For the Ladies: Christmas Gifts for Men

[82Rigger]

With Christmas coming, this is may be some help.

#1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he
already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to
complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

#2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey
George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. "By-the-way, are you through
with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

#3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car.
99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer, or something to hang
from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one
knows why.

#4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men
bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.


#5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn
out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.


#6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit
in a cupboard for 23 years.

#7:
Do not buy any man after shave or
deodorant. They do not stink - they are "earthy".

#8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere.
Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea.
No one knows why.

#9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.


#10:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr
Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire.
(NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
"From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")


#11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will
barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.
Tell him the gas line leaks. " Who wants a hamburger?"


#12:
Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.


#13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy the man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.


#14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

#15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at
least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

Airborne! Steve / 82Rigger

[revwardoc]

That's a perfect list. I've copied it out for my wife.

A man can never have too much duct tape.Especially if he has a chainsaw.

[exlrrp]

'Minds me of the time I bought my first wife a new Monroe 25 oz waffle faced framing hammer for Christmas. (I use a 32) She wouldn't never let me use it either, not even for expensive trim.
I bought my current girlfriend a really nice tool box filled with tools--she uses it for a planter.
no one knows why

James


"A truly SMART bomb would refuse to explode." I love it, Steve, Weapons of mass destruction is only a relative term

[reeb]

Rigger,

IF YOU WERE A WOMAN, I WOULD MARRY YOU IN HEART BEAT ...

enough.........

[grasshopper]

dang it

[melody1181]

To funny!

I made my brother a duck tape wallet for his b-day an he loved it. Duck tape has gotten rather stylish, all sorts of colors.....black blue red and the ol grey.

[grasshopper]

Lay off that duck tape, will ya??? It is ours!!! BTW.. Us women don't need all them fancy scmancy tools and such...

all we need is duck tape & this: