big chose

[Tina]

Okay i know that if anyone in this world will be honest with me its you all... I have to choose between some stuff and i am confused...
This passed weekend I went to see my boyfriend in VA..
we have been together for awhile now..
He asked me if I was willing to move to VA.. I am like hell ya I am willing.. Well of course I start to talk to my mom and dad about it and I get.. I don't want to talk about it right now.. So finally several days later I make them talk to me about it.. I get the your are our oldest daughter and all we want Tina is for you to be happy.. Well then I get the feeling deep down inside.. That they are lien to me.. They don't want me to move but I would be so happy..
My mom is like only talking to me if she has too.. Cause it upset her so bad that I really want to move..
Dad is like do what ever you want .. When you want to do something you are going to do it regardless of what we want..
sighs.. I am confused...
Why do parents have to be like this.. Why can't they open their arms and tell me good luck and let it all be good..
I know its hard on them.. But don't they think its hard on me too?? Cause i am giving up alot too..
Hope someone can help me out here..
love ya all
Your friend and God Bless,
Tina Catena

[sn-e3]

Tina like all parents yours want whats best for you and from past posts I'm sure they are worried that you might get hurt and they might not be close enough to help you. after all even if you were a hundren years old you would still be there little girl they are just worried for you but remember it is your life so it will be up to you to choose it will be hard but they will support your choise believe me .... your friend chris

[Keith_Hixson]

They have mixed emotions. They don't want to see you move and they want to see you move all at the same time. Good parenting means the child leaves the nest and begins to make his/her own way in life. So they have mixed emotions.

Secondly, the relationship between you and your boyfriend. As a parent I would want to know if what kind of guy he is. Of course you think he is the greatest but parents are always suspicious about that fellow who wants take you away from them. They are probably both sad to see you go and happy to see you go. They are scared and happy all at once. When the kids begin leaving the nest it is a rough time for parents, especially mothers.

I think you feel their reservations. Make sure you know what you are doing! Make sure this guy is capable of handling a serious relationship and not just using you. All kinds of things like that go through a parents head. So, try to understand their feelings.

I'm sure they are glad that you are finally making that choice to go out on your own away from your parents. They just want you to be very careful. You certainly old enough to make your own decisions.

Keith

[phuloi]

Tina...What the Reverend said.And good luck!

[Arrow]

Tina, Good advice above, go slow...have some sites that I will put up for you that might be of use. I don't know if you meant him on the internet but you might want to consider reading some red flags. If I would have read them I could have saved myself some heartache. I went through a real hard time thinking someone was honest and sincere with me only to find out through forwarded mail from another friend that he was player. It made me very sad. I don't want it to happen to you. Go slow sweetie.

www.saferdating.com/page_3.htm

[Tina]

Thanks to you all for everything.. i guess i will understand oneday when i have those kids of my own..
To tell you all the truth mom and dad are crazy about him i know i know just about came me one too :P
To answer the question did i meet him on the internet NO i did not.. I met him at my brohter/sister in laws wedding.. he is my sister in laws bestfriend..
thanks again
love ya all
Your friend and God Bless,
Tina Catena

[Seascamp]

You are at an age where you will find your folks dummying up on certain issues. I would take this as a sign that they are trying to get in touch with their feelings and don?t want to go with their first reaction. As well, I believe that that is a positive sign. I know that is the way I react on certain issues. At a time my daughter asked if I?d be angry if she moved in with a guy. Well, I didn?t answer that question for a week, but I did answer when I got it all thought out. The Lad and I had to come to an understanding and he had to know my expectations and hot buttons and all went well from that point on. My rule one is no ?players? for my kiddos and that is what Sis was speaking of.

Scamp.

[Arrow]

That's exacly what I am talking about Scamp. It takes time a lot of time to know. And just because the person knows people you know and is approved by them does not mean they are ok. As was in the case I noted above. There is no fool like an old fool. And I think we can be as vulnerable in our later years as our early years. Esp when the children start leaving the nest and you find yourself facing maybe the next 20 or 30 years alone.


But nothing is worse than being young, sweet and full of excitement for life and have it robbed from you a few years down the road when you wake up and find out that the person you thought you married doesn't even exist. This may sound hard but below is site that I'm putting up for anyone that wants to use it. I think it is a good thing for both men and women. Check it out before making any serious life decisions. And remember players only love you when their playin'.

datesmart.com/map.htm

[Keith_Hixson]

Its a great site. As a pastor I have so many horror stories about things gone wrong in a relationship. I would be absolutely scared to date if anything happened to my Susan. Too many weirdo's out there. But, there are many many good folks out there also. Be careful and look through datesmart. I'm going to use that site and tell young folks about it. Thanks SIS.

Keith

[Arrow]

ps. Tina a wedding is a good place to meet someone. And it is even better that your family knows him. I hope it all works out for you. There is nothing sweeter than love that last.