Afternoon Humor!

[Jerry D]

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last moments before the crash.

They were not surprised to find in 42 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"

But the states of Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, Alabama, West Virginia and Kentucky were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were, "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin'."

[revwardoc]

To show you how bad the price of gas is, and is going to be:

Yesterday I drove up to the pump and asked the attendant for $5 worth of gas; he farted, then gave me a receipt!

[b3196]

Lady was checking out at the grocery store with
1/2 dozen eggs
1 qt of orange juice
1 qt of milk
small head of lettuce
1 frozen dinner

The man standing behind her said "You must be single".
After a few minutes, her curiosity got the best of her and she said "yes, how can you tell?"
Upon which he replied.........."Because you're UGLY!!!!"
Bob K

[SEATJERKER]

...

..Dear Bob,...

...Do you know why most Polish people have "ski" added to their last name,...

...They couldn't spell "toboggan",...

...

[Boats]

Geex Bob - that was a great ending - caught me off guard!! ha ha really liked it - thanks

[b3196]

lady walks into her 30 year old daughter's bedroom to find her having sex with her vibrator. The mother, shocked screams WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!. The daughter replies, this is the closest thing to a husband that I have......so quit bothering me.
A few days later the father walks by the daughters bedroom and sees his daughter again having sex with the vibrator....He yells WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!! She replies, this is the closest thing to a husband that I have.....So quit bothering me

The next Sunday the mother comes home and she hears this vibrator in the living room.....She runs in there and sees her husband sitting on the couch and the vibrator next to him.
Again she screams, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!!!!
He replys..
.
.
Im just drinking a beer and watching football with my son-in-law

Bob K

[Boats]

That was great too! It's good to have a sense of humor. Thanks again Bob

[goodnessgracie]

Bob,

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING SPYING ON ME & MY FAMILY???


Three old mischievous grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old grandpa walked by, and one of the old grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools."

One of the ornery grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your undershorts and we can tell your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little, he dropped his drawers. The grandmas stared at him for a while, asked him to turn around a couple of times, asked him to jump up and down for a little while and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!"

"How in the world did you guess?!?"

The ornery old grandmas, snickered and laughed. Slapping their
knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three happily yelled in unison,

"Because you told us yesterday."

[sn-e3]

Doe's anyone know how Aids got into Hollywood?............... In the rear end of a Hudson

[82Rigger]

Chris,

You got it all wrong.

Rock Hudson's death was drug related.

He got ahold of some bad crack!