Boating For Dummies

[skeeter]

Credit goes to Sherlock Homes from the Private Forum for this.

The boys had gathered in their playhouse Saturday morning. They'd nicknamed it the White House even though none of them were bright enough to ever occupy the real one.

"Hey fellers." said George the not very bright brother of Jeb. "Let's go canoeing!"

George had been appointed the leader (note: appointed). Not because of his qualifications, but because his dad was wealthy and always bought treats for anyone who would play with his mean and stupid son.

There weren't many. Brother Jeb was doing time for smuggling.

There was Dick, a punny and always ill boy with a sneaky demeanor.

Rummy the class clown but with a mean streak a yard wide. And an ego to match.

Paul the runty looking nerd who couldn't meet anyone's eye.

Then there was Colon. He didn't belong in this group but had compromised his principals for the cash and perks that went with playing with George.

Dick was enthusiastic.

"I love canoeing, "he yelled. Then fell into a fit of coughing and clutched his chest.

"Well, it's a great idea," said Paul.

"I'm on board. How about you, Colon?" asked Rummy.

"Where are we canoeing to," asked Colon. "I don't want to get stuck on the river."

"Never mind that," said George, grabbing a paddle.


We're off," said Dick between coughs.

The boys paddled furiously.

"Man we're flying," said George, laughing so hard he turned as red as a beet.

"Yahoo," shouted Paul and Rummy. "Faster, Paddle faster."

Colon was morose and didn't laugh.

"You need to set a destination before you start paddling as hard as you can."

"Oh come on Colon. Have some fun. Join the party."

Reluctantly Colon picked up a paddle and unenthusiasticly started paddling.


What's that roaring?" asked Colon.

The sound increased in volume.

"Maybe they's a rock concert," said George. " I love rock concerts. Let's paddle faster."

"That's not rock and roll," said Colon. "It sounds like a waterfall. What's this river wer're on George?"

"It's the Viagra," said George. But looks less than sure.

"Give me that map," said Colon. He looked at the map with growing alarm.

"This isn't the Viagra. It's the Niagra. And that sounds is Niagra Falls."

"Well," said Rummy, "we'll have to paddle that much harder."

"Are you crazy?" asked Colon.

"The jury is still out, but I think I'm as sane as the next guy," said Rummy, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "If we paddle real hard there's a chance that when we hit the falls we'll just keep going in the air till we get to the other side."

"There is no other side you fool," said Colon in disgust.

"Rummy is a fine boy and I trust him. If he says we can get to the other side by rowing harder, I'm rowing harder, " said Dick.

"Yeah," said George, although he had no idea what Rummy had proposed.

"I hope you're right," said Colon, as he picked up a paddle and started paddling furiously.

"How did I get into this shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttt......... .

[colmurph]

And another fine piece of trash from that noted author "Richard Cranium"!

[SuperScout]

Do you remember the 'little piglet' we had over on the other site, the one who was always insulting others' family members, always had some pathological manifestation of some sexual dysfunction? Lo and behold, I believe that piglet has morphed itself into another, even lower life-form! And it may be time to resurrect that anti-piglet, intrepid warrior from yesteryear, and do some additional pest suppression.

[colmurph]

Do you suppose that this could be the "Piglet" and that the profile is a phony one? He seems to be too dumb to be a former Naval Aviator. He seems to have an IQ that matches my shoe size.
Acts the same, Smells the same, Sounds the same. Wonder if he ever went out and bought his "Cold War Medal".

[Seascamp]

Ah yes, the former ?Snake with cheese? guy. The one and only self-alleged sometimes Marine turned heroic and intrepid merchant marine sailor. I recall that someone turpentined his butt good and proper and I know who done it, but I ain?t sayin.

Scamp

[Drywall]

That CW medal thing made me wonder too. There were never any issued.

[skeeter]

At first there was only one worm(superscout) that crawled out and looked around.. Didn't see another low-life, so he crawled some distance to Cherry Hill, NJ and sure enough there was another worn. The two crawled some more to Plum City, WI and came upon another worm. Three worms realizing they wouldn't have much impact, so they crawled some more to Sequim, Wa and they find another worm. Here are four low-life worms with no purpose in life. Worms are better if they mingle with each other, as they don't get along with any other creatures on earth. So they seek to find other worms they can relate to, as they know more low-life worms are greater to spread their secretion. So crawling they go to San Francisco, Ca and sure enough they find another worn of their type. Now they feel they are a group, but five worms may not be enough.. With luck they crawl near a nice place in Gardnerville, NV, and out crawls a worm, not like the five, but they feel they can convert him to their ideas. Now here are six worms feeling they need to debate against some thoughts of others. They needed to carry a name for their group, but decided to find another worn to make the name proper. So they crawl and came to a site called, the Patriot Files. There they find their seventh worm from Minnesota.

They agreed to be called the "Magnificent Seven" like the well know movie. So they run into a member on the Patriot Files named "Skeeter." They welcome old Skeeter to their group at first, but old Skeeter is not one of their type. Skeeter know they(worms) cannot be called the "Magnificent Seven," as none of the group can be a "Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Cobrun, Eli Wallach, Robert Vaughn, and Brad Dexter type.

So all the seven from- Wimberly, Tx, Plum City, Wi, Cherry Hill, NJ, San Francisco, Ca, Sequim, Wa, Gardnervill, Nv, and Minnesota. are now trying to figure out just who Skeeter really is.

Now the seven have become ten, and Skeeter is waiting till they become twelve, so he can called the group the "Dirty Dozen".

Right now Skeeter has labeled the group-- The Fire Hydrant 10.

May all the wonderful dogs on every block have their joy with the hydrant boys.

[Drywall]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[catman]

skeeter...does not really matter who the hell you are, I am sending this thread to David and you will never post on this site again. You have been warned a few times to stop the personal attacks. No one person here has posted anything on this thread that can be traced to you and you openly attack many site members who have not posted here. Have a good life.

Trav

[David]

Done.