visitation

DMZ-LT · #1 08-10-2002, 09:55 PM

In order to try to understant my youngest daughter better , I woke up at 7am today to help my daughter drive about 100 miles to see an x/? boyfriend who happened to be locked up in the HARTSVILLE CO. Detention Center - he says he is innocent. Any way she can go in and see him and i can't cause I am not cleared. I have known him for 21 years.. They have 3 hours to be in a 24 +12 room with lots of other prisoners. I drive away and read a book- Ann Rice - for 2 1/2 hours, Get there early and see Lisa sitting on the curb crying when I get there. Seems when they told them time to leave they were too passionate amoung the 30 other people. Told my daughter she could no longer come visit ever. Told her she couldn't even stay in the building - had to go outside in the 90% heat Called the guard and asked if we could work this out - I would have to talk to others -- Scouts out , never did take a prisoner ! Don't Puck with my family

SEATJERKER · #2 08-11-2002, 07:35 AM

...sounds like a tough row to hoe...

...If he's in "detention", then something ?serious?" happened, and not knowing the situation makes it hart to comment...
...he's says he's innocent, he didn't do nuthin',...last time I heard that, I was holding down a guy with a 357 pokin' out from under his ribs, sorry to be sarcastic, but we've all heard that before too many times...
... you said X/? boyfriend... .. to be "booted" for locking lips during visitation sounds like it was either for stirring up others emotionaly, or the risk now days of "passing" contraband, and "kissing" or personal contact is very limited...
...sorry for your daughters pain, and hope she can see the "TRUTH" of the situation, or the "TRUTH" of this man, before it's too far along...
...if you've known him for 21 + years, your call,... I'm sure you have made some assumtions, and your family comes first,...too many Jeckel's, and Hyde's out there...
...I hope she moves on.... best wishes..........

Keith_Hixson · #3 08-11-2002, 08:12 AM

Boy are you cynical! But some good advice over all. I wouldn't put it quite the way you did. But never the less not bad advice.

John, check your PM for some additional advice.

Keith

Arrow · #4 08-11-2002, 08:42 AM

Good thing I wasn't there. While understanding that they don't allow any personal contact for the reasons stated by C passing of contraband etc. The prisoners are usually told no contact. And many times the visitors are told also. It wasn't necessary for them to kick her to the curb. I would have been more than a little upset to see that.

We all know though once your loved one gets in the "system" you will be treated suspect also. It just goes with the territory. It is something to think long and hard about. As to if you really want to go down that rabbit trail with them.

He may be innocent. But 99.9 % of those incarcerated make that claim. Young love is sweet and sometimes a lot more exciting with a bad boy or a rebel. But time passes and your thirty, then forty, and then fifty he hasn't changed and your an old woman waiting in line to show your id one more time for a few minutes of conversation with someone that refuses to grow up.

It is hard to let go of the ones we love but sometimes we have to.

Love you "little Lt" God bless you little girl. Stay safe k? your big sis..

SEATJERKER · #5 08-11-2002, 10:00 AM

...detention, not prisoner, so I'm to understand that he's in the system awaiting ??trial??/ and/or release// how long has he been detained... sorry to spout without the facts, and yea, trust is something you earn with me, I don't know you, I don't trust you period, I've earned that, and if your in the hands of "barney" already, I trust you even less already,...sorry for being cynical... my first gut instinct has kept me alive this long, and I go with it,
...keep her spirits up, and tell her to remember "men are like buses, there is another coming down the road 30 minutes later" don't ride the ones with square wheels, give her a hug, and tell her you love her..............

xgrunt · #6 08-11-2002, 10:16 AM

most facilities have rules about physical contact among the prisoners and visitors. It could be they carried their good feelings seriously beyond thse rules. I know when I was prison In Georgia you could not kiss your lady hello or goodby as it was too easy to pass hash oil ,etc ,mouth to mouth. However putting her on the curb in that heat WAS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR. Yes. I meant to yell that last part out. What ever the problem was it was handled in a totally un- professsional manner.

Arrow · #7 08-11-2002, 10:31 AM

Quote:

...keep her spirits up, and tell her to remember "men are like buses, there is another coming down the road 30 minutes later" don't ride the ones with square wheels, give her a hug, and tell her you love her

C only you could come up with something like that. I'm going to have to pass it on to my girls.

Brother Keith you got to understand C's Style. He's from NY State. I kinda of like the way you never have to wonder what he is thinkin...he is what he is and says what he thinks. NO PRETENSE.

Life would be so much easier if more of us would do that. Then you could sort out who your real friends and enemies were quick fast and in a hurry it would save us all so much time and frustration.

DMZ-LT · #8 08-11-2002, 12:43 PM

I was kinda hopeing getting older would be a little easier than this and yes I am movin!

Arrow · #9 08-11-2002, 01:07 PM

there ain't nothin' to do but "dance as though no one was looking and love as though it's never going to hurt"..

DMZ-LT · #10 08-11-2002, 04:44 PM

First let me stat by saying that my dad's post was WAY off- my friend is in a "program" for 6 months and is coming home sep. 30th! He has never said that he was innocent for ANYTHING- he was driving on a suspended lisence- that's all folks! We are allowed to kiss & hug when I first see him & when I leave after 3 hours- this is not prison! The lady was a bitch and that's all! Dad made up his own version, funny, since he wasn't even there and all - Jeremy has been one of the best friends I will ever have- he's a great person, so no worries about lil' lt- But remember- there's always the "true story" & the one someone passes on & somehow it becomes what THEY want it to be- Hey sis- no worries- you would love jeremy just as much as I do! I'm blessed to have him in my life for all these years! He respects me and unconditionally loves me & that's all I want!!!!