanks for reminding me of those that need to added to the passenger list! I think we'll still have room on board, if we can just keep the already-booked passengers from leaping over the side in grief-stricken angst and despair. We have also booked 150 psychotherapists to help those overcome with depression.

[darrels joy]

I object to the inclusion of the 150 psychotherapists unless their job is to explain what PTSD really is and that what these whiners just went through is not trauma.