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  #4441  
Old 08-31-2005, 12:01 PM
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Bob
Having had just enough of the Irish delight, I have given the question a great deal of thought. I think your right about his doing the nasty to himself. But I would guess that in his mind he is with mother thumb. Now this is not all bad. If I had visited her more often instead of BC Street in Okinawa, I would not have gone to the sick bay to get my shot of make it feel better. But you would think that he could find a more private location, I mean after all this is a fine drinking establishment, and the sounds he makes disturbs my quit time with that fine Irshman Mr. Brennan.
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  #4442  
Old 08-31-2005, 12:22 PM
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It must be that fine southern upbringing........No place is out-of-place....Scotch little ice.....make it a double
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  #4443  
Old 08-31-2005, 05:02 PM
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Sick Puppies
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  #4444  
Old 09-01-2005, 04:33 AM
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Congrats on making the R.O.S.P.L. (Royal Order of the Sick Puppy Lodge) which has been imposed upon you by our president in good standing......John "Chief Pubah of the Royal Sick Puppies and official Chicken Choker" Hagar.
Its too early for a scotch, I'll have an Irish coffee......light on the coffee.....Better yet hold the coffee
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  #4445  
Old 09-01-2005, 06:35 AM
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Bob
thank you, thank you. I will cherish this honor with all the respect that it deserves. I know that I am among an esteemed group of Sick Puppies and Chicken Chokers. But let me ask. What about the lass with the red hair and green eyes, who used the rezor on LT's hand? Is she a member of the chicken chokers, too? Or does she just do shaves and haircuts? Speaking of chickens. A friend told me that if you use a chicken to do the nasty, it's best to be standing in front of a chest of drawers, with one drawer opened. That when that special time comes, you stick the chickens head in the drawer and slam it shut. He said the chicken does all sort or erotic things. I don't know, never tried, couldn't find a willing chicken.

Bob let me buy you several shots of Glenfiddich single malt, and we can discuss if it is true, that the Devil invented Scotch Whiskey to make the Irish poor.

Analyze, Improvise, Adapt and Overcome.
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  #4446  
Old 09-01-2005, 06:48 AM
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The reason for the palm shave is to cut down on beard burn when milkin' the mule. Now the way it was explained to me regarding the chicken was to get an old inner tube. Cut out a strip of rubber, tie it around the chicken neck then place the strip of rubber around your waist. The chicken is now positioned directly in front of your crotch with his head facing away. Now you start to slap the chicken and he will attempt to fly away only to be pulled back by the oversized rubber band. Just keep smackin' the chicken until you're done
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  #4447  
Old 09-01-2005, 11:59 AM
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Bob
That's great, I mean really great. It's hands free which means that while you slap the chicken with one hand you can down a few shots with the other. What a wonderful way to spend the afternoon.
Now I understand why the lass was helping LT. out. Wonder what she could do about calluses. I wonder where she hides out during the day, maybe I'll look in the barber shop on my way to the junk yard to get and old inner tube. Got to stop at the farm yard to see if I can pick up a nice vigorous chicken on my back. Barman, another drink for my good friend, it's time to be off in my quest for earthly delights.
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  #4448  
Old 09-02-2005, 05:52 AM
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Now if you're one of them city slickers, the guy selling you the chicken might sell you a rooster instead. Those damn roosters have some some pretty sharp talons which can make mince meat out of your testicles. If you cant tell the difference, make sure you put down a few shots of scotch before you hook up the inner tube.
How come there's no women in this bar???
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  #4449  
Old 09-02-2005, 06:43 AM
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I what an afternoon I had. I went to the junk yard and got an old inner tube, then to the farm and spoke to the chicken wangler who picked out the cuttest little chick for me. We the chick and I went home and had a nice dinner of corn meal hush puppies with creamed corn, had a few drinks and did a little dancing to a corn reel. There wasn't much conversation though, as the chick just made some gutteral sound which I couldn't understand. Anyway things were going fine and I got her all strapped in nice and cozy. Had a glass of on the Breenans in my left hand ready to take a sip. I hit the chick up side the head, then everything went to hell. The knot slipped on the inner tube, came back and slapped me in my private part, the glass flew foreward spilling over the chicks rear, which caused her fly around the room crashing in to everything. She came to a DEAD stop with her head stuck in the screen of my TV. I am going to sick bay now to see what can be done about the large amount of swelling and dark blue color of my hang appendage. I think the dresser drawer would have worked much better, Well you live and learn I guess. When I return I'll get a bucket of ice to set on and we can discuss why there are no ladies in the fine drinking establishment.
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  #4450  
Old 09-02-2005, 08:24 AM
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Sorry to hear the bad news....Apparently the inner tube was rotten. Damn I should have told you to check that.....my fault.

This is a true story...Mu uncle owned a chicken farm along with a packaging and freezing building. One of the processes was to kill the chicken (naturally) and place it into a feather plucker. This process removed all feathers but didnt damage the skin. Well when I was about 4 years old, I thought it would be really neat to put a bunch of live chickens through the plucker. The opportunity came and I did it!!!! I had all these pissed off naked chickens running around. When my dad and uncle got home.....They commenced to beating my ass to the point that I couldnt sit down for a week.
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