You Might Be a Coastie if....

[sfc_darrel]

Unlike those "Simulating life on a [service] ship" things this one is 95% accurate.

Navy folks please take note of #29, this pertains to you too!

You Might Be a Coastie if....
1. You know instantly that "work smarter, not harder" means billet cuts
2. People ask you what you're doing beyond the three mile limit
3. You get married to move out of the barracks
4. You precede every public speech with, "I was going to tell a sea story,
but seeing the lack of Cutterman's pins out there, you all just wouldn't
understand"
5. An Alaskan cruise is not an option for your honeymoon.
6. You are still trying to figure out what TQM was all about.
7. You've ever laughed when watching the CG commercial at 3:00 am, and
wondered why all they show is helo's and small boats
8. You've successfully avoided at least one inspection, Change of Command,
or urinalysis
9. After boot camp, you've never fired a gun
10. You hear a HH-65 and DON'T look up
11. Your port calls have more bars in them than people
12. You consider the door falling off your aircraft natural air
conditioning
13. While underway, a life raft comes loose, hits you on the head and
you're counseled for "loss of situational awareness"
14. Members of other branches of the service visit your workspace and they
shout, "Wow, I haven't seen one of these in 20 years!"
15. Your idea of aromatherapy is Simple Green and JP5.
16. ...Any time you set out on a trip you expect to hear "make
preparations for getting underway".
17. When you come home with groceries you shout, "All hands lay to the
garage/driveway/curb for stores".
18. You catch yourself speaking to your children in the same tone of voice
you use with your nonrates ... or is it the other way around?
19. You are not sure if there really is life out there, i.e. in the real
world.
20. It seems every time you watch a movie it says on the bottom of the
screen "Property of the US Navy"
21. If you've had people say to you, "The Coast Guard is military?"
22. You might be a TC Coastie if everyone on the ship asked you what you
do in the radio room and then got mad because you said, "I could tell you
but then I'd have to kill you!"
23. If getting to sleep after mid-watch was ever difficult due to the
ever-present sun up above throwing your system off.
24. If your ship is handed a list of businesses your crew is not welcome
at during their port call...
25. You've left a port with more than one sign from the naval base...
26. You've woken up in the "red zone" in Panama.
27. WMEC means 'We Must Eat Chicken' to you.
28. If your 40-year-old boat is getting underway on Monday for a 6-week
patrol and your still making plans for the weekend because you know the
boat will break down within 2-3 days.
29. You might be a Coastie if your ship sends an emergency CASREP for the
broken coffee maker.
30. You might be a Coastie if the Marines get upset when they see you get
to use real bullets in your weapon.
31. If your child refers to the boat or station as "where Daddy lives"
32. You claim to have a woman in every port, yet you are at an ashore
unit.
33. CENSORED......
34. You run from the kitchen, trip over the dog, fall and hit your head on
the coffee table just to see a 15 second blip on TV when you hear the
words "Coast Guard"!
35. You PANIC when you have to wear nice civilian clothes out because you
can't color coordinate because you know no other than blue.
36. Your wife looks at you strange and spouts out, "You're not my Chief,
and I sure as hell ain't one of your damn Seaman!"
37. If you abbreviate words so much that you for get how to spell them
out.
38. You tell your children that Fridays are 'field days'
39. If you believe USCG really stands for "Uncle Sams Confused Group"
40. You can get an alcohol incident and advance in the same week

[Tamaroa]

Excellent. Most of those are more true then you would want to believe :-)

[cstfe]

JP5 is eue de parfume........... at least that is what Floyd called it and diesel was deodorant..

People in Cheboygan wanted to ban all the guys off the MAC til the bars started raking in bucks.

Ever have some one ask where the CG commissary is?

Esther