Afternoon Humor

[SuperScout]

A couple, both Buckeyes, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed".


The doctor asked why, after 9 children, would you choose to do this.


The husband replied that they had read a recent article that 1 out of every 10 children being born was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby - especially since neither of them could speak Spanish.

[Jerry D]

Thats a (LOL) good one

[Seascamp]

Oh my, that's borderline ..............non-PC. :ek: Shame upon you, eh.
That being said, That's funny.

Scamp

[revwardoc]

Speaking of non-PC jokes...

A Mexican, an Iraqi, and an American are sitting in a bar...

The Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, " In Mexico our glasses so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice."

The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The American boy, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi, and catches his glass. He says, "In America we have so many Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice".

[revwardoc]

What the hell; one more...

"TOWEL HEADS"

Recently I received a warning about the use of this politically incorrect term, so please note: We all need to be more sensitive in our choice of words.

I have been informed the Islamic terrorists, who hate our guts and want to kill us, do not like to be called "Towel Heads" since the item they wear on their heads is not actually a towel, but in fact, a small folded sheet.

Therefore, from this point forward, please refer to them as "Little Sheet Heads."

Thank you for your support and compliance on this delicate matter

[Seascamp]

I hear sirens, drat, the PC Cops are coming and will be busting down the door any minute now. Break out the Fonda exercise tape, dummy up and shush up now.

Scamp

[Seascamp]

Ok, in for a penny, in for a pound. One of my Hungarian students sent me this one and is from the 1989 underground magazine ?Hetil? in a series entitled ?Lenin Garden?. Definitely non-PC and surely to be banned by the Boston Globe. :ek:

The teacher brings a rabbit to class. ?So what is this", children? Can you tell me? Deep silence. ?Come on now? she pleads, what have we been talking over and over again about this for an entire year? ?I know Miss Comrade Teacher? says little Maurice raising his hand, ?it must be Comrade Lenin himself?.

Scamp

[darrels joy]

The Old Dog

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged dog named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old dog thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old dog nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the! leopard. So off he goes, but the old dog sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the
beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old dog says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story..

Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!

"The clock of life is wound but once"

[frisco-kid]

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington And they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.


TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse? You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!


And Last but not least.....

George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart . "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and haul her ass off to jail."

[Jerry D]

Thanks for the Smiles and Laughs, those were some funny ones again